Would you date your Ex's friend?

[krnxsnoopy]

Warning: Very Long


So I was sorta seeing this girl for the past couple years. When I meant sorta I meant we were never boyfriend-girlfriend. She lived out of state but she'd come see me every few months or so to spend time with me. And everytime got along great as if a real couple.

We were never "official" and we've both seen other people in between during that time. The sex was always great. Anyway the past couple times she visited me, things started to heat up between us. She would tell me she loved me and what not and wanted to know where we were going. It was the "all or nothing" kind of deal. I told her I cared for her alot too but I don't believe in long distance relationships. Anyways we just took it as it come, talking to eachother on the phone and what not and arranging our next "meeting". So the last time came things were great. As usual, the sex was awesome too. I felt alot of feeling for her and this time more than ever I felt I could "settle down" in a committed relationship sense with her, if we lived much closer.

She had been frustrated with her previous job, so she quit recently and have been looking for a new one. I suggested her to consider looking for jobs in the New York area (she's currently in the Bay area). Meanwhile, She could stay with me as long as it took for her to get settled (interviews, apt searching etcetc). She still lives with her folks at the moment so she doesn't have to worry about where to keep her stuff or any lease contract. I told her she should try it out for a month or so and if doesnt work out she can always goes back. On the other hand, if things go well, she can go back to pick up the rest of her belongings. I figured this was a reasonable idea.

So anyways.. a couple weekends ago I was at a party with some friends and got pretty drunk. So somehow this girl comes and sits next to me. She starts leaning on me, and we're both trashed. We were dancing on the dance floor and next thing I know I'm making out with her. We ended up making out all night. I'll keep it PG-13, but it got pretty raunchy on the dance floor. She started reaching places she shouldn't be. Let me tell you.. she had a pretty nice body and most of all I really enjoyed the way she kissed me. It got me real curious!!

So anyway a few days later I had a talk with the girl in California. I told her I care for her alot and brought up the idea of her moving here again. She told me she cared for me but long story short it was clear she didn't plan on coming here anytime soon. Atleast not right now. So I told her I don't know what we're doing, I can't keep doing this "every few months" thing forever.. I mean I can deal with the distance if its temporary, but if she's not planning on coming here EVER, then I don't know what we're doing. I also got mad at her because I told her she didn't even try. I figured if we really are "committed", then she would "commit" to genuine attempt to try it out. The way I saw it, she didn't even try.

So a couple more days later (a week after the party), I hung out with that chick again. It was fun and all and she ended up coming over to have some more drinks. She ended up spending the night but we didn't have sex. Anyways, I think its pretty clear she knows the girl in California. They both went to college around here in New York and I think they have the same circle of friends. Small world indeed. Whats more crazy is, I don't think they just know eachother as acquantainces, I think they're pretty close friends! Similarily, I think the new girl knows I dated her friend too. It never came up and never been talked about, but its pretty obvious.

Here's why: All signs are pointing the two hung out the last time California girl was in town, while I was at work; while Cali girl was staying with me. I'm pretty sure the location of my pad(where Cali girl was staying) came up at some point and the new girl figured it out when she first came over. Not to mention, Cali girl used to visit me in Texas numerous times while she was attending school in New York. Knowing that I just recently came up here from Texas.. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she has an idea of who I am. But she hasn't brought it up yet and I don't plan to bring it up either. I have a feeling it'l remain this way unless something drastic happens.

Anyways, I'm torn because I do care for the first girl alot and wished we could work something out. But she told me straight up, there are no immediate plans for her to move here, (if ever). But somehow, she says she wants to keep this long distance thing going. Someone please tell me, who is being selfish here? Cause I really don't know. I would still love to see her again but I can't go on waiting and waiting not knowing where this is going. I mean long distance is easier for girls than guys, lets admit it. This new girl just landed on my lap (literally) and seems really cool, not to mention sexy. I'm not trying to make her my girlfriend cause thats not the issue here. The issue is the status of my single life. If I commit to a person, there are certain things I do different. While I do care for her, I'm just not sure blowing off every opportunity that lands on my lap (cockblocking myself) is such a smart idea either.

Oh yeah, and they're both friends..

[SamFisher]

I didn't read your post, but yes if she was hot.

[SwoLy-D]

No, I have not. Well, hell, I am married now, but I never have... anyway,

Do I have to spell it out for you, man? T-H-R-E-E-S-O-M-E.
"Two chicks at one time, man." BELIEVE.

[professorjay]

Threesome time.

[bladeage]

I also did not read but hell yes.

[percicles]

Where do you nerds get off on saying no to puntang.

[SwoLy-D]

Originally Posted by percicles Where do you nerds get off on saying no to puntang.

First you speak WONDERS in the 'escort' thread, now you come into this thread to speak TRUTH and GOSPEL. Amen, brother. Uhhh... I'm one of those nerds... and, no, I hadn't, but I would.

[MR. MEOWGI]

I would rather read a thread about LiNKin pArk.

[bladeage]

Ok i read it, i say keep hittin the new girl if the old girl doesn't wanna come down. Do what you must.

[BigM]

your not in a commited relationship with the other girl. sleep with this new one as much as you want till that other chick makes up her mind.

[Invisible Fan]

If you want to commit the first girl, tell her you want to commit and that you'd have a different mindset in your relationship if she does. Say it outright and don't beat around the bush. She might be wishy washy (her no), but her response lets you decide what you want to do afterwards.

It seems like both of you are afraid of commitment. Are you sure you want her moving in?

[SWTsig]

Originally Posted by SamFisher I didn't read your post, but yes if she was hot.

bingo bango.

[Yaozer]

I wouldn't necessarily date.. but more of a hit-it-and-quit-it kinda thing. Except it's more like between 3 friends. Needless to say I only talk to one of them now (which is my current gf).

[Surfguy]

Only Jerry Springer can solve this. The big confrontation between Cali girl and Cali girl's girlfriend will be a sight to see. Cali girl's girlfriend is such a good friend of Cali girl for targetting you knowing full well who you are and going behind Cali girl's back to get a taste. Then, the catfight ensues on Springer.

Jerry! Jerry!

[Falcons Talon]

IF I had never met Tara, I would not only date the ex's friends, I would go Baqui99 on her, give her a Dirty Sanchez, take pics of the whole act, and send pics to the ex.

It would probably work better with ex's sister though.

[RocketMan Tex]

Date? Maybe

Grudge*****? Definitely!

[conquistador#11]

Of course I would date My ex's friend...However,I would never even think about dating my friend's ex..does that make sense?

[Lady_Di]

This is a sensitive situation.

If your friend is cool with you dating the ex, then do it BUT she/he would habor some resentment towards you if you do. Just make sure she/he is really over the ex. I've had a friend dating one of my exes. I was cool with it but sometimes I would get a twinge of jealousy.

So proceed with caution!

[swilkins]

I don't need complications at this point in my life. There are too many other people out there.

[ima_drummer2k]

Originally Posted by conquistador#11 Of course I would date My ex's friend...However,I would never even think about dating my friend's ex..does that make sense?

OK, but would you date Quannel X?