Bricklayers top 50

[Sendman]

Here is one funny topic for summer days. It is written by the guy who is a moderator on Kings forum.

My Top 50 Most Valuable Players
That last Top 50 list was so good, that I decided I would post my own. So here it is:

The 50 MOST VALUABLE PLAYERS IN THE NBA
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(in alphabetical order)

1)Kenny Anderson – "led" his team all the way to the ECF last year, so must be good
2)Tariq Abdul-Wahad – lead a revolt against his own coach while shooting under 40%. Gotta love a player with guts.
3)John Amaechi – Hey! The Lakers offered him a big deal a couple of years ago to back up Shaq. And he turned them down.
4)Nick Anderson – We should get him back.
5)Vin Baker – battling Shawn Kemp for the most lbs per dollar award.
6)Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje – You just gotta have somebody named Boumtje-Boumtje on your team.
7)Shawn Bradley – has made every list of this kind in history.
8 )Chucky Brown – hey, the man carries his own curse.
9)Kelvin Cato – played more games than Mo Taylor last year.
10)Calbert Cheaney – was once a high-teens scorer. Personally I think he still has it.
11)Chris Childs – 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer…
12)Mateen Cleaves – world’s greatest cheerleader. Will it violate the CBA if we make him wear a skirt?
13)Derrick Coleman – the true inspiration for this list.
14)Austin Croshere – really beat up on the Lakers in the playoffs three years ago.
15)John Crotty – Mr. Fundamental.
16)Vonteego Cummings – has no discernible skills, but still in the league. That takes talent.
17)Chris Dudley – graduated from an Ivy league school.
18 )Howard Eisley – would be a star if he wasn’t trapped behind Stockt…er…Franci…er…Charlie Ward.
19)Evan Eschmeyer – achieved the near impossible last year when he managed to sneak BEHIND Shawn Bradley on the depth chart.
20)Rick Fox – hey, he’s a Laker right? And they won the championship. Bling. Bling.
21)Tyrone Hill – reportedly offered a part in Grumpiest Old Men now that Jack Lemmon has passed
22)Fred Hoiberg – they don’t call him "the Mayor" for nothing. Made the All-Defensive team in a really bad computer basketball game I played.
23)Juwann Howard – Has a very impressive contract.
24)Larry Hughes – Has "do not have a clue" stamped on his forehead, and people STILL want him.
25)Lindsey Hunter – Achieved something unique last year – only man in history unable to figure out how to "go spot up"
26)Shawn Kemp – its gut to gut between he and Baker. Coke addiction may give him edge however.
27)Travis Knight – no less a talent evaluator than Rick Pitino thought this guy was worth a $27(?) million dollar contract
28 )Rusty LaRue – kicked our *** one game last year. Let’s sign him.
29)Christian Laettner -- only player in history to be detested by every single human being he has made contact with.
30)Stephon Marbury – odd that his teams keep on losing. I’m sure its got nothing to do with Steph, however.
31)Jelani McCoy – Lakers almost traded him to the Best Damn Sports Show to get John Salley back.
32)Sam Mitchell – great bargain as I’m fairly sure that you can subtract the amount of social security checks received from a player’s contract
33)Eric Montross – has taken the torch of the Great White Stiff from Joe Kleine, and run with it (in a manner of speaking).
34)Lamond Murray – rumor has it that he hit it off with an Al-Quaeda member last year, so he fell behind Laetnner. Still impressively disliked however.
35)Charles Oakley – can’t play anymore, but excels at bitch slapping people (no offense ladies) and talking smack
36)Greg Ostertag – picture Ostertag last year. Now remove a kidney. Scary.
37)Ruben Patterson – has to register with the local police department when coming to town. What a badass.
38 )Vitaly Potapenko – the "Ukraine Train". Saved Seattle from Vin’s contract.
39)Brent Price – sings a mean national anthem.
40)Zach Randolph – somebody told me he was good.
41)Glen Rice – would probably have averaged 25ppg game last year, but was learning a new offense
42)Mitch Richmond – poor Mitch
43)Deshawn Stevensen – one day hopes to be like his idol, Patterson.
44)Mo Taylor – Despite season-ending injury, Rockets didn’t notice any fall off in his rebounding last year
45)Jake Tsakalidis – player on the rise – threatening to take the Joe Kleine award from Montross.
46)Antoine Walker – for three!
47)Rasheed Wallace – Hi, I’m insane.
48 )Charlie Ward – has been offered the chance to take over for Pat Robertson once his playing days are over
49)Jason Williams – but, look at all that talent!
50)Kevin Willis -- cherished for his first-hand stories of the Trojan War. Rumor has it that his arms have shrunk over the centuries from repeated washing.

[dwil8686]

Couldn't get past #3.

Worst Post Ever

[Gutter Snipe]

Funny stuff Sendman - the only guy they missed was Snottie Pippen.

CBFC is gonna be upset though.

[Lobo]

Here's an abridged version for Rockets fans.

8 )Chucky Brown – hey, the man carries his own curse. 9)Kelvin Cato – played more games than Mo Taylor last year. 41)Glen Rice – would probably have averaged 25ppg game last year, but was learning a new offense 44)Mo Taylor – Despite season-ending injury, Rockets didn’t notice any fall off in his rebounding last year 50)Kevin Willis -- cherished for his first-hand stories of the Trojan War. Rumor has it that his arms have shrunk over the centuries from repeated washing.

Can't argue with any of these.

[Pat]

(36) my favorite along with (44). How did we rate 4 players on this dubious list?

[Deckard]

I liked 7 and 19. Reach for the Tums, Cuban!

[leehoang]

number four nick the brick. didn't know he was still around.

ha

[off_welfare]

Uhm I don't get the point of this ?

[Miggidy Markell]

Bricklayers would mean poor shooters, no? Title of the thread is wrong, this list name is wrong. Maybe poor players or something along those lines. However I did like the Antoine one... it seems like it's all he takes these days.

[Stevie Francis]

lol

[Mr. Slim Citrus]

Originally posted by Miggidy Markell Bricklayers would mean poor shooters, no? Title of the thread is wrong, this list name is wrong. Maybe poor players or something along those lines. However I did like the Antoine one... it seems like it's all he takes these days.

Bricklayer is the actual name of the poster; it has nothing to do with the list itself, which was basically just Brick's list of his 'favorite' NBA bums.

The unmolested version of the thread can be found here.

[A-Train]

that dogbert avatar is pretty sweet...