In high school, they always have bullies, that always make fun of people because they are different (short, fat, etc), dont pay attention to them, if you show them that it bothers you, then they will keep saying those awful things to you. Another thing, try be confident in the first days of the college, and people will talk to you, and you can make friends. but yeah, like other people said talk to a therapist or a counselor, they will help you on how to gain more confidence. Good luck!
Also, in response to rocketsjudoka's feelings about psychiatric medication... Medication is not and never should be the first course of treatment for depression or anxiety or some other mood disorder; talk therapy should be. A good therapist will refer to a psychiatrist if he thinks it is necessary. And I have to generously believe that those who are discouraging therapy are doing so from a position of ignorance (I mean this literally, as in 'simply not knowing' and not as an insult) based upon the unfortunate stigma associated with mental illness and treatment. I think everybody should be in therapy. It doesn't hurt, it helps. Some people need medication too. For them, it is critical and can be the difference between life and death or even just the difference between a life that is functional or even happy and one that is neither. I agree that many people that are medicated shouldn't be and I think that's dangerous and bad. But discouraging medication out of hand (or especially treatment) is extremely irresponsible and continues to contribute to stigmas regarding mental health that we should be way beyond as a society. Psychiatrists are doctors. They are healers. And they have made it their life's mission to help people, partly by determining who would benefit from medication and who would not. It is still an imperfect science because there is no blood test or x-ray for a mood disorder; doctors have to rely on the patient's account of his life and how he is feeling. But they are good at it. That's why they're doctors. Judoka, no offense, but you are not. Many people are harmed by taking wrong medication, but many other people suffer terribly or even die from avoiding medication altogether. OP: If you are still reading, I implore you to disregard rocketsjudoka's advice on this matter. It is very bad advice. Treatment for any depression, anxiety or social difficulty is never harmful. It is only ever helpful. And people who are suffering should be encouraged to, not discouraged from, seek treatment.
BJ, I am not discouraging anyone from going to therapy and if you reread my post I say its probably a good idea. I also medication can help. What I was saying is that he, the OP or really anyone, shouldn't expect medication to solve all of their problems. Also while I am not a doctor I have had personal experience regarding anti-depressants since I two of my former GF's were on them and also one of my best friend is taking medication. While the medication certainly helped them deal with severe depression it wasn't a cure all and at the same time there were other side affects to those medications (Prozac and Zoloft mostly) such as sexual dysfunction. The medication helped but to leave a full life all of the other stuff is needed. Obviously if someone really feels they need them they should but I am concerned that our society does seem fairly quick to resort to medication whether it is to deal with depression or with kids hyperactivity and the fact that we are saturated with ads for medications doesn't help.
Sorry to hear that Manny and I can sympathize. The architecture field is about as lows as it can get now and my business is also struggling. Hang in there Manny!
You just have to not give a **** what people think. If they say something, say something back and beat their ass if they try to. But the key is, dont give a **** what ANYONE thinks and be out going. Life is short and might as well live up your years in highschool while they last but im pretty sure college will be better.
My bad. I misread your post and/or got it mixed up with some other ones. You obviously have the OP's interests at heart and have given a lot of good, thoughtful advice. And everything you posted here is true. Even if meds are the right course, they sometimes exact a price. And we all have our stories with friends, family or ourselves. It took me two years of trial and error, none of it easy, to find medication that works for me. And I would never take meds without also doing therapy and seeing a psych regularly for med consults. But you are right that as a society we are overmedicated. I just don't regard that to be as great a problem as the ones that are under-treated (including medication). Your stories are your experience. Mine is one of having lost two close friends: one to a slow and painful death from alcoholism at the age of 40 and one to suicide around the age of 30, both of whom struggled their whole lives but refused the treatment they badly needed. As the cliche goes in the justice system, it is better to let ten criminals go free than to send an innocent man to prison. I do think the OP is going to be okay and find a way to a fulfilling life. But I think he's obviously struggling now and I hope he will find a professional soon, not to get doped up but to talk.
