Not bad parents, necessarily. Just mean parents. How do you deal with them? My parents, namely my mom, is just plain mean. I graduated HS a year early, my parents promised to pay my tuition, a month before my first day of college, my mom says, "Nevermind, we don't have the money." I put off school til next semester, my mom asks me to quit my job and come help her open a new restaurant. I won't get paid, but she'll pay my tuition, really this time. Time comes to pay, "Woops, no money!" This time, I was determined to go to school at all costs, so I work out a payment plan, borrow money for the first payment and charge my books to the brand new $700 limit credit card in my name. My parents swear they'll pay back the borrowed money and pay the bill for the credit card. Honest.... Being the person that I am, I really want to believe them, so I continue going to school as well as helping my parents in every way imaginable. I run all their errands, I handle all the paperwork for my dad's small business, I take my little sisters to school every morning and pick them up every afternoon. I continue to work for free at my mom's restaurant, all in good faith. I'm up and busy with school and helping my parents from 5 AM til atleast 9PM EVERYDAY. I keep this schedule up, then time comes to pay the last installment on my tuition plan that my mom said she'd have covered by the time it comes around. Yeah, right. I had to drop out, because I couldn't afford the last payment. I stop working at my mom's restaurant and start making money again, because I'm in debt up to my eyeballs with stuff my parents promised time and again they would pay for. I slowly start paying it off, and my mom contributed at most $300, which isn't even a fourth of the bill. Worst part of this whole story: My mom has been telling my five older sisters that she and my father paid for my tuition and books in full and I just dropped out because I was being lazy. I was devastated when I found out. I don't understand why she would be so mean. It's really uncomfortable living here now, as she's falling JUST short of kicking me out. I don't have money to move out, cause I'm still repaying the debt from school and some a-hole ran a red light and hit me while I was driving my boyfriend's newly fixed car and it was totaled, so I'm helping him with that. I'm depressed and don't know what to do.
I don't know what else to say, but how f'ed up that sounds. I guess your parents are franticly struggling to keep their business afloat while supporting the family. But that definitely doesn't excuse them for throwing you under the tire. Just how many siblings do you have in your family? It sounds like you have at least 6.
Geez...it just sounds like misfortune after misfortune, and I really feel for you. It's extremely difficult working hard trying to earn money paying off debts, all the while not getting financial back-up from your parents for school...which you are so desperate to stay in since you want a degree and a good career and a good life. I know -- it's my current situation now. So I can fully relate to your story. I'd suggest finding a decent job that will either pay well, or offer some kind of college reimbursement -- only for the meantime. Take a few hours in community college and slowly work your way into getting back into school. OR...slowly start saving up and look for a roommate you can live with in an apartment and split rent with you. And then work your way up to school. Key thing, though: disregard what your parents are saying to your sisters about you being lazy; you know the truth. No matter who tells you otherwise, you know how hard you work and what you do for yourself and your sisters. So keep your head up. Good luck with everything. Hope this info helps.
That sucks. This is what I would do if I were in your situation... 1. apply for like 5 student loans. 2. move out when checks arrive and disown these mean parents of yours. 3. work at Treasures. 4. ??? 5. profit. Seriously though, it's doesn't look like living at home with your parents right now is an ideal situation for you emotionally and mentally, especially if you're starting to feel depressed over this. I know it'll be difficult to move out, with the financial difficulties you're facing now, but eventually you're going to have to decide what's going to be best for you. Life is rough sometimes, but you gotta have faith that everything will work itself out. Also trying to keep things in perspective might help. Whenever I'm feeling bummed out, I try to remind myself that my life isn't that bad and somebody, somewhere is going through something much, much worse.
Two suggestions: 1. Apply for need based financial aid. You should at least be able to get a student loan that has repayment deferred until graduation. 2. Join the military - free college tuition up to $40,000, plus as a girl it is quite a bit safer for you (though not without risk by any means). As a bonus, you will make more than enough money to pay off your debts, get to serve your country, and help a military that is hurting badly for recruits.
