If you say you weren't a Tiffany fan, you are lying through your teeth

Better than Taylor Swift?

 

Swift, Perry and Adele better

 

We all love Tiffany and every other female singer who is completely clueless on how to write a song and relies on autotune to mask their lack of singing ability. Tiffany is a musical artist of the highest caliber, and we all bow to her.

Sincerely:

Chrissie Hynde
Ann and Nancy Wilson
Pat Benatar
Joni Mitchell
Stevie Nicks
Christine McVie
Suzanne Vega
Natalie Merchant
Tracy Chapman
Joan Jett
Deborah Harry
Tori Amos
Amy Ray
Emily Saliers

and Taylor Swift (although, to be honest, a junior high student can write better lyrics than many of hers- musically, though, yeah, she's good)

 

Taylor Swift's music is very very bad. Just because its popular does not mean it isn't generic pop garbage that doesn't even relate to her real life. She's said it herself.

Also, I doubt she writes her own music.

 

Tiffany couldn't even write a phrase for something like this:

THE MID TWENTY JOYS AROUND A HEART THAT'S BLACK AND BLUE
TATTOOED LOVE BOYS
I TORE MY KNEES UP GETTING TO YOU
'CAUSE I NEEDED
TO FIND OUT WHAT THE THING WAS FOR
BEEN READING
BUT MAN THE TIME CAME TO EXPLORE
I WENT APEWIRE 'CAUSE I THOUGHT
LIKE I'D LIKE IT LITTLE TEASE
BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT
BUT YOU MESS WITH THE GOODS DOLL, HONEY YOU GOTTA PAY, YEAH
A GOOD TIME WAS GUARANTEED FOR ONE AND ALL
THE TATTOOS DID TARGET PRACTICE IN THE HALL
WHILE WAITING FOR THEIR NUMBER TO GET CALLED OUT
I, I, I, I FOUND OUT WHAT THE WAIT WAS ABOUT
I WAS A GOOD TIME, YEAH, I GOT PRETTY GOOD
AT CHANGING TYRES UPSTAIRS BRO
I SHOT MY MOUTH OFF AND YOU SHOWED ME WHAT THAT HOLE WAS FOR
NOW I SEE YOU
ALL IMPRESSED AND HALF UNDRESSED
YOU GOT PAINT STICK ALL OVER THE SCARS AND LUMPS AND BUMPS
TATTOOED LOVE BOYS
HAVE GOT YOU WHERE I USED TO LAY
WELL HA HA TOO BAD, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY
"STOP SNIVELLIN', YOU'RE GONNA MAKE SOME PLASTIC SURGEON A RICH MAN"
OH, BUT THE PRESTIGE AND THE GLORY
ANOTHER HUMAN INTEREST STORY
YOU ARE THAT

 

I am old enough to remember that Tiffany owes her entire existence to Tommy James and shopping malls. She is the textbook definition of a low-talent, one-hit wonder. Debbie Gibson is Joni Mitchell's heir apparent compared to Tiffany. I grew up on Heart and Blondie and The Pretenders, all of whom are so much better than Iffany it's completely laughable except to people like you. And in terms of singers who don't write most of their songs, yeah, Tiffany's right up there with Aretha Franklin, Tina Turner and...OK, Joan Jett. Yep. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has reserved a place for her.

She was good eye candy when I was in high school, though. But, then again, we had Debbie Gibson, which made Iffany irrelevant.

 

Yeah, what, you're not a nerd for worshipping Iffany. All this time, the great artist of the latter half of the 20th century was staring me right in the face. That's it, you've convinced me- out goes Parallel Lines, Blue, In My Tribe, Coat of Many Colors, and Tusk- once you've heard Iffany, you've heard it all.


"Tiffany was my inspiration."

Sincerely,

 

"I worship Iffany, too!"

 

"Iffany Rules!"

 

"Tiffany's? Nice store. Wait, what was the question?"

 

Nah, just like having fun with What. Musical tastes are what they are- you can like the music of a low-talent, I-wouldn't-know-how-to-write-a-verse-to-save-my-life artist like Tiffany- it's all personal taste. Heck, many of my favorite songs in the 60s came from The Ronettes, and I don't think Ronnie Spector wrote any of her stuff, either. But that lady could sing, though (she's the first picture I posted). I don't care about his personal taste- I do think it's laughable him trying to guess my age when I grew up on music he has no idea existed. Put it this way, I was born the year that the original "I Think We're Alone Now" from Tommy James and the Shondells was recorded and released (1967).

 

It does- if you're illiterate (do you need me to define that for you?)