Rob English

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/sports...eorge_0716.html

Commentary: Trash-talk is universal language

Time to invent a catch phrase. Temporary Zidanity.

Something provocative is said, something specifically intended to anger or humiliate us, and in a instant, the bedrock foundation of rational, adult thought is pulverized beneath a mushroom cloud of emotion.

French soccer star Zinedine Zidane is the new poster child for using one's head in such instances but not the brain within.

A week ago, on the World Cup's galactic stage, he let a trash-talker on the Italian team get under his skin with some inane comment about Zidane's mother or his sister, or, hey, it might have been Bridget Bardot for all we know.

Does it really matter?

France's best player didn't just get kicked out of soccer's ultimate game for head-butting an opponent in the chest. He literally got talked out of it.

Why, oh why, did no one ever sign Don Rickles to a multiyear sports contract while the 80-year-old insult comic still had his wheels? No one, given the volcanic certainties of human nature, would have been more valuable.

Picture an ice rink. Everybody's out chasing the hockey puck, except for Rickles, who is busy calling people hockey pucks.

He doesn't even have to know how to skate. Just plant him permanently in the penalty box and he'll encourage opponents to come join him until the game is forfeited for lack of personnel.

This is not a French problem, or a soccer problem or even a sports problem. Trash-talking is so universal that even heads of state wander off the teleprompter every now and then to fire off a mouthful of mess.

Just last week Russian President Vladimir Putin was asked to respond to a speech in which U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney criticized the government in Moscow for trampling on the rights of its citizens.

"The statements of your vice president of this sort," Putin said in an NBC interview, "are the same as an unsuccessful hunting shot."

Now that's seeking out the sorest spot. Italy's Marco Materazzi, apparently, is expert in this most useful area of sports competition. He calls Zidane his "hero" in a newspaper interview, but that didn't call a halt to the psychological excavation project. Materazzi just kept digging and digging, no doubt the whole game long, and eventually struck a gusher of adrenaline in overtime.

Goals, sure, they're nice enough, but maybe there should be a shout of exclamation for the perfectly-executed goad as well. GOOOOOOOOAD!

Muhammad Ali, of course, is the gold standard for trash-talkers. The Louisville Lip, they called him. Charles Barkley, who throws words around like elbows, isn't fit to carry Ali's spit bucket. Same goes for Terrell Owens, who is more effective with stage props and dramatic gestures than the witty retort. T.O. is no modern master, but merely the best that we've got at the moment.

Michael Jordan and Larry Bird were well known for getting inside the heads of opponents with snide remarks and malicious mumbles. You could talk back to them but that consistently turned out badly. Very badly.

More devious, though, is the stealth slimer. Nobody suspects him. Nobody believes the accusations against him.

Tyson Chandler of the New Orleans Hornets claims that Yao Ming has a mouth on him that just won't quit.

"He told me he was going to make me swallow my mouthpiece," Chandler said. "He can speak English better than he lets on."

Zidane's tormentor, similarly, must have a working knowledge of French, or at least the more colorful phrases. This is the mental torture of trash-talking, just as during World War II Japanese soldiers were trained to shout disparaging remarks about Babe Ruth across enemy lines.

The payoff to all of this is getting a top athlete to retaliate and get ejected from a game, or else take himself out of the game symbolically by retreating into a shell, wounded and confused. Counterpunching skill is what's needed most, and for that we turn to Winston Churchill. Lousy 40 time, England's paunchy prime minister, but a supernaturally quick wit.

Once in the 1920s, Lady Astor was shocked to find Sir Winston drunk in public, and told him so.

"Yes," Churchill said, admitting his inebriation, "and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober."

Could have head-butted the old bag instead, but Zidanity was not Churchill's style. He talked back.

He played on.

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rockingsoul

Wow, now that is something unexpected.

kingkow

wow that dude can surely make stuff up.

Chandler once said the coaching team of bulls were quiet on him but check out Scott Skiles Defence saying that put "alot of effort into one guy".

O ya Chandler didn't go to college and thats probably why he might have mistaken Yao's kind words as intimidations

munco

Yao and Chandler are good friends. This quote was posted a while back and it was just some good old trash talke amongst pals.

RocketForever

Is it good or bad if that really has happened? I say good.

