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Girl is sending mixed signals... advice, please!

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Drexlerfan22, Sep 4, 2003.

  1. Drexlerfan22

    Drexlerfan22 Contributing Member

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    I'm in college, and I really dig this girl on the floor above mine. I have two classes with her. And of course I see her in the elavators every once in a while, etc. So, being that I think she's really hot, I of course introduce myself, and walk with her after class and stuff. Over the last few weeks, I'm getting vastly different reactions when I just go up and talk to her. Nothing in between. Some days I walk up to her and it's immediately like "seeya later," even when she isn't doing anything in particular. Other days she goes out of her way to sit with me or walk to the next class with me. I had asked her multiple times before if we could go out to a restaurant or movie or something, and she always gave a noncommital "yeah, maybe later" type of response. Yet recently when I go up to borrow a book from her, she really wants to go down to eat with me. I notice, going out of her room, that she still has her high school senior ball picture displayed prominently in the middle of her desk (don't know if that means anything). So we go eat, have a nice conversation, etc. Then afterwards, she says she really wants to come and see my room. So we go to my room, and we talk some more. She sees this weird bending flower doll thing that I won from making a free thrown on a rebounding rim at Circus Circus, and she says it's great that I'm in touch with my feminine side or something like that. So she goes back to her room, and the very next day she's back to not really wanting to talk to me apparently, and shrugging it off when I say we should go do something.

    What the hell is the deal here? Does she not really like me much at all? Does she consider me a friend? Does she consider me a potential boyfriend?

    My head hurts. If only women's signals were more consistent.

    So, what I'd appreciate you guys doing is giving me your opinion on this question: should I back off a little and give it more time, or should I really go after her?
     
  2. PieEatinFattie

    PieEatinFattie Contributing Member

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    Get a call girl. You would end up spending the same amount buying this chick dinner and stuff and the call girl is a sure thing.
     
  3. GladiatoRowdy

    GladiatoRowdy Contributing Member

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    I have always been of the opinion that if you really like someone then you should go ahead and pursue them. Further, I believe that honesty is both the best policy and required of someone I want to date. Thus, I have always been pretty up front with women about how I felt and it always served me well (something about me being in touch with my feelings).

    I always kind of felt that if they couldn't handle me being honest with them, they weren't the type I would want to date.

    That being said, if all you want is a horizontal mambo, the honesty thing might not serve you very well.
     
  4. GladiatoRowdy

    GladiatoRowdy Contributing Member

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    That is why the honesty thing always worked for me. I tried to find out how they felt about me BEFORE springing for dinner, movie, etc.
     
  5. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Trust me dude, You do not want to spend the next few months torturing yourself over her signals. You have to be up front and tell her you are interested in her. Most girls don't like to give themselves away what they are feeling, so if you want to, just ask a simple question like "hey would you like to go out with me?"

    If she doesn't respond don't grill her with questions, maybe she just wants to be your friend. the relationship between a man and a woman is often defined by the first few times you talk, lasting impressions and feelings are made almost right away.

    There is an incredibly thin line when it comes to friendship and relationship, if that line is not defined as soon as possible, it will only lead you in the wrong way, which can cause you a lot of unwarranted heartache. Trust me, I know from personal experience.
     
  6. fadeaway

    fadeaway Contributing Member

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    LOL.. The part about the bending flower is hilarious. I used to have one of those things when I was younger.

    Maybe she was disappointed that you didn't make a move on her in your room. I'm sorry to say it, but it could be that you missed your chance.
     
  7. Drexlerfan22

    Drexlerfan22 Contributing Member

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    Thank you. I was kinda starting to lean that way, but I think I just needed to hear a few people say it.

    Oh, and for everyone else's reference, I'm not just after sex. Not even remotely. I also don't drink or smoke. So you can lose the call girl idea.
     
  8. robbie380

    robbie380 ლ(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ლ)
    Supporting Member

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    just ignore her and see what she does. if the girl wants you then she will try to get you.
     
  9. GladiatoRowdy

    GladiatoRowdy Contributing Member

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    I forgot one very important thing. Be honest, but when you have a chance, MAKE A MOVE! There is little that turns a girl off more than a guy who can't "get off his barstool" and make the move they know we are dying to make. They know they have what we want and they want us to pursue it.

