Sept. 3, 2002, 1:34PM Colorful basketball coach Lemons dies By DAVID BARRON Copyright 2002 Houston Chronicle Abe Lemons, who had 599 career college basketball coaching victories and 10 times that many stories to tell about life, basketball and their attendant tribulations and triumphs, died Monday at his home in Oklahoma City. He was 79. Lemons' wife, Betty, said the retired coach had been in declining health since he suffered a broken hip in July. He also suffered from Parkinson's disease. Lemons coached for 34 years at Oklahoma City University, Pan American University and the University of Texas, winning the 1978 NIT championship at Texas. He was renowned for drawn-out tales and folksy one-liners, but as contemporaries and former players reeled off stories Monday night, they first remembered a teacher and a friend. "A lot of people heard his humor and thought he wasn't a serious person," said Johnny Moore, one of his UT stars. "But it wasn't about basketball with him. It was about helping make you a better man." Mike Wacker, another Texas player, said: "He was like the white buffalo -- that was one of his Oklahoma sayings. He was the white buffalo of basketball, and not a day goes by when I don't think of something he said or some way in which he impacted me." Coaching opponents also praised Lemons. "I had coached against him since the 1950s, and he was one of the best coaches I ever saw at handling kids," said former University of Houston coach Guy V. Lewis. Officials, opposing coaches and his own players were the most frequent targets of Lemons' humor, but he didn't spare himself, said Houston businessman Don Sanders. "Abe had a real struggle with Parkinson's, but he never let it get him down," Sanders said. "He only mentioned it once in public that I know of, and it was when he was inducted into the Oklahoma Hall of Fame. "He got up to speak and said, `Well, I really don't deserve this honor. But I have Parkinson's, and I don't deserve that, either.' And the crowd just roared." After coaching at Oklahoma City and Pan American, Lemons came to Texas in the summer of 1976. He won 110 games in six seasons but never quite fit the Longhorns' corporate image, said Robert Heard, author of You Scored One More Point than a Dead Man: The Irresistible, Sardonic Humor of Abe Lemons. "He was a genius when it came to humor, and the stuffed shirts in the Tower couldn't stand that," Heard said. "Darrell Royal was great with the country witticisms, but Abe was more in the storytelling mode. He would walk you around the barn, and before you knew it, you were hooked." Shelby Metcalf, the retired Texas A&M basketball coach, said Lemons' humor was as sharp on the court as on the banquet circuit. "One time they were playing us, and he kept saying, `Shelby, you're cheating me. You're cheating me,' " Metcalf said. "I asked him, `Abe, how am I cheating?' And he said, `You know we can't shoot free throws, and you keep fouling us.' " Another memorable exchange came against Arkansas and coach Eddie Sutton. "That was the game where Abe got mad at Eddie and threatened to tear his Sunday clothes off his back," Metcalf said. "Later in the game, he yelled at one of the officials, `If I called you an SOB, would you give me a technical?' And the official said, `Abe, if you did that, I'd have to give you a technical.' And Abe said, `Well, what if I just thought it?' "The official said, `Well, Abe, I can't give you a technical because of what you think.' And Abe said, `Then I think you're an SOB,' " Metcalf said, laughing. "And Abe didn't get a technical." Lemons even took on Howard Cosell at the 1968 NIT in New York. The coach was so annoyed at his Oklahoma City team that he ordered his players to stay on the court at halftime to practice. Badgered by Cosell to explain his tactics, Lemons yelled: "Listen, mister! You may be big stuff in New York, but you ain't nothin' in Walters, Oklahoma!" And if he was willing to hook up with Cosell, you can imagine, said former player John Danks, what happened to the hapless Marquette male cheerleader who dared test the Lemons wit. "This yell leader saw coach Lemons wearing a pair of red cowboy boots, and he said, real sarcastically, `Nice boots, Abe,' " Danks said. "Coach Lemons turned around and said, `I'd rather have a sister in a whorehouse than a brother holding a megaphone.' "There was a whole row of priests sitting along courtside. One of them heard coach Lemons and started laughing, and then each one turned to the next and told the story. By the time coach Lemons got to the bench, the whole row was laughing." And then there were the one-liners: ·"One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good." ·"Finish last in your league, and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school, and they call you doctor." Only once was Lemons known to be at a loss for words. "Abe would play every year at Nolan Ryan's golf tournament in Alvin," Sanders said. "One year our group was myself, Abe, Nolan and President (George W.) Bush, who was then governor. Abe hit his shot right into the water, and President Bush steps up and hits it five feet from the pin. "And then he turned to Abe and said, `Abe, the difference between you and me is that while you were picking cotton in Oklahoma, I was practicing golf at the club.' Nolan said that was the only time that he ever saw Abe without a comeback." Lemons retired after the 1989-90 season with a career record of 599-343. Arrangements are under the direction of Vondel L. Smith North Funeral Home in Oklahoma City. ____________________________________________________ CAREER HIGHLIGHTS • Won 599 games, the 28th-best total for four-year schools, in 34 seasons of coaching. • Enjoyed his most notable success at Texas, going 110-63 in six seasons (1976-82), sharing two Southwest Conference championships and jump-starting interest in basketball at the football-dominated school. • Won the 1978 NIT championship with Texas and led the Longhorns to the NCAA Tournament in 1979. • Took Oklahoma City University to the NCAA Tournament seven times.
