This thread is going to be a pointless, long read, so don't bother if you're anything other than bored. I've been posting on this board since I was 14. I consider myself to be above average intellect, which I think, at times, leads people to think I'm creepy. My sense of humor is amorphic. At times I'm sarcastic (although people can hardly tell when I'm sarcastic, making them think I'm either dumb or weird), other times I toil in childish humor. I love a good toilet humor-type joke, and sometimes, especially the older I get, I am downright cynical(I find the dark-side of human nature to be one of the most fascinating things in the world). Other times, jokes that I try to make involve multiple layers, and are either not funny, or complex and indecipherable. I'm not a conspiracy theorist (you will never convince me that Lee Harvey Oswald was anything but guilty, and killed JFK by himself), but I think some things conspiracists harp on are wildly fascinating (such as extraterrestrial life). There are many things in life that are unexplainable, but I still try to rationalize everything. Like I said, my personality, and self-described nerdiness makes people think I'm weird, I fear. The fact that I rarely read anything other than non-fiction books, I think also rubs people the wrong way. Growing up, my family didn't really have a ton of money. My parents divorced when I was 12 or 13, and my mom had not held a job since I was about 10. When my parents split, I went to live with my mom. Why? I have no idea. Other than that's where my brother went. My mother had no income other than child support, and whatever money my 18 year-old sister (who was in college full-time, and working at McDonald's nearly full-time) could afford to "lend" her. I've posted about my mom here, before. Although she will not seem like a good mother, I still love her dearly. Like I said, she hasn't had a full-time job (longer than 4 months, maybe) in the past 13 years, at least. She has been a total wreck since her father died. That was extremely hard on her, and I've been able to see this since it happened (I think I was 10). She has many psychological issues, and would probably be a pretty great study for a budding psychologist studying post-traumatic stress disorder (the trauma being losing her father). Neither she, nor my step-dad (which was the household that I lived in from about 13 until I moved out at 20), have held jobs (like I said before) since I lived with them. My step-dad is disabled and gets a disability check each month. That is their only source of income. They are constantly looking for the next get rich quick scheme, and have tried a few things. Last year they sold hot dogs at fairs and such. This year, they might sell decorative black boards at the same fairs (you can laugh, because I did when they told me). They live off of an income of about 10 grand a year. Maybe this is too personal, but I've been hiding from that issue for about 10 years too long, and I want to be open about my past with more people in my life. It feels good just to type that here. I know my parents sound like lowlifes to most of you, but I love them dearly, and they are great people. They have, in large part, help shape my morals and personality into what it is today. I am thankful towards them, but in a lot of different ways, I think than most normal offspring are to their parents. They showed me what it's like to struggle, and even though you may struggle, there are many things in life that you still should take pleasure in. In a way, they helped me live at what I believe will be my low point of life, and since then, I've been appreciative of the little things in life. It's helped my patience immensely. Even though, I'm typing this objectively (or as objectively as one can), I wish that if my parents read this, they would not be upset, but extremely happy to have taught me the way they did. I know that would not be the case with my mom, though. I am 23 years-old. I'm married to the most beautiful person in the world. She is the one person in the world (other than my brother and possibly my sister) that truly understands me. I can let my guard down around her, and she loves me unconditionally for everything I've gone through, and everything that I am. That is an amazing feeling. Sometimes, I feel like there is nothing I can do to truly express how I feel towards her. The passion that I feel is not fully shown by saying "I love you," or waking up two hours earlier than I have to to do little things for her, like get her lunch together for the day, start her car, take our dogs outside so she doesn't have to. I'm not saying that I love her more than anyone else loves anyone in the entire world, but I'm just saying that she means the world to me. There is no way I could imagine life without her. My wife and I, together, at 22 and 23, respectively, own a house, and already make more money, and live more comfortably (in my opinion) than my family ever did. But I feel as though I'm greedy because I want more. My job that I have worked (two years of college) for almost three years basically has me stuck in a range of salaries. I would say middle-of-the-road-type average salaries. But if I stay where I am, I will probably retire making maybe 15 grand more a year than I do now. I don't think that is good enough for me. The crossroads I am at right now, is trying to decide what I want to do about that. I have little to no school loans left, and neither does my wife. Do I want to take on school loans to go back to school for four more years (at least, because I'd be going part-time)? The youth in me says, of course I do. The frugal side of me says, no, I shouldn't because I'm living relatively comfortably now. I just won't be taking any trips to the Bahamas every year where I'm at now. If I were to go back to school, I don't know what it would be for. I have an addictive personality disorder (undiagnosed, unless you consider a self-diagnosis reliable), so I think sometimes it's hard for people that I know to take me seriously when I say I want to do something. They hear me say that I want to get "really into" something, and then that phase lasts a few months, and suddenly I stop. The last thing I did this with was ping pong (I still play, just not as much). The next thing I will be doing this with is healthy outdoor activities, in particular kayaking, and kayak fishing. I think this is the one thing about my personality that bothers my wife the most. This runs in my family, though, and in my opinion, is a genetic thing. I don't drink, mostly because I can't stand the taste of alcohol, but also because I'm pretty sure that my dad's father was an alcoholic and died in his fifties from cirrhosis. This I don't know for sure, and every time I've ever asked my dad, he's kind of side-stepped my question, so I quit asking. Both sides of my family has alcoholics. This sometimes makes it hard for me to meet friends my age. The current school of thought for me would be to try and go back to school to become a medical physicist. There are many reasons as to why I would like this: A.) It would be a way to use my mind to its fullest extent nearly every day at work (something I've really never done) B.) You have to be pretty smart to do this job, and frankly, sometimes dumb people downright irritate me C.) Good money D.)Physics are the one thing in my schooling that I struggled with. I mean, I always made good grades, but it was tough for me to understand it. Something like that would present an extremely healthy challenge for my mind at this point in my life, I feel. If I could do absolutely anything in life, I think I would just write many things for people to read. I would also try and be a singer/songwriter. Unfortunately for me, I lack the hand/eye coordination to really learn an instrument, and I can't really sing all that well, either. I absolutely love listening to music when I'm staying up late at night, though. Sometimes, when I'm by myself doing this, I drift off into my own little existential world. Yeah, that's weird, I know. Sometimes I feel like I have so many thoughts in my head that want to leap out onto a pad of paper that I can't contain them all, or communicate them all. Because of this, I sometimes get nervous around people, and sometimes I have trouble communicating my thoughts in a nature that is understandable. Because of this, I tend to tell long, drawn out stories that people get bored with. The preceding is one of those moments. If you are still reading, I thank you. This type of writing is therapeutic for me, and I would love to actually do more of it. I have these extremely introspective moments sometimes, and I feel sudden bursts and needs to communicate them, but I always feel like there will be no one who cares to read them. In a way, I feel like I could write an autobiography of my brief life so far that would be slightly interesting. At least interesting enough to mildly entertain readers who are bored. I think that makes me a bit narcissistic, though. ANd I'm okay with that. But I can acknowledge it would be a hard sell. Anyways, thank you. It would be cool if others felt like writing some things about themselves, too. I find that interesting to read.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
We all come from different backgrounds, the beauty of life is to take the adversity and make the best out of it. Morals and thought process are shaped all due to our bringing up, a rough childhood will sometimes just lead to prison or death, but there is those times where a child sees he needs to be better than who has came before him/her. It's not wrong to want more, your pursuing happiness. If you work hard for it then you deserve it. I'm not the type to worry or stress over things easily. Perhaps you need to unwind and smoke some bud, it'll cleanse your mind.
