I mean, I'm sure you are legit- but you do know you opened yourself up to these types of responses by posting this request on a sports message board, right?
Why is that a sexual deviation? It's not like she asked you to put on a ballerina costume and stand on your tiptoes while she cranked your shaft. She just gets paid to "adjust you to completion," in the infamous words of Saul Goodman.
I just LOLed in the library and 2 people are staring at me. Probably b/c I've done that same thing. Might have been Bailey's, though.
Crap, I screwed up bad. I insulted someone tryna help me. Maybe i will google those sites later today. I'm sure they are clean cut safe sites with beautiful women waiting to give me clean cut platonic massages. No aids or policemen there lol
OF COURSE NOT! Why would a CF breh lead you wrong? We swear by the ClutchFans "brehtherly" code when we sign up for Clutch Fans. I would never lead my Clutch Fan brehs astray.
I want to open a store called 'Rub & Tug' that sells BBQ seasoning, BBQ supplies and fresh raw milk. You can all thank me because you'll be able to honestly tell your wives and girlfriends and boyfriends that you're going to the Rub & Tug and not get in trouble. They'll just be like, "Bring me back some fresh milk, a rennet tablet and some citric acid. I want to make fresh mozzarella." Then you can be like, "That's going to take a while." Then they'll be like, "Take as long as you need." Then you can go get a handy from the namesake place down the street and I'll have your supplies when you're ready. Everybody wins. I get your business, honey boo boo gets fresh mozz, and you get to come home more relaxed than you even thought was possible before. I'm not even going to put a welcome mat out front because there'll be a 'You're Welcome' mat to wipe your feet on instead. I'll start the Indie Go Go page as soon as I finish reading the Burt Steele threads.
