Hello my name is Kevin, how are you? I've come to the conclusion that all of my problems have stemmed from alcoholism. Whether it be my son leaving me my marriage or the fact that I don't know how to communicate with certain individuals . I'm here right now to tell everyone that I have a problem with alcohol. Those that know me should know by my post history.lol I hereby surrender myself to God, and what he has to offer me. I know I'm a good individual inside, but the alcohol has clouded my vision. I know I told you all earlier that I would get back in the strip club Business, but there is no way up from there. You don't survive from that business... you get by through by not dying. I survived that industry once in my life and now I will strive to survive life. The bottom line is...I feel I have a good mind, and I'm living within good spirits, and I love the support you all have given me. I will write more about my journey later . Thanks for listening, Roc
This will sound short and trite but: Exercise. Buy a bike, get a gym membership *close* to your place, start walking, something. Speaking of walking, if you are able, eventually get a dog, it helps with the companionship and motivates for exercise Find a hobby or two, gardening, painting, volunteering, carpentry, whatever you like. Talk to people, don't be a loner. It is hard to be single and social since so many functions involve alcohol. Find good people who can be good influences on you, and vice versa.
For anybody that believes they may have issues with alcohol, I would highly recommend AA. Kevin, I would say to research around the area for nearby AA meetings. Keeping true to what they teach will change your life.
knowing what I've been through in my life since the age of 17.... and the thousands of women strippers i've been involved with. I must say there have been some thrills, but i'm glad/blessed I survived it. The bottom line is I am one tough son of a b****. I will need this attitude to keep my faith, keep my head strong, and keep moving forward. Understand ? Someone save someone save my life tonight!
Hi @Kevin, Being the blunt sumbitch I am, you are looking for community and acceptance. This isn't the perfect place for your needs. I like to think I know a part of many members here, but we have never met in real life. Some of us come and go. We share some funny jokes and pictures as a break from life and maybe some stupid threads to dig up for a nice memory or two. I love Clutchfans enough to stick through the awful Rockets seasons and mind****s. It's nearly been around half of my life. This board is a nice comfort zone, but it isn't the place to meet real people if you aren't meeting faces behind the screen. This board is special, mind you. But it's like one step of many for real contact, and you already know that real contact is more of a dance rather than a planned walk towards a goal on the horizon. What sounds more enriching though, a jog or walk on the treadmill or outdoor track...or a dance where you and your partners have to try hard to make something work? You will fall either way. There is no avoiding falling. You'll get pushed sometimes, or maybe you trip yourself up because you're not a perfect robot. For the former maybe it's your fault or the other's. For the latter, maybe it's your fault...or the other's. But if you can accept or confront blame and learn from it, maybe that's more than enough to move on and allow yourself to take another step forward..left...right...even back. Why beat yourself up if it's something you tried your best or worked to make right? Failure is another word for experience. Experience is another word for Opportunity. As our hearts grow older and tougher, the last line hurts too much when you're afraid of repeating the first one. It feels like **** and sometimes you beat yourself up as weak or a loser. But it's all in your head. The people you're with and the people you'll meet in the future are moving beyond that. If they're with you, they've chosen you because of all the good and even bad things in the past that have made you who you are right now. I wasn't going to say anything about the strip club thing, but I like your new change of heart. Have you ever stayed in contact with the washed up strippers? Maybe they need your strength to move on and build something of their own. Those skills you have aren't just for regulating. You just need to keep your eyes open and if you're religious look to what the world tells you. If you're not listening to God, look for opportunities to leverage your cross functional skills. More than ever, this is a world of unseen pain and manufactured smiles and images. What I've learned though is that if I stretch my heart open for others who are hiding their shame, pains or burdens, it puts some ease to a degree with the heaviness that rests in my own heart. That same heaviness that tugs on the other vices in my life. Take care Kevin. Keep us posted, and moving those damn feet of yours will be infinitely better than moving your hands.
Get a 24 hr membership. Come join me at the one by Richmond and 610 or any other around the area. We can lift and talk hoops and life. That's my offering.
