Last night, I found out my brother's wife left him after nearly 12 years of marriage. It was for no good reason other than she basically didn't feel like being married any more. My honest opinion is that she's been cheating on him for some time. She has a male workout partner who recently separated from his wife. She started going to church with him, after not having attended church regularly as long as I've known her (about 15 years). Lately, she had been going out a lot after work for drinks (allegedly). Last night, she told him she was going for one drink and would be home early. She didn't get home until after 9. He was annoyed with her but didn't say anything because he's always made it a point to make sure she had her freedom. They don't have kids but were trying as recently as 6 months ago. Now, though, she claims she's felt this way for 3 years. They both have had some issues lately with work and it's caused some undue stress. My brother wanted to do work things out. She wants to run away. She's a ******* coward. I'm pissed off and absolutely crushed for my brother. He's done nothing but good for her. He's supported her financially and in every other aspect of their lives...including all of her health issues. He's been a good husband. She's a c***. I'm sure there's more to it. But from all I know, this is totally on her. I've told him not to do anything stupid. I told him to take the rest of the week off from work and go to our parents. Just get out of their apartment and attempt to chill out some. Not looking for sympathy or even replies. Just wanted to type out what I can't talk to the people I'm currently around about. I'm at a work function out of state and won't be home until Sunday. Wish there was more I could do for my little brother.
The wonderful thing is that they didn't have kids. Just cut her loose and move on. There are plenty of females out here. Zyzz is here for him.
If she's done there is no reason for him to try to push for resolution cause there will never be one. I made up my mind to leave my ex-wife because I had, had it. Nothing anyone said or did changed that and we ultimately divorced. People change, things change. There's always that forbidden fruit people chase. As they say the grass is not always greener on the other side, but he should let her find that out for herself. If she's doing her, he should do him. That's my advice.
it sucks for your brother but you can't make anyone love you. if there's a silver lining it's that she didn't get pregnant.
Sorry man....sounds messed up. It looks like she might have been/ is having an affair with that "workout/ church" partner. Only positive thing is that there aren't any kids involved. If she wants to go, then he needs to let her go and find a woman that wants him for him. Karma is a b!tch and if she is leaving her husband for that dude; it usually bites ya in the @ss down the line. Wishing your brother good luck...sucks
Damn, that sucks. 12 years too... But you mentioned no kids, and an apartment... So I'd assume that means no custody or property battles. That's a plus, I guess.
Are different sex workout partners really a thing? I can understand in a crossfit gym maybe, but it's not something I've seen in almost 2 years at 24 and 4 years at LA.
If I could use this as a vent thread as well. My best buddies special needs(down syndrome) sister is 28 years old, working a full time work load at starbucks sweeping floors. There are people with no excuses living off of welfare, and living well. LIKE WTF. OP, I am sorry to hear that, but your brother is better off this happened. She will most likely get left by the guy and end up alone.
Yea man, hate to say it this way, but your brother is getting off easy. If she's done, then he should move on as well. Get a tidy divorce and go your separate ways. It may not seem like it now, but much happier days will be ahead for him.
I agree with all of you...but it's impossible to tell him to move on less than 24 hours since she left. He's not a dependent person, but he's also never lived by himself. Yeah, he's getting off easy in terms of no kids and most of what they had was because of him, but he never loved her less. That's what will take him a long time to come to terms with.
It's an awful awful thing to go through, especially when you didn't want it to end. Even if deep down you know you deserve better and will find better, I can't imagine there's too many worse feelings in the world. Nearly 7 years later, I still remember the exact way I felt when I walked into my apartment and slowly realized all her stuff was gone. BUT, there are things he will learn from this and sooner or later, he a) will start to realize how much better off he is and b) will find someone that loves him like he deserves and c) will have learned lessons from this marriage that will make him an amazing husband to his next wife and hopefully a father to his kid. I will say, don't talk **** about her to him. Let him do that when he's ready. Focus on making him happy, but talking negative about her will not help him heal. At least it didn't me. It just made me think I was such an idiot for loving her in the first place. Good luck to your brother.
Have you thought maybe they were never a good match to begin with? It sounds like your brother was working too hard to keep their relationship going and she probably stuck it out because he took care of her so much and it felt comfortable, and not because he was "the one" for her. It probably dawned on her now that she could be more happy with someone else and she should get out before having kids. Of course, she's still a coward for ending things that way, but perhaps there were red flags (of them not being a good match) that your brother should have seen through the years. He'll probably be better off, once he moves on with someone else.
Hope everything works out for your brother leroy, sounds like a good man whose ex-wife didn't appreciate him enough. Better days are ahead.
