Hi guys, So it's Sunday over here and dreading heading to work tomorrow because of what went down Friday evening when I left work. Just looking for some advice on what others would do in this situation. The company is small with only 4 people generally in the office (office manager, booking coordinator, typist and myself - and then there's the 15 consultants who are out on the road every day) The office manager is overseas at the moment so in her place each day is the managing director (who usually is only in on Friday) I've been there for nearly 2 years, and when I started there were two full time positions required to do my job. Fast forward to now and the other person doing my role has gone back home overseas and I have excelled to the point where they have not needed to hire any one else to help me. End of month is the busiest time because all the consultants send serious backlogs of their work in - otherwise they aren't paid. No-one else's workload increases at end of month but mine - so for the past 6 or so months I've been coming in at 4am a few mornings each end of month to ensure everything is completed so the consultants are paid correctly. This happened again Thursday & Friday last week and each end of month is stressful. This one was meant to be different though because one of the consultant's had broken their foot - so they were in the office to help me. Thursday just after lunch I ask him to start dispatching a pile of invoices (if the invoice isn't sent out the consultant isn't paid for that specific job) and right before 5pm I check his progress.... to find he hasn't done one, and is instead doing meaningless data entry for the booking coordinator. Without making this post longer than it already is - the data entry he was doing is so unimportant, that it would not have been noticed for another couple of months if it wasn't done. So Friday morning I get in to 153 emails with invoices + all my other jobs I need to do (if I walk in on a normal day and there's 60 emails I know it's going to be a full on day) I put my head down and just pile through all day not getting up until just after 5pm to go home (haven't had lunch the past two days) As I say goodbye the managing director asks if there's anything that can be done to help me because he can see I'm stressed - and I said "It would be good if (consultant who broke his foot) helped when I asked him to, instead of doing unimportant things for (the booking coordinator) He then proceeds to have a go at me because I didn't forcefully 'demand' the consultant to help me when I needed it. He continued to say he wished I would stop sitting at my desk 'acting like a nong' (what?) all day because I'm stressing the office out. So I incredulously say 'I'm the one making the office stressed? It certainly doesn't look that way when you, consultant and booking coordinator are lounging back in your chairs having a laugh all afternoon while the typist and I are flat out' I'm livid at this point and he starts saying something about how I have not shown any leadership qualities by not asking the consultant a second time to help me - at this point I have walked out on him mid sentence because I was about to tell him what I really think. As I am walking out the office and down the corridor he is yelling at this point 'poor leadership' A part of me wishes I just turned around and started rattling off the things I've done in this job which go above and beyond some stupid leadership qualities. So now I'm sitting here anticipating just how pathetic it's going to be going into work tomorrow. Has anyone been in any situation similar with their boss? What they've done post-arguement? If I've done something wrong I will take the verbal lashing on the chin - but this was one of a few (and the final one) completely unreasonable times he's had a go at me in front of the office. It was only at the start of this year our previous booking coordinator left in tears and didn't come back due to similar circumstances. My uncle is one of the consultants with the company and is now actually a director, and I called him Saturday night after things had cooled down just to let him know out of courtesy that once the office coordinator comes back - and they can find someone to replace me - I intend to start looking for another job. He mentioned he completely understood where I come from because the managing director is someone you can only spend small amounts of time with due to his personality and how he conveys things (which I guess is why he's fine only coming in once a week like he normally does) Just a messed up situation because I actually love the job and I love working with everyone in the office. Ridiculously long post.. Sorry guys.
Be up front, explain your frustrations and apologize if you came off the wrong way. Find a middle ground. Pride is the currency of the poor.
honestly, act like nothing happened. it was a simple blow up and if he expects like a proper explanation and sharing feelings about what not, act like wtf, this is grown up world, take care of your job, there will be arguments, if there are feelings hurt, get over it and take care of the next job. i make my living in the O&G world, both in the office and in the field, so this might be more of a normal thing for me
Unfortunately people are good at remembering and re-framing slights and bringing them up down the road if they already don't like or respect you. This is especially true with peer reviews. OP needs to hedge all of his bets in terms of checking his boss's temperature, getting his perspective on the record for third-party management and getting his resume out to headhunters.
