Orlando fans feeling the torture ... Orlando Sentinel

<a href="http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orl-sptbianchi27042705apr27,1,7540125.column?coll=orl-sports-headlines&ctrack=2&cset=true"><font size="+1">Ex-Magic stars in playoffs can drive fans crazy</font></a>
Mike Bianchi - Orlando Sentinel - Published April 27, 2005

It's time once again for our annual torture and torment session.

And the thing is, we don't even need to flog your shins with a rattan bar.

Or drive bamboo shoots under anyone's fingernails.

No, all we have to do to antagonize fans and cause extreme mental anguish to Magic management is to come up with the "All Coulda-Woulda-Shoulda Ex-Magic Playoff Team."

Oh, sure, just about every NBA franchise lets great players slip away. The Washington Wizards, for instance, had Ben Wallace, Rasheed Wallace, Chris Webber and Richard Hamilton on their roster at different times. But I am here to declare today that no NBA team has been deserted by more superstars or discarded more raw talent than your Orlando Magic.

We live in the capital of make-believe and root for a team of might-have-beens. The City Beautiful? Hah. We are the City Fruiti-ful. We provide the fruit, and it ripens to perfection elsewhere. How many other franchises have the dubious distinction of being the former home of two MVP candidates and three of the NBA's top 10 players -- Shaq, T-Mac and Ben Wallace?

We can debate ad nauseum why these players left, but there is no argument that they are thriving without the Magic -- and the Magic are languishing without them. Players do their time here; they reach their prime somewhere else.

You want to root for Magic players in the playoffs? It's easy -- if you can overlook the fact that they're now wearing other uniforms. The Magic may not have a legitimate center on their roster now, but they once had the two best big men in the East -- Shaq Daddy and Big Ben.

They also can lay claim to one of the best point guards in the playoffs (Chauncey Billups, Detroit Pistons), one of the best 3-point shooters (Cuttino Mobley, Sacramento Kings) and two of the hottest coaches (the Chicago Bulls' Scott Skiles and the Boston Celtics' Doc Rivers).

What is it -- some sort of black Magic reverse curse? The Magic fire Rivers as coach last year, and he leads the Celtics to their first division title in 13 years. They fail to hire Skiles, a former Magic player who then is tabbed by Chicago and leads the Bulls to their first postseason since Michael Jordan left in 1998.

And speaking of Jordan, T-Mac now is being compared to His Airness in Houston. Could it be any more sickening for Magic fans than to watch T-Mac soaring and dunking over 7-foot-6 Shawn Bradley and then hitting the game-winner to give the underdog Rockets a 2-0 lead over the Dallas Mavericks? What happened to that selfish, one-dimensional, no-defense-playing Me-Mac who quit on the Magic last year? Well, he had 28 points, 10 assists, eight rebounds, three blocked shots and three steals in Game 2.

And afterward, Houston Chronicle columnist John Lopez wrote that McGrady "was taking more steps toward reaching a Jordanesque kind of place, where everyone knows the ball will be in his hands, the last shot will be his, and there is nothing anyone can do about it."

We could say the game comes much easier for T-Mac now that he's able to throw the ball inside to Yao Ming (13-of-14 from the field, 7-of-7 from the line and 33 points in Game 2) rather than when he used to toss it in to Steven "Hands of Stone" Hunter.

Except Hunter is flourishing, too, now that he's left Orlando. He scored 16 points for the top-seeded Phoenix Suns in their Game 1 playoff victory over Memphis.

The Grizzlies? They were led by former Magic man Mike Miller (19 points, 7-of-10 from the floor).

I could go on with this torture treatment, but I won't. From now on, I'll just resort to electric shock.

It's much more humane.




How sweet it is ...