I want to start a site called coolstorybro.com which is basically stuff like this. Maybe we should make this the official cool story bro thread . this is a weird statement. A challenge is fine and I am sure you could do it but to do something that is a challenge just because it is a challenge seems hollow. Why not try to run around the block or challenge yourself on something that you can be rewarding more quickly?Why go on an odyssey of 10 years to find maybe you don't like it? Why not challenge yourself to go to the library and really read up about being a medical physicist? I'm not saying you can't do it but it seems really far fetched. It seems like maybe you don't know about it anyway, so why not build closer more near term bridges that you can cross? that are still beneficial and will help you to discover if you want to do that? Plus it may feel rewarding. I mean I want to be a in porno ..so the first thing I might do is maybe work out ,and begin to challenge myself to find a slut I can film with me.. then next building step would be to send that demo tape in to the boys at vivid. That means I am challlenging myself but also working towards something. In the process I will discover whether or not I like p*rn. I think even if its meaningless , building towards something is a good thing. If you do one or 2 things that are important in a week over time you might be educated about being a medical physicist or more 'in the know' about something you want to build towards. mountains creep but they do move. build something and stop farting around talking about it. I think so too but much of the cool stories are not compelling. Unfortunately someone has to die or something exciting has to happen, otherwise it's just a bunch of words- talking about the fly in your soup or the corn in your crap. so would you write to sell ?or write on the side for fun? The 2 are not mutually the same thing. I may want to write about something but it is going to sell? If you are writing some great story for 'therapy' as you put it and then what does it matter if it sells? Perhaps later you could go through your writings and pick out some short stories or turn it into a novel if the story is interesting. maybe it doesn't have to be interesting but is that going to sell? I think so too. That's the one thing about this thread that I appreciate. There are some funny stories and interesting things yet there are also some empty jokeshops on this site. So you probably won't get too much here. I think you have some ADD and I think that you need to build towards a few greater things each week of your life while you sort through it all. Focus on a few things and fight through those. It seems you might lose some time on tangents of action ( I have done the same) and you need to think about channeling those thoughts into buildable action. I think you will feel better about things and down the line you would have been better off than you were today.
I'm not a worrier, nor do I stress very easily. I'm not stressed now, I just wanted to type. I'm a pretty laid back guy. Sometimes, I think too laid back.
Pics or GTFO. Just kidding, good for you. Only advice I have for you (I just turned 23 also) is if you are contemplating going back to school, you should do it now while it's fresh on your mind. The longer you wait it out, the smaller the possibility of actually going back. I would do it now before I start having kids and any free time I would have had would then be used raising a family. Also, if you wanna write, then write. Get some ideas going and see what you can produce. If you think you have something worth reading, then post it to blogs, send it to publishers, etc.
I'm tempted to say..."don't take yourself so seriously" Introspection is great, but don't go so far as to think you are such a unique individual that your experience and insights are somehow superior to others, or that others aren't just as intelligent and introspective and matured through life experience. Many are, but they just don't feel the need to advertise their self-discovery and opinions (which will likely morph over the next 10 years after further experience, discovery, enlightenment, education and introspection anyway). You're on a path. You are considerate. And...you will definately not see things in 10 years as you do now. Avoid becoming an elitist, or intellictual snob, if at all possible.
I agree completely. I apologize if I came off that way. I really wasn't trying to. 10 years from now, I'll look back at this post and laugh. It will probably not matter to me what I typed in here.
I hope my post didn't seem critical or harsh. It just reminded me of myself quite a bit in my late teens. Anytime someone says they consider themselves to have an "above average intellect" it throws up a red flag for me. I felt the same way, but have been fortunate enough to meet some amazing people whose minds I've marveled at. It's both humbling and inspiring. And, of course, everyone has a story....even a cool story, bro.
You are not alone. I think everyone feels like this in some way or another. The way life's experiences impact each person is so individual. I appreciate the thread because this is the kind of conversations I like to have with people. I like to go right for the "heavy stuff" because simply talking about the weather, the super bowl, some girls boobs (well, the last one is pretty interesting)...I just can't get into it. Personally, I realized that I am really not interested in being "fulfilled"' by my job. I treat my job as something I do so that I can do the things I really enjoy. Its a sacrifice, though. I'm probably never going to make $200k/year, but thats fine with me because stuff you buy doesn't really fulfill me either. I enjoy teaching with people, learning with people, and hearing other peoples experiences. So if you're going back to school to try and be "fulfilled" by your job, think about whether a job is something you really care about. For me, its not. I enjoy the 5-9 alot more than the 9-5.
