Look At The Spineless Media Coming Crawling Back Y'all!

Spineless media can't even get his stats right, he was 24-15-12, yes, but you reversed the assists and rebounds. What a joke! They should be ridiculed, like, a lot. I know it's a simple mistake, but I think ridicule can be very valuable.

2nd article, that gif is from last year. It's irrelevant now. We've entered the first year of our basketball lord, everything before this will be forgotten by the masses that still think Michael Jordan was the best defensive player in the world as well as offensive. Pick one, MJ homers, because the new offensive great one is here. The only thing you'll find offensive in the future is comparisons of Harden and Jordan when Harden is clearly the more skilled player and a bball lord.

3rd article, words cannot begin to describe what I think of the volumes of words missing from this praise article.

4th article, STFU, Westbrook doesn't have anything close to a beard and they look nothing alike. This is blasphemy, comparing greatness to good stat sheet filling. (just kidding, Westbrook is amazing, just not quite as amazing as our James)

5th article, Calvin Watkins, your words now lift and you are poised to knock a basketball lord off his throne, but it cannot be done until the end of times has come to a conclusion.

6th article, nice use of Hardencentrism, but his move to the point was not simple. The point guard position is the most difficult position in the nba to learn, he mastered it on his first day at the job. Best article of the bunch, but no mention of Harden doing all of this miracle work on the road. -2 pts for that.



Fear the Beard because he will score 40 points a game using his teammate's hands. And when you stop his teammates, your fear will incapacitate you as he scores at will. Now we just have to get the beard to grow an afro large enough to block the vision of the offense. Then the transformation will be complete.

Edit: My apologies if my method for defensive improvement was not clear. I hope this illustrates my concept:

 

In under 17 minutes, I got 31 emails and 15 text messages about where Beard's beard went. I'm feeling a little Jamesy as a result, but rest assured it's still there.

 

Shaqueef managed to poor-pooh Harden's stats, mentioning that D'Antoni's system is "great for guards, it made an MVP of Steve Nash twice", or some such thing; this naturally negates the fact that the guard in question must have exceptional talent and have the personnel around him who can knock down a shot.

I do believe if James Harden saved a child from drowning in a well the talking heads at ESPN and TNT would be like, "Well, what did you expect him to do? He probably thought security cameras would catch him not helping, so he 'did the right thing'." (Okay, I'm exaggerating here. SLIGHTLY. Ernie Johnson would step in: "Come on, now, Kenny, I mean, he did save the kid....")

 

Commentator Kenny = Spineless

 

I dunno man. They didn't crawl back last time. They slithered away.