Who else hates one of their in-laws??

Ok, hate is a strong word. But alas, listen to my story/rant (VERY long):

I met my wife in May of 2000. Shortly after we met, I learned that her parents were divorced. Not uncommon obviously and she never went into great detail when we first started dating.

I first met my mother in-law (at the time, my future mother in-law) only two weeks after our first date. One of our first dates, was attending my father in-laws wedding. Afterwards, we met up with her for lunch. The first thing that told me that something wasn't right with her was the fact that she was very nosey about her ex-husband's new bride. "Was she pretty?" "What did she wear?". The usual nosey stuff. When my wife told her that yes, she was pretty and that she wore a red satin dress, my wife's mother immediately started going on and on about how tacky it is for a bride to wear red and all that. Now, it must be said that my step mother-in-law is Chinese, and apparently, this was a dress that her mother and her grandmother wore to their weddings. Tradition I guess. Anyway, I was a lil suprised about how someone could be so consumed by something like this given the fact the she supposedly "hated" my wife's father, left him in the middle of the night, preceeding their divorce and hadn't even spoken to him in the 5 years since.

Over the next 8 mos, things were fairly calm. I quickly learned that my MIL had a flair for the dramatic and seemed to generaly just cause trouble here and there. Nothing to big, but stuff that woudl generally upset my wife from time to time. I also learned that my MIL had been on anti-depressants and under the care of a psychologist.

I proposed to my wife in February of 2001. We immediately called our families to let them know. Of course, my wife called her mother and her mother's first response was "Well, I guess you won't have a need for a mother since you will have a husband". I mean, what kind of mother says stuff like this?? Nevermind that my wife had been married before and still spent alot of time with her mom (my wife's ex-husband hated her too btw).

So the summer rolls up, and my wife really starts to get into the wedding planning. She really wanted to involve my mom, because they had grown very close. Well, every year, the GRB has a Bridal Extravaganza, and my wife invited both my mom and her mom to go with her (since obviously I wasn't too interested lol). Upon learning that my mom would be going too, my wife's mom said "well, I wouldnt feel comfortable going if Chris's (me) mom is going too". My wife really wanted both of them to go, but her mom refused as long as my mom was going. My mom was very excited to be a part of all this. My wife was upset that her mom refused to go. So I actually called my mom and asked her, in confidence, to tell my wife that something came up and that she couldnt go (a secret that I still havent told my wife to this day). Of course, once my wife called her mother and told her that my mom wouldnt be going, she was more than happy to go. The sad thing is, come the day of the Extravaganza, my MIL called my wife and said that something came up (later learned it was a date with a new boyfriend) and that she couldnt go either. In the end, I ended up going to the show with my wife after her mother screwed up the whole thing.

As our wedding approached (November of 2001), my wife received a suprise call from her mother. Her mother informed her that she just eloped. WTF??? My wife never had even met this guy, that she had been on only 2 dates with. Well, turned out the guy was a real loser. Had been married multiple times, had been in jail multiple times. Stole from his wives. The whole works. Dude was also a therapuedic hypnotist who had been barred from practicing in multiple states. This all leads to my wife not wanting her to come to the wedding because she is so mad. However, I insist on inviting her since its the right thing to do.

Anyway, one day before the wedding, my MIL calls and asks my wife where she would sit. We basically told her that we were having a bride and groom side and that immediately family members would be encouraged to sit on the front row. Each row was like 12 chairs long, so its not like her mother and father would have to sit next to each other. Of course, her mother just "wasnt comfortable" sitting anywhere near her ex-husband, nevermind the fact that this event wasn't about her or him, but rather, my wife and myself. So we tell her that she is more than welcome to sit on the front row, but with my family. Of course, this was just insulting to her. Then we said she could sit in the 2nd row on the bride's side. This wouldnt work either since "people would talk" about why she wouldnt sit on the same row as her father. Then we went as far as to call her father and ask if he minded sitting on the second row so her mother could sit on the 1st row. He was more than welcome, because he is a very nice man. Her mom's response?? "I don't want to sit like that because I feel your father would just be staring at the back of my head the whole time". In the end, we had enough and just told her that she should just sit wherever she would feel comfortable.

Our wedding day game and to our suprise (in hindsight we shouldnt have been), my wife's mother doesn't show up. My wife was devastated. It took so much away from such a beautiful day. My MIL's excuse?? "I just felt like ya'll didn't want me there so I didn't come". Again, WTF??? We bent over backwards trying to accomodate her and her issues. To this day, she has never apologized to either of us, and still blames us for her not coming. Unreal. The biggest slap in the face in my life considering how I stuck up for her.

Early the next year (2002), after not speaking to us for a few months, she calls my wife and informs her that her new husband has been threatening her and whatnot. My wife obviously encourages her to leave him. Finally, one day, she calls my wife again and tells her that this guy just threatened to kill her. Obviously, VERY VERY upsetting to my wife. My wife immediately leaves work (lost a client by doing this) and went over to her mother's house to help her change the locks, change her phone#s and gather up her husbands stuff and put it in storage for him (and mail him the key to it). At the end of the day, the guy shows up, with my wife and her mother locked inside and fear, and proceeds to go into a rage trying to get inside the house. The police are called and yadda yadda yadda, my MIL gets a restraining order against him the next day. My wife begs her to never talk to him again and all that. My MIL promises her that she is through with him.

