DUKE needs some help please!!!!

LHutz · 03-22-2000, 10:20 AM

DUKE has a little problem I hope you can help me. Do you guys remember the Y2K thing, the big scary mess that was gonng happen?

Huh?

Right.

OF COURSE you do it was only three or four months ago! Well, DUKE never forgot his Boy Scout roots, so I was well-perpared for the big apocolepsy! I bought all KINDA of canned goods, like lima beans and kidnee beans and baked beans, also some peaches and a LOT of sardines (DUKE's favorites!!!). I had enough can food for two years, you should see it!!!

So I hunkered down inside the BUNKER OF TRUTH waiting, and I come out on January 5th and look, nothing bad happened.

Well, DUKE was kind of embareassed, I told the neighbors "FEAR THE Y2K!!!! IT IS THE END OF SOCIEDY!!!" and now here it was nothing happened. But the real problem is, DUKE still has sevral thousands cans of dried prunes and marinated spinach with croutons.

Anybody want to buy some can goods from DUKE? Please. Please. Please. DUKE needs the cash, the credit card compnies are getting preddy mad at me. I thought I would buy all these stuff on my credit cards then when the WORLD melted on Y2K, no have to pay!

Whoops. DUKE DUKE DUKE DUKE make MISTAKE, STAKE STAKE.

------------------
A HOUSE is not a HOME if it is ON FIRE.

Mulder · 03-22-2000, 10:31 AM

Gee, I have an idea. Why don't you do something for the less fortunate and donate that canned food to a food pantry. It will help the community and you'll be surprised how good it makes you feel.

------------------
The truth is out there.

LHutz · 03-22-2000, 10:37 AM

Don't be stupidy, Mulder!!! DUKE needs cash and if the less fortanate had cash to buy my can goods they would be MORE fortanate, wouldn't they!!!!

------------------
A HOUSE is not a HOME if it is ON FIRE.

Redglare · 03-22-2000, 10:55 AM

Since you apparently ARE the less fortunate, I'd get to work quick. Build yourself a canned fortress, but keep the marinated spinach for ammunition. Once the bill collectors come and threaten to break your kneecaps, you toss the goods at them. With that, they will not bother you until their bruises have healed, AND you'll still have the spinach!

I'd still find a way to pay the internet bill though. The DUKE of TRUTH's voice should not be silenced!!

------------------

Mango · 03-22-2000, 08:26 PM

Sell your computer and monitor.

Mango

------------------
It could be worse ....... you could have been born a Jazz fan!!!!

LHutz · 03-23-2000, 02:12 PM

I donot get you Almooo. DUKE used to think you were so cool, I used to sit and make up songs about you like:

"Almu is one cool dude, even if he can't arGUE!!! Roses are red violets are blue NOBODY ever beats the DUKE!!!!!"

Now you come and make fun of me. What is that all about.

Huh?

Right!!!!

You are jealous of my prodigitude!! I know you are being a SORE LOSER because DUKE consistently and thouroughly destroys you in the arguing. Well fine.

DUKE WORKS, I am a lawyer for a lawyer firm and we sue people!! When I am not arguing I am suing, that is what I do! I am GOOD at it too, I have a nice house with the BUNKER OF TRUTH in the backyard, I have a dog named Stinky, I have a real nice Hundai and also my IMPALA from my days in the hood. Also I have two suits that I wear!

So take that in your pipe-hole and smoke on it.

------------------
A HOUSE is not a HOME if it is ON FIRE.

34dream · 03-23-2000, 02:31 PM

Is this guy the original Duke of Truth or just some idiot, who desperately needs some attention? Because I remember that the old LHutz had the status 'Incoherent columm writer' instead of 'Member'.

------------------

LHutz · 03-23-2000, 03:02 PM

DUKE does need attention. I donot have any friends.

I love you, 34dream. Will you be my fend?

Calvin23 · 03-23-2000, 05:21 PM

Just keep the cans. If you have so many, you won't have to worry about buying food for awhile. So, you're really not losing any money.

------------------
You know, it's interesting...
--Calvin Murphy

LHutz · 03-24-2000, 01:34 AM

GOSH Redglare thank you for not harrassing me this time, you make a very good sugjection. But I saw the Waco Thing happen on my TV, so I donot think a fortress made of can goods will help, plus I sure donot want the goverment to have any reason to ATTACK me!!!

Also I already have the BUNKER OF TRUTH, it is like Supeeman's FORTRESS OF SOLID DUDES. I go there and think up my columms!

PS, I see you are a "tax guru", can you pay some of the DUKE's back taxes for me?

Mango if I sells my computer and monitor I will only have a printer and a mouse and a keybord, that is not enough to get on theINNERNET. So you have given me a very bad sugjestion. Donot do that again.

------------------
A HOUSE is not a HOME if it is ON FIRE.

Almu · 03-24-2000, 01:40 AM

How abou this, Dookey.

Motivate the buyer. Tell them if they buy 4 cans from you, you give them a 5th can free. Now, the catch is that you raise the price a little bit on the other four cans so that you don't lose money on the 5th one. The buyer won't know because he don't know the prices.

To sell the cans, you can go to a Flea Market. You can buy a table for 40 bucks and rent a mini U-Haul for another 30. I know you have 70 bucks for emergencies. You can do that with it. You do work, right?

So, there you go. The Great One has solved it for you. You can now praise me, Dookey.

------------------
Live Rocketball. Breathe Rocketball. Die with Rocketball.