Today, I had a great moment at work. There is a lady that is in her early to mid-50's that is not liked by most people at my work, quite frankly. She is just condescending, doesn't like to do work, and is frankly, just not very smart. (I have to say, there may not be a worse combination than dim-witted and condescending.) So, anyways, there are about four or five people standing, talking to our supervisor (including me), and this lady is talking a mile a minute. Her stories are dull and boring, so I wasn't even paying attention, just kind of daydreaming. All of a sudden, I see her start to (sort of) uncomfortably shift her legs while talking a little louder. As she does this, mid-sentence, she rips a HUGE fart. I mean, the thing like reverberated in my middle ear. She just kept talking, and everyone pretended it never happened. Ahhh, the working world of adulthood. Well, about 15 seconds post-fart, another co-worker comes walking by, and looks at me and says, kind of loudly, "Did you just fart?" I said, "No!" and started waving my arms and shaking my head, pointing to the real culprit. Then a short while later, another co-worker of mine came by asking if I heard the fart. 'Course I affirmed, and we laughed heartily. So, this begs me to request your guys' best fart-in-public story. It doesn't matter if you dealt it or just witnessed it....
Soda gives me gas. Pasteurized apple juice makes my gas stink really really bad. If I drink certain carbonated apple sodas (Martinelli's"" is the best) WATCH OUT!!! It's disgusting, really. I can't describe how intensely rancid  
This one time in High school we were taking a final exam.... needless to say the classroom was dead silent and all of a sudden some kid rips ass that was so freakin loud it broke everyone's concentration. I think everybody was dumbfounded and everybody looked in the direction of where the sound came from and one girl started snickering and next thing you know everybody starts crackin up including the teacher. Nobody knew who done it until some kid turned beat red and basically had guilty written across his forehead.
Ahh I vividly remember the time me and my business acquaintance were playing golf. The guy was a tech head so just as he was getting ready to tee off, he suddenly began talking to his thumb. So I say to him: "What you doin?" "Oh, don't worry, with Microtechnology I have a Microphone in my thumb. I was just recording a message." So we carried on golfing, but all of a sudden I broke wind, and boy was it loud! Obviously he heard it and look towards me with a dejected expression on his face. So in order to save a possible big business deal I looked over at him and said 'Oh,'. "Don't worry, I'm just receiving a fax!"
the day after thanksgiving of 07 my wife and i are in wal-mart shopping and i had to wait in line for a camera and i had ate some pumpkin pie the day before... pumpkin pie is not my best friend and i happened to crack a mean fart... a woman and her daughter walked up behind me in the line and asked "what the hell is that smell... oh my god" all i could do was hold in the laughter and denounce my natural assterpiece and used the classic line "what do you mean i dont smell anything"... the funniest part of all i was cracking them all day in my mothers vehicle especially she almost put me out on the side of I-10 cant wait for this year
8th grade math class. I felt a big one coming, so I kind of scooted down in my chair hoping to creep it out. This was one of those plastic chair desks with the wire book basket thing attached to the bottom. When this sucker came roaring out, the basket literally hummed with the tone of the vibration caused by my massive fart. The whole class just lost it, including the teacher. She was kind of ghetto and the only thing she could get out between fits of laughter was "you dirty! you dirty!" Then she sent me to sit out in the hall for the rest of class. It was awesome.
Hoffman Middle School, 1989-1990, before I went off to Eisenhower, got in a bunch of trouble my freshman year, and then got sent off to military school. If only it had stopped with the farting....
One time we were in church and it was time to pray so it got real quiet. Next thing I know somebody on our row farted real loud. I tried to hold in my laugh but I could not do it.
One time I was on the Tokyo - DFW flight, which is like 12 hrs long. I was in business class, and they give out noise cancelling Bose headphones. Well, I'm laying down, fully reclined and I thought I could let one seep out. So, as I let it out I notice the lady next to me and the folks in the middle row look in my direction. Turns out I ripped some serious ass and didn't even know it because of the headphones. I pretend to be asleep but I know the rest of the folks around me were disgusted.
My marketing professor at UT during sophomore year just ripped a huge one in the middle of his lecture. And then he just bust out laughing for 5 minutes. (along with the whole room) He was a cool guy.
Me and a big group of my friends were at the movie watching "The Messenger".. anyways it was a quiet scene where something scary was about to happen and everyone was intense. Thats when I ripped a Loud one and it lasted for about 2 secs.... everyoone in the theatre went nuts laughing why the scary part was on! LOLLLLL
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uF56D6jg240&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uF56D6jg240&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> personally, i don't remember but i rip a mini one yesterday during a state test.
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something must be wrong with me to first of all to be leaving a comment here, 2nd to keep on reading this thread and 3rd to be laughing my ass off hahaha.
I went to Circuit City a few months ago and I walked by this older man with and his son and it smelled like somebody just ripped something awful. I tried to ignore it, but then one of the guys working there walked over to our area. Once he encountered the smell he stopped dead in his tracks and started making the most terrified face and looked at us while sniffing the air. It was one of the funniest moments of my life.
Did a production of King Lear at Main Street Theater in the early 90s. For those who know, the stage at the Rice Village location is very small and intimate. Anyway, on stage with one other actor and we’re in a very intense, dramatic moment, when I let one go that could be heard from the back row. Needless to say the scene went to hell after that.
