I’m posting this knowing we can be ridiculed, judged, and that our privacy may be invaded. It’s tough, but I would do anything for my wife so here it is. She has started a GO FUND me account to raise money to continue paying for our lawyer to fight for visitation of her son. The link is below and if any questions may arise, please either PM or post here. Any donation is appreciated and I will try to answer every question with an open mind and heart. Thank you in advance. http://www.gofundme.com/mkplto
My first thought upon reading was, if the aunt and uncle do not have formal custody, why not just contact the police and tell them her son is being unlawfully kept there? But since you mentioned there's an ongoing legal battle I assume they do have some sort of custody arrangement and that this is already well past that. I'll try to contribute if I can, and y'all have my best wishes. I'm still shocked that any so-called family members could do that and pass themselves off as the parents. That's shameful.
I need to know more of your story before I can back you. When I was a kid, my grandparents scooped me up when I was a baby from my druggie mother. She 'cleaned up' and ended up taking me back when I was 7. However, she relapsed throughout my life and messed me up for a long time. I had serious separation, abandonment and anger issues. I don't even talk to her now because a few years ago, while she was living with me, she came home high as a kite and I decided I'd had enough and didn't want that around my family. I don't regret the decision one iota. Overall, I believe I would have been better off living with my grandparents, in stability and insulated from craziness, until I was 18, even though at the time I wanted more than anything to live with her. Kids need stability and love in life. Being jerked around by adults is the last thing they ever need. All of that said, I AM sensitive to your plight, because as a parent now I know that I want nothing more than to be with my child. But please fill us in.
Went through something similar as a kid, not so much instability as just a fairly straightforward divorce and custody process drawn out due to a lot of mutual resentment and venom that my parents lacked the tact or self-restraint to keep to themselves. Spoiler Mom telling me that, because my dad had accidental death insurance policies on her, he was trying to kill her. Spoiler Dad, on multiple occasions, having me call my mother to ask her why "she didn't want me" for Christmas, Spring Break, or whatever holiday he had some middle-aged booty call lined up for. Spoiler My mother, after church, driving us to our father's mistress's house to "wish her a happy Easter." Spoiler Mom, as I was waiting for the bus on the last day of fifth grade, bashing dad on the skull with a camcorder tripod, then telling me not to call 9-1-1 because "he's not hurt." Again, probably nothing as bad as the other scenarios, but enough to know that there are two sides to every story, especially custody battles.
Damn...that and your spoilered signature tells me you've gone through a crap load of emotional parent trauma
Ok, here it goes: My wife, around 8 years ago, was not in a good place in her life. She asked her aunt and uncle if they would consider taking care of her son for a bit while she gets her life together. My wife had no place to live and didn’t want her child to be going from place to place. Although it killed her, she knew that was the right thing to do. So, at first, the aunt and uncle agreed. My wife said she would go to their house every night to give her son a bath, homework, and put him to sleep. Then, her uncle visited her at work to have her sign documents and write a letter the next day. My wife, trusting her uncle (they raised her), just signed and didn’t read. Her uncle told her the reason for the documents was in case he had to go to the hospital; they could take him (her son). Also, he told her to write a letter saying she could no longer care for her son (he told her exactly what to say in letter), sign it, and give it to him. She did. After this, my wife tried to go over a few times to visit her son, and they refused her visitation. Basically, the aunt and uncle had filed for custody, and my wife unknowingly, had helped them. They claimed to not have her address so she never received a copy of the court order. Although, not an excuse, she should have known better, that’s for sure. She has beaten herself up for it numerous times; even trying to commit suicide about 2 years ago. Her ENTIRE family had stopped talking to her for a while (due to this incident), growing up, her father was in jail all the time, her mom dumped her when she was 2. She’s had a rough life. We hired a lawyer about 5 years ago, she was worthless. My wife and the aunt who has the kid met for lunch almost monthly for a while. My wife would bring gifts for his birthday, Christmas, Easter…whatever. She always made sure to buy him lots of things. My wife would inquire about counseling, visiting, getting to know each other again but was always rejected. Basically, the aunt and uncle took down the pictures of my wife in their house, and won’t let the kid talk about my wife or won’t let anyone else bring her up. They keep a tight lip about her. They basically tried to erase her. My wife has waited patiently on their time so they can tell the kid about her. However, that time has never come. He’s fixing to be 12 now. Fast track to Monday the 19th, we hired a lawyer that King of 40 Acres recommended (so he can vouch that this real). He told us more in our consultation fee than our previous lawyer had for a LOT more money. My wife is fighting for modification of the Court Order so she can have set days to visit her son. Currently, because she didn’t show up to court for the original order, the visitation is purely what the Uncle agrees to, which is obviously nothing. She is not fighting for custody because she doesn’t want to rip him out of his home. She knows what that feels like and refuses to do that. We go to mediation, and the only offer the aunt and uncle give is for my wife to terminate her rights and let them adopt her son. In 4 hours, that’s all they could say. The Uncle is a VERY Stubborn man. He refuses to do anything else. So, because she didn’t agree to terminate her rights, he’s filing suit to terminate her rights. They say that she has never tried, which is so very untrue. I won’t say what evidence we have, but it overwhelming, and we will win in court, just need to get there. I’ll tell you that my wife has done a 180 and I’m so very proud of her. She’s a lot stronger; she has her head on straight, has reconciled with most of her family, and is the kindest person you can ever meet. I’ve learned a lot from her. It’s hard to put this on the net…so please be nice. I will answer any questions given. Thanks.
Good Lord its so nice to get through a thread without all the and then seeing his ridiculous condescending posts quoted by someone. Once again, Thank you Clutch!!!!
Tim, sorry to hear what your wife and you are going through. From what I know, courts can't terminate your wife's rights unless she gives up that right or they can prove that they tried to contact her and she never responded. Neither sounds like the case here. For whatever reason, your wife let the relatives raise him and they are wrong to try to cut her off, because she has said she tried to stay in his life. After years of being removed, it sounds like the least tramautic move would be visitation, gradually returning full parental rights to the mom. Of course, this just makes to much sense to me. I hope it all works out for you. Clutchfans has been very generous to me helping out my mother in her time of need. I will be donating when i get paid next week.
Thanks for the kind words Falcons Talon. I really appreciate them and will pass them along to my wife. Thank you so much for your donation.
Yeah, that's probably coming off of the signature. And all that other crap happened 20+ years ago, the thread just reminded me how cynical I tend to be of child custody and divorce proceedings.
