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Men do you pay for everything in your relationship/marriage?

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by TheRealist137, Feb 6, 2026 at 9:47 AM.

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  1. TheRealist137

    TheRealist137 Member

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    Just curious as I was dating this girl for a while who wanted a provider. She would not pay for anything and pretty much saw her presence and beauty as her contribution. I saw that as a red flag and ended it. She'd say things like "it takes effort to look this pretty" and said I made a lot more money than her to justify her POV.

    It's fine for me to pay majority of the expenses but a little reciprocity would be nice. Such as I pay for dinner so she gets lunch, stuff like that. Never ever happened with her.
     
    #1 TheRealist137, Feb 6, 2026 at 9:47 AM
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  2. clos4life

    clos4life Member

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    Someone with the right attitude will get everything paid for. What you just stated is a woman you run away from before she takes half of everything you own and earn, most likely with her having preemptively planned how to take your stuff on purpose.
     
    #2 clos4life, Feb 6, 2026 at 9:52 AM
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  3. donkeypunch

    donkeypunch Member

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    #3 donkeypunch, Feb 6, 2026 at 10:06 AM
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  4. Ubiquitin

    Ubiquitin Member
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    Sounds like an escort. Escort her out the door.
     
    #4 Ubiquitin, Feb 6, 2026 at 10:09 AM
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  5. No Worries

    No Worries Wensleydale Only Fan
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    In this day and age, a woman without a job or at least some work history is a woman not to marry. Bang her like a screen door in a hurricane, but do not marry.
     
    #5 No Worries, Feb 6, 2026 at 10:24 AM
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  6. ROCKSS

    ROCKSS Member

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    I typically pay at first, but then it's nice to have her offer once we get comfortable. Same thing for trips, last trip with my GF, I paid for the resort and she bought the airline tickets and we took turns tipping. If someone expected me to pay 100% of the time that is a huge red flag
     
    #6 ROCKSS, Feb 6, 2026 at 10:40 AM
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  7. TheRealist137

    TheRealist137 Member

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    Thing is, she had a job and made money, she even was doing a part time MBA. Yet still didn't want to pay or offer to pay at any point. She also expected gifts and constantly suggested high end dining.
     
    #7 TheRealist137, Feb 6, 2026 at 10:41 AM
  8. No Worries

    No Worries Wensleydale Only Fan
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    It sounds like she is more "me" than "we". That might not end well, in a marriage.

    As an aside, even if she were committed to lifetime career, after the first child there is a nonzero chance that some switch goes off in her head and she wants to become a stay at home home. She might understand this instinctually and want a partner who can provide.
     
    #8 No Worries, Feb 6, 2026 at 11:40 AM
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  9. clos4life

    clos4life Member

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    Run. Away. Now.
     
    #9 clos4life, Feb 6, 2026 at 12:17 PM
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  10. TheRealist137

    TheRealist137 Member

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    An example of "me not we"

    We were in the car and I was getting hot cause there was the heater on and i had a jacket on. I asked her hey do you mind turning down/off the heater I am getting hot, she literally said and I quote: "the heater is for me but you can take your jacket off", I was driving, what a bad response!
     
    #10 TheRealist137, Feb 6, 2026 at 12:26 PM
  11. Space Ghost

    Space Ghost Member

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    lol part time MBA? that was your clue
    Seems like you were made for each other. She is right. Take your jacket off.
     
    #11 Space Ghost, Feb 6, 2026 at 1:28 PM
  12. Mango

    Mango Member

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    There are songs about those kind of women.



     
    #12 Mango, Feb 6, 2026 at 1:42 PM
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  13. The Captain

    The Captain ...and I'm all out of bubblegum

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    I'm a generous and somewhat old fashioned guy and am glad to pay for people. But expecting it because you're a girl is do-not-want territory. She's never going to be happy.
     
    #13 The Captain, Feb 6, 2026 at 2:09 PM
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  14. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Member

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    I'm old school so I paid almost 100% of the time back in my dating days. But I never dated anyone as superficial as the girl you're describing. I made it a point not to.

    If you don't feel good about paying all the time, you should probably move on and find someone who makes you want to pay all the time.
     
    #14 ima_drummer2k, Feb 6, 2026 at 2:31 PM
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  15. The Captain

    The Captain ...and I'm all out of bubblegum

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    Was she addicted to kissy-lip selfies and have birthday weeks/months?
     
    #15 The Captain, Feb 6, 2026 at 2:44 PM
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  16. DonkeyMagic

    DonkeyMagic Member
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    Married men always pay for everything…one way or another.
     
    #16 DonkeyMagic, Feb 6, 2026 at 9:12 PM
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  17. A_3PO

    A_3PO Member

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    These cartoons still exist?
     
    #17 A_3PO, Feb 6, 2026 at 11:39 PM
  18. ThatBoyNick

    ThatBoyNick Member

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    #18 ThatBoyNick, Feb 7, 2026 at 12:37 AM
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  19. peleincubus

    peleincubus Member

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    There is an issue with getting a part-time MBA and working during the process? That's what i did and now have an actual MBA after said process.
     
    #19 peleincubus, Feb 7, 2026 at 8:42 AM
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  20. LosPollosHermanos

    LosPollosHermanos Clutch Crew
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    I’m not trying to flex here, I’m married and happy. Probably been on 500-1000 dates when I was single. As other people have said, what you cited has nothing to do with paying for everything but the character of the person. You need to run or keep it very casual without long term commitments to this person. It never ends well.
     
    #20 LosPollosHermanos, Feb 7, 2026 at 9:53 AM
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