FINALLY! DUKE has a good date!

[LHutz]

Much better than DUKE's priorous date, the one DUKE had to ESCAPE CAPE CAPE from!!!

I have gone to the same grocerie store for about two months now (RANDALLS RULES!!!!!) and DUKE been making the WINKY-EYES at a cashier there!!!! SHE was real pretty with long red eyes and big blue hair and nice you know whats!!

Well finally this weekend she was toting up DUKE'S groceries DUKE screwed up his COURAGE and asxed her out!

And you KNOW what she said!!!

Huh?

Right!!!

No thank you I am not interested!!! Well DUKE was very embrassed and depressed so I started to cry a little bit, DUKE is a sensative man. Well the clerker, her name is ALICE, she felt bad for DUKE and said "OK OK stop crying, Jesus Christ, I'll go out with you."

That WARMED DUKE's heart, to hear her be so religous and all.

SO for the date we went first to a movie at the One-Dollar Cinema (DUKE figured this would show ALICE that DUKE knows how to manage money!!) it was called "The Phantum Menace". ALICE was super nice, she did not even ask for any of DUKE's popcorn that I smuggled in my pants.

After that we went to the OLIVE GARDEN, Itlian Restaraunt. Did you know that they give you free bread and salad?!? Oh yeah like DUKE was going to pay for an ontray!!! HA HA HA joke was on them, DUKE just sat there eating his breadsticks all night!!!!

After that DUKE wanted to go bowling, nothing gets a female in the mood for humping like BOWLING, but ALICE said she was not feeling well. So that was the date.

It's not over yet!!! DUKE's been calling ALICE leaving phone massages for her, like nineteen a day!! And Tuesday is grocerie day so DUKE will probably see ALICE when he goes to RANDALLS.

DUKE!

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A HOUSE is not a HOME if it is ON FIRE.

[Dr of Dunk]

Congrats, Duke. So how's your ex-wife, "that ho"? Do you talk to her much any more? Did you like "The Phantom Menace"? If so, you should watch the sequel "Dennis the Menace", it's even better.

My personal suggestion to you is shop for chicks at Wal-Mart. Just like the merchandise, they come cheaper there, too.

Good luck, Dukey.

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?

[popeye]

Dear Duke of Mirth,

I am very proud of your venture into the unknown. Now please leave that poor girl alone. Don't you think she's been through enough already?

Your friend,
pop

PS: Write me for the name of a good lawyer. He is very good. He only defends stalkers. His sister is available though.

[BobFinn*]

hutz:

The reason she won't see you anymore is you still smell like skunk!!!! Cologne will not hide that smell.

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I had amnesia once or twice.

[Pole]

Hutz; I've never met you, but after spending some time in the BBS, you get a feel for someone's personality. I don't think American women are the best thing for you.

I think you should consider a "mail order bride." In fact, I just stopped my typing for a few seconds, went to yahoo, and did a search for "foreign bride." The number of returns were astonishing. I took a peak and some of these women are downright beautiful.

They are used to less material belongings than American women, so you wouldn't have to be as generous with them as you normally are. Being an attorney, you could design a pre-nup that would benefit you the most. And if by some strange chance, you have any Idiosyncrasies that might make you less appealing to the average woman, they would not really matter here, as your new bride would just be happy to be moving to America.

You even have opportunities to meet with these women before hand, so you could make sure she looks as good in person as she does in the picture. And if after a few years, you find her less appealing, you could get a divorce without losing much or anything because of the pre-nup. You could then start all over again. It's a win-win situation for both of you.

I really think you should look into this--and keep your friends here at the bbs apprised of your progress.

--your friend
Pole

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stop posting my damn signature

[Pole]

Here's what I found for you, Hutz. If you don't like her, there's plenty more where she came from




You're one click away from the woman of your dreams!

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stop posting my damn signature

[grummett]

Social worker, eh?

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[LHutz]

THE FUTURE WIFE OF TRUTH!!!! Big jahoobies and all. THIS is excellent work Pole I salud you.

DUKE DUKE DUKE DUKE of LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!

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A HOUSE is not a HOME if it is ON FIRE.

[Pole]

All I ask is that you keep us abreast of the situation. It's summer now, the season is over, and we'll need a good scoop every now and then.

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stop posting my damn signature

[LHutz]

Wow Pole you have some intruging ideas. DUKE is intruged! TELL ME MORE.

DUKE knows American wommens are no good for him!!! It is just like that song says! You know which one DUKE means.

Huh?

Right!

GANGSTA OF LOVE by the Getto Boys, DUKE love that song.

And DUKE's first wife the exwife that ho was Espanish she came from Ciudad Juarez.

So maybe, maybe you are right. DUKE needs a FOREN WOMAN. Send applications to dukeoftruth@yahoo.com. Must be 17 or oder to participate. No fat chicks. Must be real woman not man dressed as woman. BIG JAHOOBIES prefered.

DUKE DUKE DUKE DUKE OF RECRUIT CRUIT CRUIT!!!

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A HOUSE is not a HOME if it is ON FIRE.