Good post and it sound like you're a very good parent. I agree with kids it should be on a case by case basis. Why I started the other thread in Hangout is because as a coach I don't believe in a one size fits all approach to teaching and whether someone is Autistic or not there are always physical and mental differences. In something like martial arts if you're not careful those differences can dangerous. It's not always easy to tailor teaching approaches to specific individuals and in a large class there's only so much that can be done. In a situation like that I don't think it's wrong to consider what limitations a student may have and if it can have a term that makes it easier as an instructor and for the rest of the class to address.
That's why it's called a spectrum. I have a nephew that was clinically diagnostic as (my terms might be off) high functional autistic. You wouldn't know he's nothing but normal if you aren't around him much. 90% of the time, he learns to hide and be normal, to an extent where he refuses to receive in-class services so he can fit in. But he struggles. He struggles with reading the emotion of others, something that is 2nd nature for his peers. He can't control his own emotion when negative things happen to him (a nose bleed can lead him to hit himself for 5 minutes straight). As he age, he understands more and works extremely hard to accept and hide these "weird" behaviors that he now knows is not the norm. Being diagnosed early was both devastating to his parent and wonderful for the services he has received that has been extremely helpful. He's a straight-A kid, extremely smart, creative, and "weird" but still emotionally behind compared to his peers. He will likely struggle with reading, handling, and expressing emotion for many more years if not forever.
My nephew is definitely on spectrum. Got a masters in Electrical engineering from Texas but always had a hard time reading a room. However, we have a loving family that was always affectionate towards him so he has developed the ability to emotional connect with with people now that he is in his 30's.
