8 x 7 = 56, not 54 The 40hr workweek is a myth. Most people work more than that if they're salary. Even if not then time gets eaten up before/after by a commute and other little things. Take out an hour of that '6.2 hrs' just for the 3 S's and other bodily functions.
No abuse, addiction or even adultery, I honestly think they should just go to couple's therapy. It kind of seems like wifey should be able to handle this in house without ganging up on him.
Family counseling might be a good idea if the kids are having the same problems with the guy. More people airing grievances but they aren't strangers/ people whom this doesn't concern.
MadMax, you may feel that he should cut back the training, and spend more time with his family... and the fact that you feel that way is why I would hazzard a guess you are probably a good husband and father.... however you cannot FORCE someone to be that way. The man apparently has decided he would rather train, even if it harms his marriage and family life. Obviously, he wasn't fulfilled or happy before, based on a radical change he made, and I am SURE he knows the consequences. So what to do?? Guilt him? Force him to change??? That won't work.... he will be miserable and his family as a result will be miserable. Is it fair to his wife and kids? No, but what is really fair... it is the reality... Maybe it is a mid-life crisis.... maybe he is just happier now, and he just cannot or is not willing to give up his passion for his family... regardless, it is what it is... And to the people saying he will regret it.... maybe, maybe not... maybe he isn't in love with his wife and will fall for another, maybe he doesn't want to raise children..... I have known 65 year old singles that are happy being alone. To each their own..
Talked to a friend who did triathlons for years. He said that relationship strains due to the ironman level stuff are common. It's a big time commitment that most marriages have trouble absorbing. I still believe that they could work it out if both are willing. Your friend would have to cut any other superfluous activities out. Counseling is a must if it's come to divorce. And I still believe there are security/confidence issues with the wife.
Why doesn't she just train with him, that would be an extra 21 hours per week with him if they trained 3 hours per day. Hell, she would probably be spending more time with him than before he started training.
Am I the only one that thinks his OLDEST SON knows a lil too much info? Rocket River I cannot imagine having that convo with either parent
I'm not trying to force anyone to do anything. but spare me the whole existential, "what is fair?" crap. let your yes be yes and your no be no. made a commitment to someone? keep it. have kids? be a father. we all have to man up at some point. a little late to be deciding you don't want to raise kids when ya already got 'em.
It is an enormous commitment to train 3 hours a day. The question can of course be turned around to say, why can't he be with his family those three hours a day? Why can't he do what she wants those 3 hours a day?
If he gives this up . . . . [no syngery] I think there will be more of a rift. Also . . in 3 years after it. . then they will be getting a divorce because he just lazy and getting too fat All he does is stay around the house. . . blah blah blah Rocket RIver
Yes, clearly there is no way to avoid unsupervised children when both parents are out of the house. What about training an hour a day? Do the first (or last) hour together, and that is an hour more together per day. Agree to that and to do an hour a day of something she wants to do together. There are certainly ways to work something out that involve neither the guy giving up his Iron Man dreams nor divorce. It is just intellectually lazy to think those are the only options.
seems to me like he was already unhappy and doing anything he could to get out of the house/ have something else to concentrate on. he definitely has some sort of unresolved issue.
Not being in their shoes and not knowing near enough details to comment about their marital status, I have no idea what they need to do to stay together. I would infer that it is more than his incessant training that is causing the breakup. It appears that the guy's iron man dreams involve obsessive training so if he's not willing to give that up AND that is the sole cause of their marital friction, then their is not much that can be done.
