I don't know if it's that simple. If he's working 8-5, he might be training 5-9/10pm, or he might get up early before work and train, in which case he'd have to go to bed very early. Either way, he's not getting 6 hours a day with his family during the wee (more like 2 or 3 here and there). It might average that if you include weekends, but I imagine that with kids it takes a toll on his wife with him not being there during the week, and that could effect their relationship on the weekends too.
I'm sure you guys are right. I was just speculating, throwing the numbers out there. It's just how my nerdy ass mind tends to look at problems like this.
yeah, it's easy to say 40 hours a week for your job if you don't take into account commute, lunch, getting ready for the day, etc. I may work 40-45 hours a week, but when I get up to get ready at 6, leave the house at 6:30 and get home around 5, that's 55 hours a week.
Exactly, I have about 90 minutes free between when my first job ends and my second job begins, but when you factor in commute and preparation, it becomes much less than that (more like 30, really)... in addition to the fact that most things you're tasked with doing as a family man (or relationship man) may require consecutive hours of attention and not just random, sporadic free time. So adding it all up like a math equation isn't true to the spirit of the problem.
After discussing this Karen (my common law wife), we are going to stage an intervention with all of his friends present, including Morgan Fairchild. This will be my first intervention, so kindly wish me some luck.
Wow, that sounds like it would humiliate and embarrass him. You might want to go one on one with him first?
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Look nothing wrong with having an intervention, I have been on 3 or 4, none of which worked, as the guy just chose to do his thing..... My point is that is what this guy is doing too, he has gotten his selfish on...and is probably happy doing it. My guess, and that is all any of us can do here, is that he moved on in that relationship a long time ago, and this is what he will choose to do, maybe he feels his kids are grown and it is time for some "Me" time.... DD
Jumping straight to intervention is a little much, imagine having your personal problems dragged out in front of your friends and extended family all in one fell-swoop, with little warning... that would likely end up with a negative reaction if it were me.
Perhaps I should warn him, maybe give the incentive to opt out, if he is willing to come to the table with his wife.
No offense to the OP, but it seems like you are a much better friend to your buddy's wife than your buddy. Sure you can notice she is attractive and that she treats him well when you are around, but it doesn't seem like you are giving your own friend credit that maybe the relationship isn't all roses and candy when you aren't around. You are finding out about your buddy's sex life through third party sources, frankly I wouldn't want a "buddy" to be quite so zealous in "looking out for my best interests". (Course I realize with "couple friends" its pretty common to actually grow fond of the friends spouse or girlfriend and like them as well or better than your original friend). I do share your belief that family comes first and don't make a distinction between workoholism, World of Warcraft or training for a triathlon I genuinely think your heart is in the right place but participating in an "intervention" without talking to your friend first is going to ruin your friendship and probably won't earn you as many brownie points with "Morgan Fairchild" as you might think.
exactly. I'd be more pissed that other people are sticking their nose into my business. The best approach is have a one on one conversation with him about the situation.
