Wtf else you want us to talk about? Half these threads are filled with negative ****ing p*****s who would prefer a draft pick over the playoffs These motha ****ers disgust me. I joined here so I would have a place to escape and share all my ignorant, biased, drunk fandom and people are talking about tanking for a pick. Honestly anyone who speaks of taking for a pick should be banned until after playoffs In honor of Kobes retirement, "half y'all gone soft"
Play this BEFORE clicking on the spoiler: <iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vLqKSv1F42A" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Spoiler Morey knows what he needs to complete the demolition of the Warriors. "Operation Pursuit is in motion." says Morey in a clumsy Chinese accent, dressed in traditional Chinese attire with a fake thin moustache while puffing an opium pipe. The clean-shaven Chairman of a major Chinese sports apparel corporation plays with the buttons of his Armani suit. "Why are you dressed this way in Downtown Shanghai?" Nevertheless, the wheels were in motion as far back as October 9, 2014. Morey had prophesized the events leading up to April 2016. You don't want to let the Warriors learn anything about our secret weapons, so you need a decoy. Ty Lawson, you ****ing genius. Your friendship to Harden means so much to you that you get yourself traded to the Rockets - which looks suspicious until you actually give up $12m in your final season to really really sell it. Confuse the hell out of the Warriors by not showing anything at all on the court, when in fact you had already agreed to a deal with Morey and Larry Bird - who has ties to the Celtics, Morey's ex employer - that he would be released midway through the season, rendering the Warriors' scouting useless. Meanwhile, Michael Beasley and Andrew Goudelock have quietly and inconspicuously signed deals in China awaiting a call on a cell phone they received by courier bearing their names. It came with a mysterious note that read: "It's all about the opium baby." May 14, 2014. At a strip club in Detroit, a man resembling Ron Jeremy with sun glasses is getting a lap dance from a skinny meth addict. An unusually tall waiter asks the man if he wants anything. "Victory." says Stan Van Gundy as he snorts an 11th line of dream-grade cocaine. The waiter smirks and puts an envelope on the table. He fumbles the envelope, revealing a superman crest stamped on the other side. Van Gundy sighs and shakes his head before opening the envelope. It's a contract to coach the Detroit Pistons under two conditions - he must outright release Josh Smith from his contract and... acquire D-Mo the following season and rescind the trade. "This is MADNESS, Josh Smith has tens of millions left on his contract... and who the hell is D-Mo?" yells a coked up Van Gundy. "Jeff knows all." mutters as the waiter walks away, a red cape tucked messily into his pants. It doesn't end there, friend. D-Mo goes to Toronto that summer to speak to his idol Luis Scola, where they have a fierce argument in the pouring rain at night in the woods. "DO IT!" D-Mo yelled as his voice echoed through the Canadian forest. Thunder erupts in the sky as Scola fakes to the right, before spinning back around to crush D-Mo's spine with a blow that was heard all over North America and resembled the howl of an angry wolf. The end is near. McHale was left out of the loop, and becomes a victim of the master plan. Josh Smith acquires critical intel from his otherwise illogical stint with the Clippers. Months were spent discussing strategy with Paul Pierce, still bitter from the Warriors turning down a trade sending Harrison Barnes to the Celtics in exchange for him and now obsessed with bringing the Warriors down. A California native himself, he infiltrated the Warriors' network to join the secret mutiny. Beasley and Goudelock finally hear the phone ring. The sound of ping pong and heavy breathing is distracting, but they understand that there is a private jet waiting for them at the airport. They are flown to Houston, where they sign their minimum contracts. It's not about the money. The pursuit is bigger than any dollar figure. This is where the acting counts. JB loses his temper at a presser, disgusted with the officiating. Ty Lawson can't play basketball anymore. D-Mo doesn't understand why the trade was rescinded and gets back to work immediately. The Warriors have not seen vintage D-Mo for years. Beasley's acting skills leave a lot to be desired as he fits too seamlessly into the Rockets on court strategy. JB benches him. Corey Brewer is the symbol of Rockets' alleged dysfunction. A chaotic wreck, opposing scouts can't take their eyes off him, and can't stop asking each other why the Rockets still play him. Daryl Morey's performance is being reviewed. The organization is in shambles, almost seducing the Warriors into letting their guard down. Perfect. Josh Smith shows sparks of a resurgence. Dwight Howard suddenly runs faster, jumps higher, dunks harder. Beasley is calm and collected as always. Harden puts some spice in that Curry he's cooking. Jason Terry starts nailing 3's again. Patrick Beverley remembers how to play defense. D-Mo shakes off the rust, his moves looking more and more polished by the day. Not a word is whispered about the Warriors. April 13, 2016. The Rockets have crushed the Kings with a 70 point win, the biggest margin of victory in the shot clock era. Les Alexander awaits the players in the locker room, where they can finally cut the act and allow themselves to laugh uncontrollably. The lights dim and a door slides open behind Les. Hakeem walks out of the door, and right through Les Alexander. The silence is deafening. That's right, Les Alexander has been dead for years and we have been seeing his hologram. Hakeem has masterminded this plan while spending most of his time laying low in the Middle East. Hakeem speaks, his voice and accent echoing through the halls of the Toyota Center. "Everything you have worked for is coming to fruition. The pursuit is over. Now, it is time to focus. It is time to change the NBA forever. Jeff Van Gundy will be the voice that tells the world the mutiny has arrived. Skip Bayless will have been right for the first time in his life. These are the signs of the beginning of the end." ------------------------------------------ TO BE CONTINUED -------------------------------------------