Do NOT join the military unless you strongly support the US occupation of Iraq, because there is a good chance that is where you will end up. StupidMoniker, is beyond freaking parody. He is trying to get a girl in a desperate situation to join the military that is "hurting badly" because of a war that he supports, when you couldn't drag him to a recruiting station with a tow truck. He should telll ShadyP about how he thinks it's "kosher" if captured soldiers are tortured as long as it doesn't result in permanent physical damage. (Oh yeah, but SM humanely makes an exception for rape, because that's just how he rolls.) Then she can know how much weight to give his advice.
How old are you? If you are 24 ish . .then you can Apply for financial aid on your own and using you income you should get Pell grants or some need based grant if you are younger then you can still do it .. just more complicated [which may include letter from parents stating they do not financially support you at all . . which would be difficult to explain if you still living there] Emancipating yourself and then going on your own finances may make you eligible for various need based Financial Aid Rocket River
You should be able to apply for student loans and move into a small shared rent while working. You can change everything, if you really want to, but you have to make it happen. Don't wait for your parents to do anything and then hold resentment when things don't work out. You are old enough to make your own decisions. Good luck and I wish you the best.
holy **** this is ownage. Good show gifford, good show. Shady: Unfortunately it seems like your only real option is more debt in the short term. Student loans are not as terrible as credit card debt, but it may put you in a hole after you graduate. My advice is to apply for scholarships (you'd be surprised how many there are if you make it a mission to find them) and cover the rest with financial aid. Find some roommates and move out. Up to you what you tell your parents, but I would not hold back.
Yeah, way to turn a thread about someone's serious issues into another Iraq war debate. Good show indeed... Shady, it sounds like your folks may be trying to manipulate you into working for them and trying to save money by not paying you, not to mention not paying for your school. That's a pretty ****ty thing to do. I agree with what everyone else is saying about grants and loans. Surely you can get something, it's pretty easy to qualify nowadays. The part I don't agree on is moving out. You could save a lot of money by staying at home as long as your folks allow it. Yes, it would suck, but financially it would be worth it. Get a job, live at home, and get a college grant/loan and that way you could use the money from your job to pay your debts instead of paying for rent and/or tuition. Good luck. Things always work out for the best.
When someone throws out advice about joining to the military today to pay for college, the Iraq war is front and center in the discussion, unless you live in fantasy land.
What your parents have done is incredibly unfair to you, and you have every right to be upset. Not only have they broken multiple promises, but then your mother has the nerve to blame your hardships on your 'laziness' rather than their failure to meet their commitments. I would make the following suggestions: 1) Assume from here on out that your parents will never contribute anything toward your debt or your education. All future financial planning and decisions should be made based on this assumption. So if you don't have the money yourself (either in hand or due via future paychecks) when it comes time to register for school, don't register. 2) Make an appointment with a financial aid counselor at your school. Explain your whole situation (lack of parental support, debt, etc.) and find out what options are available. 3) Regarding your living situation, I would suggest talking to your sisters (assuming they live nearby) and see if you can move in with one of them. Offer to pay a little in rent and to handle various household chores (cleaning, cooking, etc). 4) Get a job that allows you to work overtime, and put all overtime earnings in the bank (or use it to pay off debt). BTW, why are you paying anything for your boyfriend's car? If the accident was someone else's fault, their insurance should be covering it.
Definately talk with financial aid office of your school. Consider stop going to school for a while (6 month to a year) to pay off some of the debts. Oh and find a richer boyfriend! joke
You should be concerned about what your mom is telling your sisters. If they weren't family or someone you're close to, then I'd agree with eric. This can strain your relationship with them. You should at least talk to them or your mom about this situation.
Fill out a FAFSA form ASAP. I'm taking out $9250 per semester for school, the out of staters take out around $38k annually. PLUS loans can cover the balance of your expenses needed for room and board.
Looks like you just learned you can't rely on anyone but yourself. I learned that when I had to kick my mom out of my appartment when I was 17. Good luck. Stay away from Debt as much as possible and be prepared to work hard.
