My buddy Ranger Rob got to Yellowstone yesterday on his Western road trip (he's the one who told me about that story). He walked up to the check-in desk and asked with a straight face "So, where can I go around here to pet the animals?" She looked at him with a death glare for about 2 seconds and then they both cracked up. He's at Old Faithful this morning, he texted me his question for the next ranger he sees: "Why can't yall have it erupt on a schedule every hour so people can plan their viewing?" My favorite story of his from his days at Guadalupe River State Park was the lady who frantically waved him down as he was making rounds checking on campsites...she asked him in all seriousness "My kids went tubing down the river a couple of hours ago, how long does it take for them to come back around?" She thought it was like Schlitterbahn. I told him that I hoped he said "Well, they'll be in Canyon Lake day after tomorrow." It's amazing just how ****ing stupid people can be. Then again, it's really not.
Update: So one of the park rangers and ranger rob are swapping stories, guy says "Got one for you; used to work in Juneau, where all the cruise ships would come in. You get off the ship and you're just standing there looking at these massive mountains....so the lady asks me 'how far above sea level are we?'"