Sounds like you're out of there soon. Go in, do your job, and get your affairs in order to make it a clean break. Past that point, as long as you're not looking to preserve any relationships, have something(s) prepared to say if he decides to go for Round II (make sure you remain professional for that part though!). Don't let the narrative move in a direction you aren't comfortable with.
Ad hominem doesn't work. You 'dun goofed for not being professional and addressing the issue. You should've said: "Hey, I'm doing the work. You came here to ask how you could help me; now I'm telling you and you're yelling at me that I'm making the office stressed because I'M ACTUALLY DOING WORK? The other guy is the one not doing the work and he's your man. You're the one supervising the team, not me. You should be the one telling [x] he shouldn't be slacking off." Points being: - you are doing your job - you do not deserve to be yelled at for doing your job - everybody else is slacking off - it's your boss' job to actually supervise But you are partly at fault for attacking him personally rather than keeping professional. Take the high road and come to him to apologize, then TELL him the situation - that way you have the control of the conversation. That said, your uncle's testimony that your boss is difficult does make it seem like the situation is completely out of your control.
Go back to work on Monday. Pretend it never happened. Walk into the staff meeting on Monday morning. You're an emotional person! People don't take you seriously. You were just blowing off a little steam - so what?
I'm still on this side. Really, if the boss wants to make a bigger deal about it, then he really doesnt deserve to have you as his employee. if he's had time to think through about it and is somewhat of a rational mind, he'd be feeling embarrassed. but again, for me, this things happen all the time and gets resolve the next day.
I read through your description - hard to understand why you love your job to be honest if it is so stressful and you are so underappreciated. But you do. So probably you want to keep it. Sucks that the consultant didn't help you. It might be that he views doing your work as beneath him, less fun or engaging, or he simply doesn't like you. Or some other reason. On this note, your boss is correct. You are failing to show leadership. Leadership is that ability to get people to do what you want them to do - through whatever means. Great leaders just naturally get people to want to please them because people want to curry their favor. Ruthless leaders use coercion. Weak leaders just use the authority granted to them. You didn't do any of those. At the end of the day, it is your responsibility to make sure the task gets done. That's your job. Your boss's job isn't to solve your problems. It's to get you to solve your own problems and help him advance whatever objective he has articulated. That said, your boss is actually also a very weak leader based on wha tyou say. When the consultant didn't get the job done or clearly wasn't working on your project, you could have asked him, "hey why are you prioritizing the other project over this one - I was told you would fully dedicated to helping complete this one. So admit some fault here - there's usually always a grain of truth. Focus on being a better leader and inspiring your co-workers. But also look for another job.
So, at 5:00 PM Thursday when you discovered he had not done any, what did you ask him? Also, at that point, I think I would have at least stayed late on Thursday to make sure I wasn't inundated on Friday. Regardless, I would have a talk with my boss on Monday morning if it were me and I wanted to continue working there.
Ha sometimes I tell myself it is useless. We're the only Property Inspection company in the state which is certified by the ISO. Personally that to me means nothing but clients seem to love it. I agree, but unfortunately there is no middle ground to be found. It's either his way or he wants no part of it (an example is we play Uno sometimes at lunch (so professional) but he gets up and stops playing if he starts to lose) Couldn't agree more. I've been in the Infantry before - so hurt feelings is something I'm not aiming at here. I'm hoping from his side it's the same thing because I can already tell if he wants to have a meeting and have another dig at me I'm not sure I can stop myself again. Excellent point, and I actually think this was mentioned by the old booking coordinator after she left - that the managing director wrote a pretty substandard reference for her. Thankfully though I'm on excellent terms with everyone within the company so the office manager who I work with each day wouldn't have a problem writing one (I'd like to think) I've got a fair few things to point out to him in an exit interview if one ever happens. He will no doubt see them as personal slights so not sure whether I should go down this route or not. Haha I am never going to live this down unfortunately. Didn't expect you to be stepping down from the good fight of putting LOFs in their place though Zboy! Good advice and I wished I said something similar at the time. I don't think I could go in there and flat out apologise though. I know it's the smart thing to do but I don't know if I can yet again bow down to him for (what I judge) as absolute BS from him. I have so many times in the past but I think it's finally gone over the line. In my head