Only the tip of the iceberg... Report Reveals Jesus Christ May Have Benefited From Father’s Influential Position To Gain High-Powered Role As Lord And Savior NEW HAVEN, CT—In a groundbreaking new report on one of the most revered figures in religious history, top biblical scholars published findings Monday that suggest Jesus Christ may have relied on the influence of His well-connected father, God, to land His powerful role as Lord and Savior to mankind. Examining evidence from the Gospels, as well as recently unearthed ancient Christian and Gnostic texts, researchers at Yale Divinity School concluded that Christ’s close familial relationship to the Creator of Heaven and Earth likely contributed to His meteoric rise from obscure carpenter to high-level divinity, giving Him a leg up over candidates who may have been more qualified for a position within the Holy Trinity. “The selection of Jesus to become the Messiah appears to be a clear-cut case of nepotism,” said noted theologian and report co-author Philip Baxter, who remarked that in first-century Judea, it was widely believed John the Baptist was the frontrunner to sit at the right hand of the Father. “Until the age of 30, Christ’s only employment had been as a laborer with His stepfather’s woodworking business. So we must ask: How does someone with no background in management suddenly get put in charge of a 12-apostle team? And how exactly does a person with no prior experience as a monarch get appointed King of Kings?” “God likes to claim He moves in mysterious ways, but there doesn’t seem to be too much mystery here at all,” Baxter continued. “This looks like blatant favoritism.” The scholars behind the report said revised translations of the Gospel of Luke reveal that during the Annunciation, the archangel Gabriel not only foretold the birth of Jesus but also mentioned to the Virgin Mary that he hoped soon to be promoted to Messiah and to deliver the Jews from bondage. The report states that Gabriel, with centuries of divine service behind him, was justifiably suspicious when he wound up relegated to his dead-end messenger job and the promotion instead went to Jesus, who just happened to be God’s only begotten son.
Or maybe God has a sense of humor? She likes to wind up poor old Pat Robertson just see what fool thing he will do next.
I always thought Moses got a raw deal. All he did was strike at the rock in a moment of rage towards peeps who were acting a fool being ingrates. But later in the sequel we learn that the rock Moses struck was indeed that entitled Jesus dude. That's some Terminator ish! 1,443 years before Jesus was even born. Flash forward to when Jesus was walking the Jerusalem barrios healing the sick on the Sabbath. Only an entitled brat would do that! It all makes sense. (Wait is that article satire?)