It's called venting. since you shared some with us I'll share with you. In May I will be turning 20, I sometimes can't come to grips that I'm not a teenager no more. I feel obligated to help my family as much as I can. I'm the oldest of 4, so I do have people looking up to me, honestly I haven't done a great job of being a role model. Growing up my parents did whatever they could to make me happy. Both my parents are immigrants, making me the first generation of our family to be born in the US. For the first 10 years of my life I lived in the southwest of Houston. My father wanting a better future for us moved us to the Katy area, where I have lived the other 10 years of my life. I was the goofball at school, well liked and pretty much cool with everyone, even my teachers. I half-assed my way through Highschool, managed to graduate, but since graduating I feel I haven't amounted to anything. Always hanging around the wrong crowd, I landed in jail my SR year, got on probation thinking I could manage it. I didn't tho, once I graduated summer came and I ended up in trouble again, i was incarcerated for 6 months. In jail you really get to know yourself as a person, mentally & spiritually. My dad has been the biggest help in my life, eventho we have butted heads multiple times. He grew up with an alcoholic for a father, he abused them physically and was hardly around. Of course he didn't want that for his kids, yet I know I've let him down a lot, it truly does hurt to feel that. He owns his own business and I help him manage it, I work hard and very passionate about what I do. I need to enroll back into school this summer, I see now how education really gives you that edge in the business world. I'm savy, great communication skills, and driven. I'm really weak in commitment, timing, legal info., and professionalism. Ever since I've been out I have tried to help my family as much as possible. I just know the things I have done have impacted my family and the way my siblings perceive things. They think it's cool to get drunk and high. I stopped drinking, but continue to smoke( I really don't think smoking is bad). Last night my brother got licked out of the house, so I tried to convince him to come home, but he's hardheaded and didn't return. I haven't heard from him since 4:00 yesterday. I feel as if I'm the reason behind the dysfunctionality of my family, and I'm working on making it a tighter closer family. I don't blame myself entirely, but I know Im responsible for a big part of it. I'm one to not ask for advice and try to do things on my own. Sometimes we all need help, yet we are too blind to see it. Currently I'm just working hard, and waiting for the school year to come around.
I've always been fascinated by the effects that experiences have on people, and how individual people move forward after experiencing something. I've always enjoyed talking with older folks about what life was like in the Great Depression, or during World War II. When I was about 6, I spent 6 months in India, and I lived under the same roof as my Great-Grandmother. I still remember how she would tell me about her life growing up in Burma, and what it was like living under British rule in India. Granted, I didn't have very insightful questions at the time, but she was always really good at telling me things in a way that I would understand. I think those stories with her had a major influence in my life when it comes to hearing about people's experiences, and I think that's why I enjoy listening to people talk so much. I think it would be really amazing to hear firsthand from a survivor what it was like the night the Titanic sank, or what it was like being at Pearl Harbor. I bet it would make an incredible sociology study to take a group of 10 people, have them go through something both harrowing, and incredibly rewarding, and track them through their lives to see which experience they draw upon more for inspiration, and motivation. Or if they allowed the harrowing experience to consume them to the point of collapse, or allowed the rewarding experience to get to their head. For me personally, I can say that I tend to draw much more off of my successes for inspiration than I do my failures. I can say that I do tend to sometimes move on too quickly FROM my failures, and in retrospect, some of the mistakes that I have made have come because I didn't learn the first time. I feel that as I've gotten older, I've become MUCH better at this, and I feel like I am finally able to be brutally honest with myself. I think as one gets older, the ego becomes less because you start to realize that you, in fact, CAN'T do everything, and you, in fact, DON'T know everything. Experiences truly make us who we are.
Eddie- I remember that you posted maybe a couple of years ago about an interest in radiation therapy. I remember because at the time I was getting some prereqs done to apply to a radiation therapy program myself. I'm in my mid-40s with a family of 5 and started a 2 year full time radiation therapy program last year. It was a hell of a lot of work to get in the program, and school has been very challenging so far. But I'm already working in a clinic and the job is fascinating to no end. I'll only be working for about 20 more years before retirement, but I can't imagine all of the advances in treatment that will take place in this time, let alone for the next 40 years. The physicists in our dept work in dark offices away from contact with patients, and I don't have any interest in working in that kind of environment at all. A lot of therapist go on to become dosimetrists - even better money- but again dark room, no patients. I guess my point is you might not know what you want to do now, but you are only 23. Give it some time. See if you can observe a medical physicist on the job for a couple of days. For many people it's a never ending quest to find meaningful work. Good luck with yours.