that explanation explains it all.. But him being the managing director and always being right... I have a feeling he's going to adjust the truth just a tad when he tells his version of the story to the directors who he has a meeting with after each office monthly meeting - which is on this Thursday. Things like this have happened in the past - but I have kept quiet and begrudgingly accepted that he's 'right' and he in correct in blowing up at me in front of the office. This is the first time I've taken the bait and bit back though - so unsure of what will happen. His wife works in HR for a big company over here and I have heard numerous stories from the office manager about the managing director's wife telling him off for how he's treated people and done things. Here's hoping he's explained what happened to her on the weekend and she's talked sense into him - but as mentioned before I don't like the odds of how the story actually being played out - is what is actually said to her. The consultant is a 25 year old engineer who actually joined the company a couple of months ago - you can tell by the way he talks he believes he's above everyone since he's smarter than all of us. Since I'm only 27 we're the youngest people in the company by far and we actually get along really well. Personally, I think I showed leadership by coming in at 4am both mornings to get the job completed so all the consultants (including the 25 year old) were paid correctly and on time. And I also believe that when the boss and the consultant were lounging back in their chairs having a good old yarn for the better half of the afternoon - he should've been the one checking with the consultant whether he'd completed everything he was asked to do. But we all have different views of things and situations. He had already walked out the door before 4:30pm. I'd already done 5 hours overtime that day by the time 5pm rolled around - I was definitely not staying back there any longer.
Like others have said, go in, apologize and try to explain your frustration to the boss. If he still doesn't get it, just let it go. Be as fake as you can be. Especially after checking the temp and seeing how the boss is behaving after you have the talk with him. Regardless of what happens, you should probably start talking to headhunters, looking at other jobs ( Your boss might try to be a b**** and try to get rid of you if he is still salty about the argument, or just so you can see if there's another job with a similar position like yours at a company in which they'll appreciate your efforts a little bit more). Also, stop coming in at 4 am UNLESS they ask you to(now that you know they don't appreciate you making the effort to come in early to get the work done). Coming in to work at 4am isn't part of your job description and if you aren't appreciated(if not compensated) for going above and beyond, then EFF it. Work the hours you're supposed to and don't bother going above and beyond anymore. Main points- be fake cool with your boss and get your resume out there to recruiters and source out other similar jobs at other companies.
You can apologize in a way that it's just for lashing out at him but not for the entire debacle. "Hey [managing director], I just want to say sorry for lashing out at you last night. I was really stressed from all the work. I did 153 emails etc. BUT let me be clear that I strongly feel like I don't deserve getting told that I'm not displaying leadership skills. My job is to do x, y and z. If you want to redistribute the workload around here, you're the manager. You be the one to talk to people to help out." Just a measure of caution, feel him out first. Once you go in the office, look to see if he's in a contemplative mood/not sure how to talk to you. That means he can be negotiated with. But if he's really dead set against you, then don't bother apologizing. And don't make this personal. Don't bring up that he's had previous fault with you. That's absolutely irrelevant to the current situation and would suggest you have a much bigger, very likely personal problem with him which would seriously jeopardize your chances at making up. You don't want to back down this time because you're in the right - that's good but you have to handle this like a professional.
If a consultant receives two different work items, then a good consultant should always clarify with the requesters on which is top priority. You should never tell someone to do something and, come end of day, surprise...the consultant didn't do anything. In fact, I overheard a consultant getting clarity on priorities just the other day where I work.
DS, you sound like a good dude especially about working your ass off so all those consultants get paid on time. reminds me as a O&G field personnel who rely on the admin person to get all my offshore field days paid on the next pay check. i think you've covered all the bases, pros n cons on all the scenarios. i think you go with your guts, how you feel at that moment. dont be afraid to act how youll act. its all a part of you learning the work culture. i've been there a few times working for someone who doesnt know the f--- he's talking about. you can lose a bit and start over or you can be miserable for god knows how long. i've done the lose a bit and start over part and got to a better path. currently i'm doing miserable for god knows how long due to the oil prices and layoffs all around me (so far still hanging on).
