Dude!!! What? You are self-depreciating? Or is your wife allocating your costs over the periods of your expected use?
We don't really have context on the situation. He might not necessarily be saying to do that in a game situation, but just to do it for the sake of a drill or something. I think SVG might know a thing or two about basketball...
This reminds of a time when all you had to do to be an NBA head coach was be a former player; and, of course, white.
The only thing that was problematic there was the behind the back stuff; but side-to-side dribbling gives you extra flexibility when stopping, starting, moving around in close quarters or deciding whether or not to pass.
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Now there's some good advice by Red Auerbach. Baton twirling while dribbling is a good way to protect the ball.
Oh good lord.....there is a vast difference in calling someone fat in a personal manner, and talking about how some basketball players got out of shape, as was reported in the Chronicle, btw. Some of you will look at anything to pick a fight, grow up - SHEESH ! DD