[Coming out] Story of an Incestious Family Survivor

Well damn. Thanks for sharing this deeply personal situation.

I think you should seek a support group for it because this isn't the place that'll be able to handle something of this matter, and you might be too smart or defensive for a shrink.

But it happened, and talking to other people who have lived your shoes could be valuable for laying some things to rest and accepting whatever needs to be accepted.

Not sure what else I can say, but you're lucky to have immediate family you can trust and rely upon. Opening up to what you've shared to those who deserve it will be rewarding while terrifying way to increase that circle of trust.

 

Of all the things to post on a public internet message boards, personally, I don't think this is one of them. If I were you I'd feel much more comfortable disclosing this info privately to like a therapist or shrink or something.

Not trying to be an ass, but even though you personally haven't done anything taboo (like commit incest) I would not feel comfortable having this kind of information documented out there.

 

I didn't even know that was seriously a thing. I'm sure that took a lot of courage to post. Kind of makes the niece thing look incredibly inappropriate and destructive though.

 

Glad you and she escaped. My mother went through a similar hell with her father. When her mother died, my grandfather tried to coerce my mom into sexual relations-- this after my mom had had three kids!

My mother battled alcoholism all her adult life-- which makes me think that her father had abused her as a young girl. She only had the courage to tell me about the later pressure he had put on her as an adult. She never saw her dad for the last 30 years of his life.

When I moved to NC at age 20, I expressed a natural interest in seeing my grandfather as I was readying to drive from TX to NC through LA where he lived. It had been a dozen years or so since I had seen him and no one talked of him. That is the point where my Mother told me what had happened between them following my grandmother's death. She encouraged me to see him, so I did.

It was kind of awkward. First words out of his mother were to protest his innocence. I quieted him and simply said I wanted to talk about other things on this visit. That turns out to be the only time I saw him before he died a few years later.

I fear that there are many more stories out there like yours than we would expect there to be.

 

I would have probably not shared this here if I were you, as you are not entirely anonymous to many on here and this is very personal. I saw the whole niece thread merely as a joke, apparently it is not. Just make sure not to repeat the mistakes of others, you are too good for that. Wish you all the best.

 

I don't know what people can say in response to that. If you feel like you need to put it out there, and obviously you did, so be it and I hope it helps. You've changed my day.

 

Well, your father is/was a rapist so that goes beyond just incest. It's some sick men out there so I don't know what can prevent that other than educating children to tell someone when it happens.

As far as your brothers and sisters... That doesn't seem like a Blue Lagoon situation, more like a monkey see monkey do situation. Maybe things would have been different if you guys were with your mother.

As far as your level of protection for your sisters and nieces... My Cracker Jack box psychology degree leads me to believe that's because you are guilty for leaving your little sister there with your father.

I didn't read your other thread about your nieces but if your brothers have any daughters my eyebrow would be raised.

 

Wow,

So sorry HP.

I would have never shared that on a message board, but good luck to you.

DD

 

I don't know what to say other than I'm glad you made it out.

 

I don't understand why you would make that thread about your niece and continue to post in it etc. If your family had this history. I'm not implying you did anything wrong. But I question the psychology of that. Meaning if you came from a past like that and are 100% cognasant that it is wrong. I would be repulsed to have anyone question me like they were doing in that thread. I would take the advice of others and talk to a professional, perhaps include your sister if it is possible. Maybe they can help you understand how inappropriate that is. And also if you are posting this in a public forum you seem to have a need to not keep this bottled up.

Good luck

 

if you say so. i dont think in any way whatsoever is it normal human behavior to do what i wrote in my last post. but sure, cheers.

 

Since you insist on bumping this thread...

Did you bonk that niece?