9 days later, they are back living together. Un****believable. When my wife confronts her about it, my MIL tells her that since my wife doesn't have much time for her anymore, she had to have someone around, so she took him back.

So since that time, things have been off and on. One day they are talking, one day they aren't. However, my wife is continually upset over her actions and her rollercoaster life. My MIL even told my wife that she thought most of their problems were because of me when all I have ever done is told my wife to stick up for herself and not let her mom drag her down. However, I have always been cordial to her and never rude. I am very tolerant.

Come last August, my wife and I have her first child. I had even told my wife a few weeks before, that maybe having a grandchild would be good for her. The day she gave birth, I called everyone on both sides of the family and let them know the good news. I dredded calling her mom, but I had to do it. I called her and told her she was a grandmother. Her first response?? "Have you called anyone else first?". I told her year, I had called my mom and dad, and my wife's brother (called him only because he lives 3 hours away and wanted to know ASAP so he could get off work and head to Houston) before calling her. Anyway, I told her wife and baby were doing good and that she was more than welcome to come visit the next morning, but that please not come by or call before 10am (wife gave birth at 7PM the night before and had a 9 hour labor and was VERY tired obviously). I got to the hospital the next day at 8am and find my wife on the phone with her mother. Come to find out that she called at frickin 6:30am!!! I was so mad. Then came to find out that all they had been talking about is all my MIL's problems and that she wanted my wife to help her sell her house. Less than 12 hours after giving birther, her own mother is trying to bring her down and needs help selling her house!! Ugh.

Over the last few months, things have been rollercoaster as usual. About 3 weeks ago, my wife's mother calls her and tells her that she hadnt been to work in 2 weeks and is about to lose her house because she has no money. She also tells us that her Dr. recommended that she be put in a hospital. My wife encourages her to get the help she needed, but, that we couldnt help her out financially. However, my wife says that she will help her get the help she needs. She spends two whole days calling various treatment centers and whatnot. The next thing you know, my MIL sends her a nasty email telling her that she doesnt need help, and even says that my wife is the one that needs help!! Holy cow. Both of us get concerned that she is going off the deep end. My wife calls her Dr. to tell her what is going on. Turns out, she stopped seeing him months ago and he said that he never told her to get checked into a hospital. Ugh!!!

During Thanksgiving, we invited her over to our house (before her inviting her father). She told us that she was going to see her own mother in Pasadena. So, my wife invited her father instead. Her mother calls us the morning of Thanksgiving and told us that she canceled her plans with her mother. So my wife tells her that her dad is coming over, but leaving by 2 and that she would love for her to come over afterwards. My MIL gets offended at the fact that her father is even coming over here and says "Im just going to stay home. Make sure and have fun with your family.". Later that day, my wife's brother, who was in town from Austin and had to leave that night so he could go back to work the next morning, gets a call from their mother. She asks him to come to her house (in Missouri City) to see her before he leaves. He in turn, asks her to come see him here (I live in Cypress, which is on the way to Austin) because it would be too hard on him to go all the way down to MC to see her, since he has to get back to Austin that night. She basically pulls the "I guess none of my children care about seeing their mother on Thanksgiving" and guilts him into driving the 45 mins to see her. He didnt get back to Austin till 1am (had to be at work at 5am) instead of the 10PM he wanted to.

4 days ago, she calls my wife and tells her that her Dr. just put her on disability because she can't leave the house for some reason. Then, she tells her that her HOA (home owner's association) is threatening to forclose on her house because it needs to be painted. She asks us for $2,500 to get her house painted. 1) Her house is a garden home, thats not even 1,000 SQ FT. 2) Her house is mostly brick, with siding only on 2 walls. 3) It doesnt cost $2,500 to paint a house that small. Ugh. We tell her that we are struggling right now (which we are since my wife hasnt worked in almost a year) and that we cant afford to give her that much money. However, we both volunteer to go over and paint her house for her. Her mom then says "if you dont want to help me, just say so". *click*.

Thats the last we heard from her. Today, we get a phone call from her brother and learn that she called him and told him that we are obviously trying to keep her from seeing her grandson. WTF???? We have never told her she couldnt come see him and I think this has come up because she wanted to come over this past Tuesday at 8pm to see him (that would have been 2 hours past his bedtme). She told my wife's brother that she hadnt seem him in two weeks. Nevermind the fact that my parents, who are both SANE, and live only 5 mins away, have only seen him twice in the last 2 weeks.

So ive come to the conclusion that, although she may be mentally troubled, that she is just a trouble maker and a selfish human being. She has thrown mud all over my name every chance she has gotten. She has told my wife that she is such a bad daughter that she should get mental counseling. She refused to show up for our wedding and then blamed us.







Anyway. So does anyone else have a total whack-job for an in-law??

 

Heh. My wife and I are past the "thoughts and prayers" stage. We are trying to figure out a way to have her committed.