    You may not have missed your chance, but the next time she is in your room, think to yourself "why did she come here if she doesn't want me to move on her?"
     
  10. HOOP-T

    HOOP-T Member

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  11. Dubious

    Dubious Contributing Member

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    get over it and move on.
     
  12. rockbox

    rockbox Around before clutchcity.com

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    Only advice I have for you is don't become her friend if you want something more than that. Once a girl thinks of you as her friend, it is all over. The interest has to be there before she knows too much about you.
     
  13. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Contributing Member

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    She sounds more confused that you do. Not a good thing. If you like her, tell her. Lay it all out for her. If she's wishy washy about it, move on.
     
  14. Falcons Talon

    Falcons Talon Contributing Member

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    Move on. She might follow, she might not. The choice is hers. You go on being your bad self.
     
  15. don grahamleone

    don grahamleone Contributing Member

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    Have you seen Chris Rock's stand up? You are a dick in a glass case. Break open in case of emergency. Sorry DrexFan, but you are in the friendzone.
     
  16. Buck88

    Buck88 Contributing Member

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    I really doesn't sound like she's too interested. I mean if she was she wouldn't be so damn flighty. Plus, being that I'm sure you are a nice guy, she would naturally want to sit with you in class and maybe walk home after class is over (you live in the same building). So I think you may be reading too much into her sitting with you and walking wiht you after class.

    It's been my experience that when a girl is interested she makes herself available. You WILL have to make the first move, which it seems like you did when you asked her to a movie, and when a girl is interested she will be available or at least let you know when is a more convientant time for her. If a girls likes you she's as eager to go out with you as you are with her. That being said she has done nothing like that.

    My suggestion is to move on, she most likely just views you as a nice guy who lives in her building. Don't mis-read being nice for being interested. Although I could be wrong, you know her not me! I'm just going by a quick read of what's happened so far!!!!

    And ofcourse if this girl is playing THAT HARD TO GET....you don't want her anyway!!!!!!!
     
  17. Oski2005

    Oski2005 Contributing Member

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    If you have a TV and a VCR or DVD player, invite her to watch a movie with you. Doesn't matter the movie, the idea is to get a good hour and a half or 2 hours of you and her only time. If you've got a roomie, give him money to go bowling or something, you get the idea. Basically, you are trying to corner her. I'm not guaranteeing anything, just that this is the oppurtunity to give her the old "I really like you blah blah blah, I'd like to take you out sometime blah blah, etc" speech (make sure you look right into her eyes and try and hold her hand if you can).

    Good luck, she sounds hot and confused, just like I like em.:D j/k
     
  18. Drexlerfan22

    Drexlerfan22 Contributing Member

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    Hmm... pretty good idea. I might try that.
     
  19. Baqui99

    Baqui99 Contributing Member

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  20. Supermac34

    Supermac34 President, Von Wafer Fan Club

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    Um...I was friends with this girl in college for a long time. Then we started dating. Now we are married.

    I disagree that nothing can come out of a friendship with a girl. Also, I have this theory that two single people, that are male and female, that are friends...always end up being at least a little romantic with each other.


    Also...ask her on a DATE. Don't say, wanna see a movie, or wanna go to dinner? Friends can go see movies and to dinner.

    Ask her, or better yet, tell her: I'd like to take you out on a DATE, when would you like to go?

    or I know this romantic restaurant, and I'd like to take you on a DATE there, when are you available?

    Leave the date open. Its too easy to reject a particular date with other plans, but if you give her a week to choose a day from, then the ball is in her court if she is on the fence about you.

    "I'd like to take you on a date, would you like to go next weekend?"

    Or "What day this week are you free for me to take you on a date?"

    Lots of time its in how you ask that show you are interested...if you just ask, "wanna go to a movie?" that leaves it too ambiguous...you could be a friend, you could be a date, you still leave it too open.

    Heck, when I asked my wife out on our first date, I straight out told her I had a crush on her and would like to take her out on a date.
     
    #20 Supermac34, Sep 4, 2003
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2003

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