Forewarned: this will be a long post. So the story starts with me moving in with a couple of girls (I'm 26 - they're 24 and 23) into a 3 bedroom apartment 2 weeks ago. Really cool, friendly and attractive girls. I thought it would be awkward but wasn't at all due to their personalities. I figured I'd be in my room on my computer at night after work but for the first week and a half we all just chilled in the living room watching tv and talking. During these talks they had their female talks about guys and what not. A big thing I picked up on was that they're both single and they both on occasions bring guys back to the apartment (not random ones from a night out - guys they know... but still sleep with) The two of them started a detox diet a week ago and I figured I may as well jump in on it since they're going to be cooking and making all the food - no trouble at all! So during this first week and a half one girl in particular (I have been talking to more often as she's home more than the other + she was the one I initially met the first couple of times) would make my breakfast when doing hers, pack my lunch when doing hers, cook my dinner when doing hers. I'd always be in the kitchen cleaning everything up after she was done and offering to do more but she'd want none of it. Now this girl is going to Italy next year to live for a minimum of 6 months, she has said repeatedly in her girl talks that she can't get into anything with a guy because that's just going to disrupt her next year when she wants to go etc etc. She talks about how she has a 'work boyfriend' even though he doesn't know she exists.. Things of this sort which give off a strong impression that she isn't interested in me. Fast forward to the second thursday I'm there and I have a day off work. They're both out so I invite a female over, and the rest they say, is history. The two girls have gotten home and asked what I got up to so since it's a fairly open household I told them I had a female over. Ever since then (it's now been 4 days) this one girl has changed drastically. (the other doesn't care at all and acts the exact same as beforehand) I know they're little things, but comparing to how it was before that Thursday - it's a dramatic difference. She no longer cooks me breakfast, no lunch, no dinner. Doesn't say goodnight when going to bed. This past weekend (usually she'd chill out on the lounge with her laptop) she spent holed up in her room with the door closed. Question: What.. the... F? I feel it's a crazy awkward situation because I'm not trying to be insensitive and think 'well is it her time of the month?', but at the same time I'm not wanting to overstep my boundary and assume she is interested in me and is hurt by me bringing a girl over... because she's said numerous things to the contrary AND had slept with a guy only a few days before I had moved in (has seen that guy another two times - but of those two times never brought him upstairs even though he's asked to) Do I just ask her what's up? What do I follow up with when her answer is 'I'm fine' or something similar? I can't just straight out ask something along the lines of 'are you annoyed I had a girl over' because if she says yes that just means I can't again in the future. Any BBS people been in similar situations? This is the first time I've been living with females - since I only have older brothers. Please offer your opinions and views.
Talk to your other roommate, see what's up. You could ask her why she hasn't been cooking you breakfast lately, see how she responds and try to read her.
She got pissed since you said you had a girl over. End of story lesson learned. You never mention any girl.
I lived in a 4 bedroom apartment with 3 girls for 3 months before my senior year. It was awful. Only one was bangable but she was gone pretty much the whole time (she was the one who showed me the apt and I had visions of threesomes with her and my then gf dancing in my head). The others, who I never met until I moved in, were fat and/or ugly. And they were loud, dirty, and b****y. It was a bad three months. Anyway, on to your story: why do you care what she thinks? I think I missed the part where you explain why her jealously is upsetting to you. I mean, if it's cuz you want to give her the D then ok. Or if it's cuz you still want her to make your food, that's understandable too. But other than that I think just laying back and giving her time to get over her jealousy might be best.
I'm thinking about maybe asking her if she wants to go for a walk or something - and asking her during that. No rooms to run into or doors to slam if it came to it.. I considered that initially. But they're both really good friends, I have a feeling she'd play dumb - then go to the other female and spill the beans straight away. I don't want to give her another reason to be annoyed "why'd you go behind my back" etc etc I've now learned this. Although I figured since they openly talk about how they bring guys home, there wouldn't be any double standard. Does it sound like this? I wish it was ha. Interesting.. I can definitely see something like that happening. But then again. Assumption is the mother of all F ups. I care because it was an awesome household for the first few weeks. They were both so cool, easy to talk to, sit around and bum out with. Two straight weekends I haven't had any alcohol nor have had the slightest urge to just chilling with them (whereas that had been a huge struggle ever since I left the Defence Force) Hahah the food thing isn't really a problem, because I always felt bad about her always doing it.
Jealousy can be good. You're alpha. She is playing tough right now. Don't worry you;ll be able to give her the D sooner or later. If not call me, I can help/.
OP, I just read this part again. It sounds to me like she just wanted a FWB kinda relationship. She doesn't want any committment and doesn't want you think that it is anything serious since she will be leaving shortly. She doesn't want to get emotionally attached and make it weird but just FWB IMO
Ofcourse you can keep having girls over. You pay rent to live there, you can do whatever you want. She brings guys over, so I wouldn't see how it could be justified that you couldn't. Just ask if it was a problem. I know that can look rather harsh, but its good to be upfront.
wait until the 3rd roommate is out and knock on her door buck-naked. That's the only solution. Make sure to come back and tell us what happens.
The answer is different if you want to bang them. She's testing you by making you confront her. How you confront will expose how you think of her. Unfair or not, she wants you to take initiative for her own confusion and ambiguity (women like to hedge). Be rebellious and upfront if you want to have something more. If not, let your dick fall off by bending over backwards to preserve the peace. They'll love you, but you'll be friend zoned by virtue of them having one up on you. Either way, in your talk draw the line of having women friends over. Say flat out that's gonna happen...either as a thing you do to let them conquer it or just to set some ground rules. It'll pretty much be how you approach the subject of why she changed. Over drinks means something more. Over food you cook for her means you're trying too hard to be friendzoned but she'll take as a resumption of the way things were. If you want something more, you could say something like it'll suck to see her leave for half a year and mention it's not only the food you'll miss. Make it less obvious or cheesy and I think the drinks will help that. If FWB is too complicating for ****ting where you eat, you could pretend like none of that happened and try to get her to double date with her boy guest. Go all out to be nice but explicitly put her in some friendzone. She'll pretend like nothing happened but she'll secretly hate you for it. But I think that's the most boring and least risky option that you'll likely regret in the long run. There will always be a chance of crazy in the attractive ones. Being young lessons the impact of that...
