I always find it funny how people talk about toxic masculinity and blame straight men for everything...but then mostly complain about non straight men. I've been told I basically need to 'repent' for being raised male and believing in supposedly toxic values like hard work, personal responsibility, standing up for one's self (both verbally and physically) etc. The world is so topsy turvy now...part of me thinks I'd fare better outside of the US where there's more emphasis on traditional values.
I don't know why, and I don't mean this as an insult, but I always thought you were a kid, younger than 25, surprised to see you are married.
Iran was not on my list for a number of reasons...although funny enough HRT and gender reassignment is free. They're so homophobic that they accidentally became pro-trans. I also don't think I can work in Iran legally, at least if I ever expect to come home. Idk, the moon sounds nice. I can't bother anyone there and vice-versa.
That may have been on my mind when I posted that. fun fact: my friends and I were supposed to go to comic con one year as the Watchmen. I was supposed to go as Laurie Jupiter. Probably some foreshadowing there lol.
32. My wife is an engineer that used to work for BMW, now in chemical. She’s much more handy than me. I sell technology to police officers.
I'm discussing this with a bisexual woman I grew up with who has mostly LGBT friends and I don't think she quite gets it. Before transitioning/coming out, everyone says "oh there's no one right way to be gay/trans/whatever". And then the honeymoon phase ends and everyone gets pissed if you don't tow the party line. It's just as rigid as anti LGBT groups...just the other side of the coin. And I think society is catching on, and that's why backlash is getting worse.
It all depends on what clique you associate with. You have your hyper femme trans girls like Nikita Dragun or Eden the Doll or your super conservative trans girls like Blair White. You just have to find your clique and join it.
That's fair. It doesn't help I have very few LGBT friends outside of the internet, where everything is (ironically) very binary. There's also a lot of dick contests/gatekeeping etc within LGBT groups. Cis lesbians don't like trans people. A lot of gay/lesbian people don't like bisexuals and vice-versa. Everyone is hyper dramatic. I will say the one time I went to a small party hosted by a few LGBT people in May before everyone went away for the summer. Actually had a blast and people were a lot nicer in-person. No one had a problem with me wearing a dress and using she/her pronouns...actually hooked up with some women as well. Then I'll go on a date with a woman who says she's fine with me transitioning if I don't "be trans" in front of her family. Which, uh...isn't how it works. Also a pretty serious red flag to say that on a first date (after asking if I wanted to have kids and get married). People are ****ing weird. I can't tell if weird **** just happens to me or if it happens to everyone and society is incredibly bizarre and I'm the only one who notices this stuff and points it out. I feel like I'm on the Gary Shandling show sometimes. Some of it (with cases like Blair White) may also be a natural growing pain as more and more people come out. Not so much trans people with the current moral panic in red states...but as more and more people decline to identify as straight, you're going to statistically have people like Log Cabin Republicans. Or trans people who aren't Stalinists (don't even get me started...).
I'll also add that people are ****ing idiots and often being an ally means accepting doublespeak. I told my bi friend (mentioned above) that one of my transitioning goals was passing/looking like a hot woman and she got mad and told me that I shouldn't have that as a goal because it wasn't intersectional/not fair to those who can't "pass" or who aren't attractive. Like okay, sure but if transitioning is personal, different for everyone, and based on the person's goals...then you can't also get pissed off when my goals are personal. LGBT people, kind of like rural white people, seem to have that crab mentality. You can only be as good as the worst off person, and if you complain you're being a bigot (or coastal elite). The vocabulary is different, but both sides make the same shitty point. Life is unfair and reminding people of that by being successful is some sort of grave sin.
That is every trans-woman's goal, some of them just can't do it. No one wants to be unattractive. Trans-women want to be perceived as attractive women. Trans-men want to be perceived as attractive men. This might be mind-blowing to some people, but cis people want to be perceived as attractive examples of their gender as well. Being attractive is good confers advantages, so of course people want to be attractive. People also want to be rich, popular, charming, etc. None of that changes because someone is trans or gay or black or autistic or whatever identity they associate with.
See that makes sense to me but some... It's like I told some other trans people I'm transitioning not because I want to be a trans-woman. I'm transitioning because I want to be a woman. Much in the same way I don't like being told I have to be attracted to certain people. Again, that's not everybody I meet and no sexual partner is going to be perfect. But this is the kind of discourse going on within trans groups. This is then compounded by the fact we're a small fraction of the population and the most vocal trans people are people whose methods of communication are so warped by the trans bubble, they can't explain things to the general population. I think, as I've stated many times before as well, we also place a lot of fetishization on victimhood in this country. I'm fairly lucky that I have always had rather feminine features (part of why I grew a beard) but I'm naturally very small by men's standards, I've always had long thick eyelashes, I have a lot of trouble putting on muscle mass and weight. That's not everyone's reality though, of course...but I shouldn't be told to not pursue my own goals because some else can't. Some of that comes with the hyper leftist attitude that everything needs to be perfectly even steven and that competition is bad etc. I also grew up learning that hard work is important and a healthy amount of competition is a good thing (although the corollary that winning isn't everything didn't really stick as much as it probably should of).
