Well, look at the bright side, time for you to start partying like you did before you were married. Find some chick 1/2 your wifes age (keep it above 18 tho) and you'll feel much better.
I recently date a girl w BPD and let me tell you, it was nightmare. I feel your pain. Granted the relationship lasted less than a year but it might as well have been a divorce when I decided to end it. Hands down the most absurd situation i've ever been involved in. Keep your head up.
Dude, I was in the same boat not half a year ago. 2 kids (5 and 6) and separated since late Feb. About two months ago we agreed on a divorce and was already doing the process. Papers sent in and everything. All we had to do now was go to the court and sign the papers and it was finalized. But we decided to give it one more chance. I've been where your at and during my separation I was hurting every night. My kids wanted to see me and vice versa. I can't imply it for everyone but I was praying to G*d everyday but maybe you can look at it. Its not over till those papers are signed.
Extremely sorry about what has gone down man, I haven't really talked to you much but I must say I echo the sentiments about being careful with Xanax. What exactly was the reason it was prescribed to you? Most psychiatrist these days have stopped prescribing it because of its high addiction potential, as mentioned before it is mainly primary care physicians who prescribe it. Lexapro could be very beneficial if indeed you really find yourself being depressed eventually, but you need to give yourself some time to deal with whats going on before trying medication. It is completely normal to feel down in the dumps and exhibit signs of depression during this process for up to several months. For that you do not need medication, you need a solid support system to get you through this exceedingly tough time. However, if many months down the road, you find yourself still depressed (by that one means feeling down nearly every day and having problems with either sleep, feeling hopeless/helpless/guilty, loss of appetite, etc) then I would definitely consider seeing a psychiatrist to help you through this tough time. Therapy is a great first line of defense in this situation and I would recommend starting sooner rather than later if you feel that it might be beneficial. If not, then leaning on friends and family is also great. Hope the people here at clutchfans can be a part of helping you through this, good luck and again, be careful and be safe.
Manny, my brother went through a nasty divorce two years ago and he came out a healed, better person. of course every situation is different, he had no kids and that changes everything. he was also in what appeared to be a very healthy marriage that just ended one day when the wife left him for an old college boyfriend (facebook) after a brief depression with the help of meds in the summer of '09, like I said he came out of his dark hole a more well rounded individual- went through the 1/3rd life crisis and bought a new guitar and a motorcycle(or three) and he weened himself off meds quickly. it changed his whole perspective on life and love, and the best part of the story is he is now with the jilted lover of the old college boyfriend. call up Maury Povich. it gets better...
Really sorry to hear that Manny. It sounds like though you are doing the right thing by having an amicable divorce and working on being a good father to your kids. I don't have much good advice but hang in there and stay positive!
Disclaimer: I take anti-depressants. As for the Lexapro/Xanax cautions. The anti-depressants are a good step in helping you deal with the whole situation. They aren't magic pills (how I wished they were when I first started, lol), but they can be an extremely beneficial balancing tool with whatever you are dealing with (in this case, you know what the issues are). Lexapro might not even help right away, but it's a good tool to have in the box to buffer some of the lows. The Xanax is an interesting one. It can be addictive, but like a few others have said if you don't have any big problems with addictions in the past you should be fine. I've been on it for long-term at times and I eventually stopped taking it because I was also taking sleeping pills at the time (which was not the best idea in hindsight). Ask your psychiatrist if there's something with less addictive properties long-term after about a month or so. Particularly since you never know with divorces, but they aren't quite known for being short from what I gather :\. Nthing talk-therapy, I miss it a lot sometimes and still want to find a good one in Houston. I'd have a recommendation for you, but with money being a little tight right now I'll have to wait to get one myself. Hope some of that helped man.
Like Finals said (more or less), I've always had the impression that you were never 100% sure that your soon to be former wife was "the one" for you, so perhaps this is all for the best. The fly in the ointment, of course, is your son (and your step-daughter, to a degree). Regardless of what happens down the road, you have to be there for him, and I have no doubt that you will be, as you're a stand up guy with class (at least where music is concerned! ;-)- ) I wouldn't freak out about taking the meds, but rather keep close tabs on whether they are helping you. It's not at all unusual to have to try different things until your doctor finds the right combination to help you through this, as well as dealing with long term issues going forward. Just give him good feedback and don't be shy about telling him/her what works, and what doesn't seem to. Good luck, Manny.
