If you have the chance to help a friend save his family/marriage, you do it. Don't know about you, but if my friend got a divorce and ended up having a dreadful life, I'd feel guilty as **** for not at least TRYING to help him.
What, do you want a cookie? Spoiler <iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LaPHPQt91w8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Yes it is, one I agree with but that is my view and yours, doesn't mean it is his. Me either, but I think the guy probably knows exactly what he is doing already. I am just disassociating myself from my views....and speaking from experience, I have had at least 3 interventions with friends, not one of them worked.....eventually the dude wised up, but he knew going in what he was doing, same as this guy. DD
Apologies, for not updating sooner, as I did not return home until 2:00 AM, due to a private party I committed to attending. Anyhow, I am happy to report that he is now willing to compromise on scaling back the training. I believe two of my points particularly hit the homefont. 1. The thought of another man raising his two youngest kids. 2. The quality of the dating pool available to him as a man in his 50's. He now realizes what he has, and how much there is to lose, and how little he stands to gain by continuing down that path. He texted his wife to join us at the end of the meal, and were pleasant to one another. I left them alone, and they were able to start a dialog, and he ended up staying the night with his family. This morning, he sent me a text message, that simply read, "Morgan and I send our thanks". Only time will tell if there will be a happy ending, but the power of my persuasion wins the day once again.
Outstanding. Post. Seriously. Believe me when I say there are LOTS of things I do not want to do because I would rather do things for myself. Yet, when you decide to have a family and specifically kids, you have got to learn that yourself comes last. If you can't accept that, then don't do the world a disservice and conceive. Children raised like that don't deserve to live like that.
I'm late to all this, the efforts have already been put in by the OP. Adding in my 1 cent Remember that people are old WAAAAY longer than they are young. Old is the NORM in life, not the rare. Young is great, but no sense holding onto something so short lived.
They may LOOK FINE. Though I think these days the standard of whats considered "fine" is lessening. You can look okay compared to more than half the country the product of divorced couples or single mothers. In a country where prescription drug use is way increasing. Of course not every situation is the same. And it depends on the age of the children, the older the better. If the last kid has graduated high school, the parents can look to live lives for themselves. But abandoning family and kids while they're in grade school, thats rough. But I'm not a parent anyway :grin: So until you walk a mile and run a triathlon in a man's shoes...
I told him some benefits of being old in the fried chicken (yes, the fried chicken) thread. My guess is that he is insecure about getting old, probably already developing a paunch in his gut and losing his hair.
Well I hope things work out for this guy and his family and props to you Raj for being a good friend and letting him know. That said I understand where this guy is coming from and while I hope things work out for him it wouldn't surprise me if this does end up in a divorce. As many of you know I used to be a fairly serious competitor in martial arts and at one point was training quite a bit. My GF at the time used to describe herself as a "Judo Widow." Keep in mind I was at most winning state competitions and not anywhere close to Olympic level but stuff like martial arts and triathalons are often more about OCD than they are about ambition. You do them not so much about the thought of winning, winning is great of course, but because you feel you have to do them. For me at the height of my competitive career if I didn't train for two days I would literally have trouble functioning in my daily life. It was just something I needed to do no matter if I was in pain or if I came in last at a tournament. What did things in for me was injuries but even with two separated shoulders and injuries to every major joint in my body I still fight the urge to go out and train very hard and compete. I understand what people are saying about the importance of family and the need to make priorities but having been there and knowing many people who are there I wouldn't be surprised if this guy if this guy feels he can't stop training. Its a compulsion that he can't help even if he knows better. Sadly it might take divorce and / or injury to make him dial back his training.
Your guess is only as good as your ability to point out that you are old...Look bro , these are jokes..I dont mean them personally(most of the time) because contrary to popular belief, I DONT KNOW YOU!!!! ...I love and respect my elders BUT there is no way in hell I would let some of yall use the fact that Im a "newbie" dictate how I view things...My mom taught me better or worser(??) than that....The only thing Im insecure about is my insecurites about the insecurities I insecure.....Enough Bobrek, Ive moved up a level to Dr. of Dunk...Youre not even on my comedic radar anymore... Peace be with you and your family... I might even send you to one of my shows one day...(just dont sit in the front row) You make too easy a target!!!!
When you make the decision to get married and have kids you have made a commitment as a man. If you wanted to commit your life to triathilons you should make that decision prior to getting married and having kids.
Always addding skeptisim - I'm not sure what intervention approach the OP did. But I don't think that original approach suggested was good. Seemed kinda "reality show'esqe" having all kinds of people present where you can see live reactions. Too melodramatic for what I'd personally do. The OP said he felt he contributed (which I dont think he did, its all his buddys' fault) so naturally he feels compelled to fix it. He said "the power of my persuasion wins the day once again". But was he really THAT influential in anything where it required the level of emotional involvement? The OP makes AND breaks married couples? As long as it works out though is what matters. And that its sincere. And that the guy WAS that really extreme. Thats how I view it. People are calculating the available free time the guy has with family and seeing he can squeeze in barely enough. Though I think within that free time he's not training, he's probably STILL using a lot of it on setting up his training regime, getting his shakes and power bars ready, getting his clothes and training gear set up, inspecting his bike, etc. I don't think he's just easily decompressing and kicking back after he trains, its round the clock involvement.
