Which animals can you beat in a fight?

I'm 38 and I'm just trying to wake up in the mornings without back pain.

 

No surprise to anyone that a certain percentage of Americans are out of touch with reality.

I guess if it's life or death:

Easy:

• Rat
• Cat
• Goose

Tough, would have some scars:

• Dogs
• Wolf
• Kangaroo

Maybe, definitely come out hurting:

• Eagle (those talons could kill you fast)
• Cobra (timing)

Longshot, dirty fighting, come out crippled, depending on size:

• Crocodile
• Gorilla

No ****ing way:

• Lion
• Elephant
• Grizzly Bear

 

Key part of question is 'unarmed' meaning you only have your body, not even a rock. Attention to detail isn't a big proponent of many Americans, either.

 

Mayfly after one day.

 

And Monicas.

A fight when sitting on you?

 

Ha! Welcome to middle age, mother****er!

Stretching, exercise with proper posture and proper breathing, good diet, including less booze, are your friends.

 

A bat.

 

Part of the problem with fighting the little animals is getting the little animals to stand their ground and fight back.

From experience, I can't win a fight with a domestic cat, because I can't catch the little ****ers. They're all about hit and run tactics.

 

Out of the entire list, there's no way I'd want to face off with a pissed off gorilla.

 

Kangaroos are like Sayans. They're useless if you grab their tail.

 

Like non.

 

Fun thing about bears is that they don't kill you in a fight, they don't care if you're dead or not, unlike other predators. They'll just start eating you while you're alive.

 

They probably assume they can use their guns.