RocketForever

Good friends talk trash to one another too. I have wanted to punch my best buddy a few times before on the basketball court because of his fouled mouth.

arno_ed

Am i the only one who doesn't understand this, did they expect the US soldiers to jump in rage and run towards the evil person who offended babe Ruth (also did this really happen???)

Rob English

Yeah....suuuuuuuuure he did...... threatening to make somebody swallow their mouthpiece sure sounds awfully kind to my ears. Kind, my ass! Sounds like Yao made his point Loud and Clear.

Unless you were out on the court eavesdropping that day, don't be assuming anything.

BTW, I might need an enigma machine to decipher whatever the heck you said in the rest of your post.

BigM

as someone else said, i think they know each other since before the nba pretty well, if not actual friends. if that's the case i think yao felt comfortable enough to half-way jokingly say something like that to chandler. now if it was wallace or shaq, instead of chandler saying this, it'd be a lot more interesting.

that said, i don't know how much trash yao actually talks, but i've long been contesting that the guy is far from soft. he's a man out there.

DribbleHooper

Don't know if that would help; Enigma was a German machine.

Maybe it's Martian.

cenbo416

You are bored.

OswegosFinest

Just found this because I was bored.

http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1:130950253/Yaos+been+known+to+talk+some+trash~R~(Sports).html?refid=SEO

With that in mind, Tyson Chandler was asked Monday if Yao ever does any trash talking.

"He does with me a little bit, because I've known him since I was like 14," Chandler said. "Whenever I come on the floor, he's definitely got something to say. Last time, he told me he was going to make me swallow my mouthpiece." So, I guess it's what others said and it's just friend's being competitive.

pryuen

Well, for all Yao Ming die hard fans, we all know that one of the earliest NBA players that "inspired" and instilled confidence in Yao Ming was Tyson Chandler.

They were participants back in 1998 at the Nike High Five America program in San Diego.

At that time, Yao Ming was only 18 years old, and it was there that for the first time he realized that maybe one day he could play basketball and compete in NBA; there he met and dueled it out with Tyson Chandler. In a 1-on-1 duel between Yao Ming and Chandler, despite the physcial and aggressive push-out and tackle of Chandler, Yao Ming just shoke him off easily and made 3 out of 4 fadeway jumpers over Chandler. The coach shouted on Yao Ming to stop using fadeaway jumpers. Yao rebuked: "Michael Jordan used it often. Why can't I do the same ???" That made everyone laughed , and Yao then made another one over the head of Chandler.

pryuen

Well anyone of you heard that Tomato story as relayed to the Chinese reporters by Steve Francis ??

In one of these visits to Beijing, Steve Francis asked the Chinese reporters whether Yao Ming likes to eat tomatos. The Chinese reporters were puzzled and asked why ? Francis said: Yao Ming always murmured "Tomato" when he missed a free throw, comitted an unintentional foul or missed a dunk.

The Chinese reporters all roared with laughter.....That is because Yao Ming was cursing Ta Ma De 他妈的 (literally mean God damn it) in Mandarin !!!

Harrisment

Did Yao go to college?

Originally Posted by DaDream You no be knowing what you be talking about. Yao is greatest man of all times and CBA is what made him be the great in greatest. CBA is like the perch where a great eagle perched with power claws. May NBA burn in hell for causing these injuries to the man who should be of the president of the world

Lil Pun

Good question. I don't believe so because weren't they saying he was the first international born player selected #1 overall that hadn't gone to college? Maybe it was college in the U.S. but I am not sure.

rn_xw

Yao never went to college.

OddsOn

Here is a quote from Yao's book "Yao - Life in Two Worlds"

"I want my English to get better so I can talk better trash, too. In the Asian Championships against South Korea, I blocked a 3-point attempt right in front of their bench and yelled in English, "Get out of my way!". I know thats not very good trash talking, but I'm not sure if the South Korean players understood me, anyway. Like every young Chinese player, I was taught not to use trash talk on the court, not to get mad, not to do anything except play basketball. In China we don't really understand what trash talk is. We're not even supposed to curse. Now I think that's impossible for me. I really like talking on the court. When I played in exhibition games against the Melbourne Tigers from Australia before the 2003 Asian Championships, I talked a lot to the Tigers center, Mark Bradtke. We kept challenging each other, talking about who would have the most offensive rebounds, who would make more jump shots, things like that."

"Regardless of whether I am in China or the U.S., I'm going to be talking on the court from now on."

arjun

omg thats freakin hilarious