Cannot bring myself to be in a relationship with a single mother. I've had two as FWBs, and honestly it was a perfect situation while it lasted, but eventually they both wanted to become serious, and I just could not do it. I don't think I want my own child, there is just not a chance I could provide for a kid who wasn't mine. It's not a popular opinion amongst my friends, who point to other people they know who are with partners with kids from other relationships. One of the guys is now married to a woman who had 4 kids... from 3 dads. To each there own. Just not for me.
Its good that you are honest with yourself its not for everybody but the older you get it's gonna curtail your choicest haI would just say take every woman on her own merits and don't have a hard and fast "rule".
As the son of a single mother, I can say that people never got serious with my mom because of me and now that I am old I fully support that decision.
I can easily date anyone with older kids. Lil ones would probably not be in my wheelhouse. I recall dating an attorney who was widowed three kids; two of which were 9-12. That's a little too much for me to take on.
My kids are 21 and 19. Right before covid hit I started dating a single mom of a 6 year old. I quarantined with them in Austin through much of 2020. I moved to NM in Feb 2021. We've continued to date long distance but she knows I'm not looking to be a full time father again and if she needs that in her life we'll part as friends. She's a great woman and he's a good kid. We've vacationed together and they're actually visiting my place right now but headed home later this week. Even if she moved up here we'd keep our separate homes and she knows little league games or school band concerts are not in my future. But I don't mind teaching her son how to bait a hook or ride a dirt bike... or how to treat his mom with respect. (something her baby daddy neglected)
I'm just glad I'm not out dating in today's world. It just seems a painful scene to be a part of. Chicks with kids would depend on circumstances. Dudes with t*** would be a no no. Not interested in poop smelling privates.
My wife was a single mother. My mother was a single mother. So to me, it feels offensive that somebody would reject them. Though if you have zero interest in having any kids, that is more understandable. That really isn't very true these days. The average age women start having children is climbing. Many of my female friends from high school & college still haven't had kids and I'm 35 (soon to be 36).
This. Further, once you boil something down to a binary choice, you are walking with blinders. It's like driving a car with only a front and rear window and no mirrors. e.g., You may get where you are going but the drive will be dull and you'll endanger everybody you encounter. Free your mind. There are countless possibilities.
