I just had a huge fight with my wife over this. For context, our oldest son is starting first grade, and one of the neighbor kids heard me going outside to take out the trash this morning and asked if he could come out and play. So I said sure, and send my kid on his way. Well per my wife, I committed the gravest of sins by not confirming with the other parent that the two kids could play and that I should have watched him 'in case he had an emergency'. I told her that was ludicrous and was contributing to our kids never developing a sense of independence. Then the fight boiled over into when is it acceptable for kids to be outside on their own, and I am firmly in the free range camp while my wife like many other millennials mothers are in the "the outside is dangerous and kids should never be unsupervised" camp. We agreed that the kids should not go into other people yards uninvited, but we still disagreed with what constitutes an invitation. In my mind, if my kids invite another kid over to play outside that's as good of an invitation if it came from us parents or vice versa for other families. But my wife said I was socially unaware and that's not how it works. I told her I would not swayed from my beliefs on this, and left it at that. Either way: Whatever happened to 'go outside and play'? When I grew up we were allowed to play on our own starting around preschool age, and now I see too many elementary school aged kids who are always indoors (probably by choice). What's your philosophy? https://www.cnn.com/2013/03/22/living/let-children-play-outside/index.html
There is no culture of kids playing outside anymore... so the only kids playing outside are the perpetually unsupervised and undisciplined "bad kids". There aren't any older kids that look out for the young ones, and that was important as the "bad kids" have always been there. And with the death of the outside culture came the Karens and police to kill any chance at rebirth. Kids are chased out of parks and yards and vacant lots and many places there is no where for them to go. Broad strokes, not universal, etc.... but this is what I've seen as trending.
My kids knew when to come back home when they were younger, same as I did, when those street lights turn on you know where you need to be. For me personally if I wasn't back at that time I'd get a beating I would never forget from the so called silent generation but hey some people call me a boomer at heart. Are you a millennial or just your wife?
Judging by my friends with kids, the amount of leeway and outdoors vs indoors activity is totally dependent on the parents. Get a kid outside, with you, doing whatever, at an early age, and they will find something they love about it. Kids are fascinated with nature, it's in their nature. Keep them inside and overprotect them...and, well As a kid, I remember my parents knowing our neighbors and our school friends' parents (as far as sleepovers and such), and so there were boundaries like "don't go in that house", "play in the neighborhood around here but don't cross that street", "look for cars", etc... You're in the right on this one, in my opinion. To allay your wife's fears you could have knocked on the neighbor kid's door and told his parents what was going on, that way there's multiple people checking on them. Don't hover, but take them some lemonade or something every once in a while. Find things to do where you can directly supervise them, if need be. This is coming from a free-range kid (I hate that term, but I can't think of a simpler, better one) who has no kids, so take it for what it's worth. I recognize that certain things have changed since then, but has it really changed all that much?
Just depends on the youngness and safeness of the neighborhood. Not as common as they use to be for sure, more city less interactions.
We live in an incredibly safe, affluent neighborhood. All the parents know each other and the kids know each other but independent play is non-existent. My kids talks about having play dates with his fellow private school classmate down the street. I am like: "you're too old for playdates. you can just go out and play". But that falls like a lead balloon.
I'm on team @Ubiquitin on this one, unless it's south side Chicago or Oakland or a similar neighborhood. When I was a kid, we played football (soccer) on the street all day, and ran around outside and built little houses in the forest, and little "dams" after it rained, etc. All totally unsupervised.
I think 1st grade is a little young to be unsupervised outdoors. That's age 6-7. Maybe another year and I'll be comfortable with it. But if it's indoors or in an enclosed yard, sure, that's fine.
Somebody mentioned "older kids that look out for the younger kids" earlier...that was absolutely what I remember, and it was cool to eventually be *that* older kid.
We all have enclosed yards with swingsets, sports equipment, and everything else a kid could have wanted. They're not playing on or near a major street. He knows our address, our home phone, and he has access via the smart lock. He can read and write. It was pulling teeth to get him to figure out how to ride a bike, but he can do that and he can swim too. He would be fine on his own within a half mile radius as far as I am concerned.
I know acred manufactured neighborhoods are really good for kids. My best childhood was when I lived in the trailer park. If I wasn't at the school bus stop then my friend would be knocking on my window and we spend the day playing dreamcast video games. My kids now have each other and sports to keep them occupied.
I think we are outside more than any other young family in our neighborhood. But, the majority of the time, an adult is out there too. Kids are 7, 4, and 2. If the 7 year old were out by herself I'm not too worried. But if the 4 and/or 2 year old are out there then they have to be supervised. We live in a great area but I'm a corner lot next to a busy-ish street. That's the biggest issue. But when my 7 y/o turns 8 later this year I told her she will be given more freedom. I know at some point she needs to be more on her own, and for whatever reason 8 seemed like a good age to start. One issue right now is this god damned heat. This isn't normal. I don't really want my kids to run around all day in this. Another issue, as I mentioned above, we are out more than anyone else. So there aren't any kids outside to play with much of the time. The parks don't get busy until like 8pm, which is around their bedtime. So it's rare that we're out at that time.
Training wheels came off just before turning 5 for the oldest. My middle child will likely be just after 5. But we know some kids who are 7 and still need training wheels. I think the age range where it usually happens is 3-7, but none of my kids have been coordinated enough to do it at 3.
Oh hell no. These are the days we'd be at the neighborhood pool back then, after running around in the morning for a bit. I'm assuming that's still the same, I just have no recollection of when those things happened (or when I could roller skate without holding someone's hand, etc). I learned to drive at 13, if that helps your parenting timeline at all.
We're in a pretty similar situation, except we're not in the best neighborhood, I suppose (Spring Branch, older neighborhood). My kids are 9, 6 and 2 and we live on a pretty busy corner (people cut through our neighborhood for quicker access to beltway 8), so we're worried about the cars. Typically we'll go outside with them, but if they're going someone we know, we wouldn't bother them too much. But there's really not hat many kids in the neighborhood that they play with. Honestly, I'm not 100% worried about it either. They play a ton in the backyard, but they're not running the streets. I grew up in a smaller town, so we did that a lot. I think once they're a little older I wouldn't mind it (for some reason for me, I'm thinking 11/12). But they do go out plenty. Just not really latch key type of kids.
