It seems like every day at work I open the door for a woman, let a woman on the elevator before me, let a woman on the bus before me, and other chivalrous acts that I was pretty much brought up to do since I was a kid. And every day, said woman doesn’t even acknowledge it. Not even a ‘thank you’. In fact, in most cases, they are too busy babbling on a cellphone to even look at you as they walk right past you holding the door for them. So this morning, I decided I’m not going to do it anymore. I opened the first set of double doors for a woman behind me, and as usual, she didn’t even LOOK at me, much less say thank you. So when I got to the second set of doors, I just barely opened them and slipped in without holding them for her. I think I heard her tell whoever she was talking to on the phone that the guy in front of her must be in a hurry. I smiled to myself and thought “damn right I’m in a hurry. SUCK IT.” I don’t know if it’s just women in the workplace, but women today seem to expect chivalry instead of appreciate it. Well, from now on, they ain’t getting it from me. At least not at work.
That's what SHE said! But, seriously... I know what you mean. You probably work with shallow, egotistical, selfish women. I, on the other hand, don't. I've been here for such a long time that even after 15 years of seeing people not even say a peep like "Good Morning" or opening doors for you, I still do it. My point is that you, ima_drummer2k, shouldn't stop being a gentleman just because they are b*tches. I would suggest try making either eye contact or acknowledge that you will do this for them BEFORE you do it, and if they make a nice gesture back, they will be more than glad you do this for them. If that doesn't happen, you know they won't thank you. Nonetheless, you should still do it for everyone. Continue being a gentleman, sir. Don't let other people change YOU for the worse. Chivalry isn't dead.
maybe you just happen to work with a bunch of biotches. "Chivalry is dead...and women killed it" -Dave Chappelle
Do you look them in the eye, smile, say "Good morning"? I do, and it forces them to acknowledge the act of chivalry.
I find the opposite in my building. Women seem almost surprised when I open the door or display mere common courtesy. I had two elderly women come up to me and thank me for teaching my son manners when they saw that I had him get up and offer his seat to a lady who had just entered the train. They said it is rare that a man will get up and offer his seat on a crowded train or bus.
That's like the people you let over or cut in while your driving and no acknowledgement... I agree, some people, men or women have not manners...just a courtesy/obligatory thank you would be nice.. I think most are leary of men opening doors, etc as they think we're just looking at their azz...which I am, but c'mon...
THIS. Spoiled, spoiled rotten ('Western' countries in general). It's why the Ladder Theory works so well with them. Not buying into the entitled crap draws them like flies to sh!te. I swore after my last relationship with a 'modern' city girl that my next would be with a woman from Eastern Europe or Asia...or a country girl with old-fashioned values. I married a girl that grew up in a town in Indiana with less than 5k people, about to celebrate my 7th anniversary. ALSO: This goes back to my thread several years back about people being rude and basic manners going by the wayside. Like when you say 'excuse me' or 'thank you' and people say 'uh-huh' like they're doing you a favor.
I like to hold doors for everybody, more for woman of course but I try to do it for men (in this case, at least hold it to a point where it won't close in their faces). I would do what you did if it were always about the same women who do not appreciate it, they want equality but expect or demand to have this type of privileges too. I haven't given it much though of how it is in the States, but here woman show to have less manners while driving, it's like they p***y-block themselves, unless uneducated, men don't ****-block themselves while driving.
Woman: "You don't have to open a door for me just because I am a lady" Man: "I didn't. I opened it because I am a gentleman."
Older women acknowledge me more when I do these types of things while younger ones expect it, like others have said. I really don't let it effect me, keep doing it and when someone says thank you...well nod and appreciate the gesture. If they don't then just ignore and treat them as if they aren't even there.
Yes, but I also place a heap of blame on the baby-boomer generations that contorted feminism into a weapon, and then applied/institutionalized it without any sort of guiding principles. The fallout is a society of men and women raised to not understand how to work together, who blame each other and themselves for their differences instead of working to utilize them to their advantage. Thus the divorce rate and the backlash of men who are not interested in marriage.
I lent this girl my textbook once in class years ago. She said thanks when she gave it back at the end of class and I said "my pleasure" because I've never said it before in my life as a response. She gave me this weird look.
I hold doors for everyone. Most of the time I get thanked. I thank anyone who opens a door/holds an elevator for me, both men and women do it. In short, there are good apples and bad apples. Don't just assume all women are b****y and ungrateful.
You are probably right. (Good LORD, I just told SwoLy he was right about something...) If someone doesn't acknowledge the act, I will (sarcastically) say "you're welcome!" Half the time she doesn't even get the hint. I may try your approach. It's funny, this happens every day on my park and ride bus. Guys always offer their seats to the women when it's crowded and they alway acknowledge it. Maybe there is hope after all. When I was a kid, my dad used to rip me a new one if I didn't open the door for a woman - even my sisters, which was particularly painful. To this day, I still feel like I'm going to get "the look" from him when I don't do it.
That's weird. I do good deeds for women/seniors all the time. Do you smile and make eye contact during said chivalry?
Maybe you had a creepy expression like you were about to look through the book for any loose hairs she may have left behind.
ima, if I am with my family or my coworkers, and I do a random couteous act (open a door for someone, pick something up they've dropped), and they don't thank me, I look at whoever is with me and say the same thing and ask "You're welcome?" sarcastically and somewhat under my breath like you do, hoping the person who didn't thank me will hear me. :grin: I get a head shake or giggle from whoever is with me. It works. Oh, yeah, and about the advice... "uh, YOU'RE WELCOME!" I hope you do it for EVERYONE, even your enemies. Are you saying you don't do it for any other group? If you're not doing this, you should.