Whaaaaat!? You have over 1,600 posts on here, you're obviously doing something right. Kidding aside, I'm bipolar and manic depressive, at one point I was taking about 6 or 7 pills a day. Although it didn't have to do with my appearance or how I presented myself to people in public, its always a hard thing to deal with feeling alone, suicide entered my mind a few times last year. Best advice I can give you is find something you enjoy doing, and try and do it as often as possible. For me it's playing poker, I love it and it takes my mind off of anything and everything. I also find working a lot helps too because it keeps you busy. Just find something to keep your mind off the troubles that when you look at it, aren't that big a deal and you should feel much better.
I agree with a couple of the suggestions in the thread. Exercise. Find some form of exercise you enjoy and do it. It would be better if its a team sport because you will have to interact with other people. But even if its just push ups and sit ups while you watch TV it will make you feel much better. Exercise releases endorphins and other chemicals that make you feel better naturally. http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression Also you must find some form of social interaction. I suggest you join some clubs at college. There are 120 different clubs at the University of Waterloo. http://feds.ca/clubs-services-and-societies/clubs-list Go to several of them and find the ones you like. You might want to start with something nerdy like the anime club where you will fit in with other socially awkward people. However don't pigeonhole yourself. After you get comfortable with groups try clubs outside your comfort zone. Like rocketsjudoka was saying, you must overcome your fears. Do it slowly. Its called exposure therapy. http://helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.htm I eventually learned this on my own. I wish I had confronted my fears at your age. I was around 30 by the time I got over all my social anxiety. If you can't figure it out on your own seek professional help. Whatever it takes, get over your fears! Life is too short and it is much better with a good group of friends to share it with.
Hey man, you can always hit me up to hang out and do something stupid! Also, I think it helps to look at this thread: http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?p=5598828 and I will repost some of what I said here: Three things: - Get comfortable with the fact that the responsibilities and energy required to "upkeep" life are substantial. I would also argue that it's more than previous generations. Our goals aren't as clear even though and because we're given so many advantages. We're removed and strangely dehumanized by the internet, globalization and a huge population. We're hit with more information and change than ever. Get comfortable in accepting it as a part of life. - Just go out and do things. New things over and over. It doesn't matter what; start a business, be a truck driver, write a book, help some orphans. Failure is great, as long as you're experiencing and hitting your face on something. Eventually you'll find what you really love and it'll be that breath of fresh air you've been waiting for. Sitting in a room, never creating confidence and second-guessing those experiences is just painful. - Realize you and every single thing is really so inconsequential and small in the grand scheme of things. Shed those expectations. Some people have posters with lions or elephants or whatever to motivate them. I suggest this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wupToqz1e2g . Hope it makes you feel a little lighter.
there comes a point where the benefits of meds far outweigh the cons. living a life you feel not worth living vs, living life and being able to cope with it. They are essentially created for these things. Whether the stimulus is something that can be fixed swiftly with therapy is a diff question. The problem with SA is that at post 16-17 a person's brain is already developed to the point that its core won't change much. Meds find a way around that into tricking brain rather than changing it. Over time as the situation gets better, one can wean off even.
join a rotaract club. they do a great service for the community and it's a lot of people your age and from different backgrounds. a lot of the members don't speak perfect english either. i think it's a perfect social group for you. everyone is friendly.
ClutchCity3, as many have advised, I sincerely hope you avail yourself of some counseling help at your university. The change from home to college life can add an awful lot of additional anxiety and isolation. On the beneficial side, with college, it is a new start and you will not be dealing with the rigid social groupings of high school. Be sure to check out any social groups at your new school. You'd be amazed at how many people feel exactly as you do.
The key is to not care what people think about what you say, now , not saying just be yourself. People pick up on people being genuine, and they want to come around. You can trust that.