Had no idea of your past life, always knew you as the guy who did the charity work. Either way, I've learned to never judge a book by their cover, or a person by their past. I wouldn't recommend slipping back into your past life, which I'm sure you've heard and probably understand more than anyone. If you slip and fall, do not take it as complete failure. Everyone makes mistakes, the same mistakes even multiple times. This does not define you, what defines you is how many times you can overcome and move forward. Acceptance is the first step, and I mean this in multiple ways, whether it be accepting that you have a problem with alcohol, or accepting that your family situation is what it is and starting your journey to be okay with it. Facing your demons head on and not back peddling will be a huge step in moving forward. A day at a time my friend, can't do it any other way. Be with people close to you for support when and where you can, this journey is not easy to take alone.
Exercise for me is key. It really amazes me how some things in my brain correct themselves if I exercise properly. I tend to be too easy going, eat too poorly, exercise and sleep too little and drink and procrastinate too much. If I am exercising properly it helps me lock it all in. My drinking is down, I can focus at work like I need to, I have been keeping my apartment super clean (as a chronically messy person this is difficult), been volunteering and I am eating really healthy since starting regular exercise. I am about to go below 200 pounds (at 201, down from 225) for the first time since I was about 21. I don't know if it will help with Roc Paint but it has really helped me especially with drinking. I have had my issues with alcohol in the past and have considered AA at times and exercise seemed to put me on the right track. I also started keeping a weekly log of my drinks a while back right on my fridge with a dry erase marker. It helps for when I want to grab a beer out of the fridge after work and my drink count is on the door I have to open to grab the beer.
Best of luck to you. It's not easy judging from people I know who've done it, but don't give up should you have setbacks. Keep going.
Roc, I feel for you. I've been through two divorces, but never had to face alcoholism. Don't do anything you can't undo. Do what you love to do as an individual. See a counselor, find a group. Take up fishing. Just try to keep yourself away from situations that tempt you with the sauce. Stay strong. Like bad gas, this too shall pass.
Bless you for knowing you have a problem and facing that issue head-on. I've never drank, smoked, or done drugs; so I have no idea that kind of addiction and the issues that arise because of it, but I can only imagine how hard it must be. Take into account the relationships you and others have lost because of it and I'm not sure I'd be a strong enough person to deal. I can only second getting a bike or gym membership, it gets you out of the house, and keeps your mind preoccupied as you work on your body.
There are books available and online resources. In my experience AA turns a lot of people off because of the religious aspect. It’s hard to convince them that you aren’t attacking them or bringing it up for selfish reasons. If you are compassionate and they are ready they will be receptive.
AA isn’t for everyone. Some people can gut it out and change. But the first step is understanding you have a problem. A lot of addicts are so deep in the trees they don’t know it’s a forest. So help your friend know there’s an issue.
I question my resolve. This is not a recent discovery . .. so much as a realization that I maybe out of my depth. Getting to admit the problem is proving . .. . difficult. They may say the right things. . . and be ok for a few weeks but then BOOM back in the cups Lovely person sober Insanely irritating and annoying when drunk Rocket River
Sounds more like a binge drinker than a true alcoholic. Still a serious problem if they’re hurting themselves and others, but not a chemical dependency.
@Rocket River Just to add to this. Your friend may already know and feels they are too far gone. They might even already feel completely ashamed of it. People always say the first step is admitting they have a problem and that may be true but there is still a long hard and depending on how far gone the person is, a very painful journey just to get to the next step. If the person is too far gone then they will need medical help because it can be very dangerous and deadly to quit alcohol cold turkey. Also if you are helping the person quit keep in mind that if they end up feeling week or giving in to the pain and gets completely wasted. Don't think it means they really don't want to quit. Think of it like they have a very nasty virus that has to run is course and it was just some of the symptoms flaring up. Don't give up with helping. As someone who has seen the stress that one goes through to help someone fight an scary addiction like alcohol it's almost like it is just as hard for the person helping as it is for the one with the addiction.
