[News] Woman Wields Knife, Demands Cunnilingus

[percicles]

"Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I'm going to cut your f_cking throat."

Only in West Virginia

Woman Utters Line Never Previously Recorded In A Police Report Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a West Virginia motor inn. The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here. According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger. While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.” This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your ****ing throat.” When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon. Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16. Link

Following Forum Rules

[Depressio]

Great, now I'm going to have nightmares. Thanks a lot.

[Uprising]

WOW...just....umm....wow. And, unfortunately. The picture matches the story perfectly.....

on second thought. Not unfortunately. It said she had a stanky leg....

[Scarface281]

Talk about yeast infection. It would have been like stuffing your face into cold mac and cheese. Nasty thread.

I'm out.

[RV6]

I knew it was gonna be bad....and i still looked in here...dammit.

[SuperBeeKay]

Halloween is over, she needs to take off that mask

[ItsMyFault]

Ah, the picture matches the story.... sad world.

[Cohete Rojo]

fap, fap, fap

[SuperBeeKay]

I heard pussies are too hairy to eat anyways, I'd much rather eat a dog

[FranchiseBlade]

How could they refuse?

[Cannonball]

Reading the article, I expected there to be a picture posted when I scrolled down. I tried to imagine how horrible this woman must look. What I thought of was pretty damned bad. I was WAAAAAAYYYY off.

Who the f*** was the guy who agreed to do it initially? Why?

[Harrisment]

Haters gonna hate.

[tmoney1101]

Originally Posted by Harrisment Haters gonna hate.

aters gonna ate.

[Landlord Landry]

just cut my ****ing throat.

[tmoney1101]

Down with "horrible vaginal odor"!

[KingCheetah]

The only way to prove she really said that is to find a cunning linguist.

[SuperHighFly]

“agreed to perform at her request.”

[BetterThanI]

There really isn't anything I could say that can make this story any funnier. I'll just leave this here...

[LonghornFan]

He should have just put some salt on it for taste. I hear it works for noodles.

[RoxSqaud]

Originally Posted by Landlord Landry just cut my ****ing throat.

This.