My best friend's widow getting remarried

[sugrlndkid]

[heypartner]

Regarding too soon, obviously I thought that too. Obviously in my OP, I don't see anything wrong with it, and of all people, you'd expect the best friend to be pissed. Guys, don't be so cynical. Here's why:

Natasha's group of Russian girlfriends includes some who came here looking for husbands and the easy life. Not so much her, though. She's like most other people...independent hard worker wanting to have a family.

She's a catch. Cute, fun and makes 6 figures as a engineer. Catered to her husband for 2 years. That's pretty tough holding down a job like that while going through a tragic 2 years. He had surgeries (colon cancer) that pretty much made it impossible for him to bed his wife for the last year. I'm pretty sure they openly discussed what she should do after the inevitable.

I don't really know, and it's not really my place, nor want to know, but I'm pretty sure guys were lining up to ask for her hand. Doesn't mean she was cheating on him. I doubt she was. So, yeah, I'm sure she had the suitor picked out. And she got married quickly so she could realize her dream of a family.

When Art was diagnosed with Stage 4, the doctor prescribed chemo immediately, but they held off for a month so they could get clearance to use a sperm bank, because he was going to go infertile. I don't know what they were thinking about (is it irreversible?), but it does show her thinking regarding wanting a family with him.

Originally Posted by bobrek Tense in title is wrong.

yeah, I left off the word "On" at the beginning.

[CometsWin]

It sounds like at the very least she knew this guy and perhaps had a relationship of some sort with him before her husband died. Who gets married in three months much less after the death of a spouse? Even giving the benefit of the doubt that's a bit odd.

[rocketsfeeva]

Ultimately it boils down to her own decision to do as she pleases. Is it a little to soon for me if I was in her position? Yeah, but that's just me. Wish the best to her, and her new family.

[heypartner]

Originally Posted by CometsWin Even giving the benefit of the doubt that's a bit odd.

You know what's odd: Some of his other friends, who didn't know them when they were first dating, won't talk to her now and have spurned her. She goes through a two year tragedy as the loving wife and comes out the other end with people turning their back to her, like life is a soap opera.

Honestly, I don't care if she did cheat. Had their wedding been in the US rather than the Ukraine (couldn't make it), I would have been Best Man. So, I got her back.

[CometsWin]

Originally Posted by heypartner You know what's odd: Some of his other friends, who didn't know them when they were first dating, won't talk to her now and have spurned her. She goes through a two year tragedy as the loving wife and comes out the other end with people turning their back to her, like life is a soap opera. Honestly, I don't care if she did cheat. Had their wedding been in the US rather than the Ukraine (couldn't make it), I would have been Best Man. So, I got her back.

Sounds like they definitely know something we don't.

[heypartner]

Originally Posted by CometsWin Sounds like they definitely know something we don't.

no they don't...these are peripheral friends...who never visited him in the hospital and rarely visited him at his house. Real friends would make sure his widow is happy.

[rockbox]

She stuck by him during a very tough time so, she has the right to be happy. She could have easily left him with the going got tough. Maybe she knew the guy before her husband died, but she still stuck by her husband until the end.

[CometsWin]

Originally Posted by heypartner no they don't...these are peripheral friends...who never visited him in the hospital and rarely visited him at his house. Real friends would make sure his widow is happy.

I thought you meant friends of her new husband. My mistake.

[percicles]

I'm reminded of the movie Breaking the Waves. Maybe the husband new he wasn't gonna pull through and gave his blessing for her to see someone else.

[ynelilvs99]

My uncle remarried less than a year after my aunt died of cancer. They were married for almost 50 years and he loved her very much. Some of his kids, my cousins, are ok with it and some aren't. He does not seem to love his new wife the same. She doesn't seem to mind or she just can't tell. Either way, neither are lonely anymore, which ultimately is I guess what we all want?

[blink]

your best friends girl is a whore.

[thadeus]

No matter how we explain ourselves to ourselves (and to one another), we're still animals ruled by biological imperatives.

We can resist those imperatives, but only at a cost to ourselves.

[FranchiseBlade]

In the end it's not any of our business how the widow met the new husband. It isn't our business because we aren't related or friends with the deceased or the woman, or her new husband.

Also she's married and so nobody on this board will be going out with her. We can only hope that she's happy, and will have a great experience with her new family.

[sammy]

Originally Posted by blink your best friends girl is a whore.

Dude stfu

[blink]

Originally Posted by sammy Dude stfu

she's a whore

[Invisible Fan]

Originally Posted by Granville I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt here. I knew someone who was in pretty much the same situation and I'm positive that she was not having a relationship with another man while married. A man who had always found her to be attractive and all the while keeping boundaries told me that he had long admired her. Once there were no boundaries, he approached the woman. Who knows if it was true love or the woman was seeking to fill the void of not having someone special in her life.

Me too.

Seriously though, life is short. If your best friend was happy and took it to his death, then she's a modern day saint in my eye.

After seeing my dad suffer with cancer, I wonder if any modern woman would do the same for me while knowing her best years are up.

I hope she's square with what her now exposed loser former friends think of her.

[blink]

Originally Posted by Invisible Fan After seeing my dad suffer with cancer, I wonder if any modern woman would do the same for me while knowing her best years are up.

that says a lot about people these days more than anything.

[Firebomb525]

I don't know man. I'd hate to think the worst of her, but seems naive to think that she's an angel.

Just glad she's happy, I suppose and that your bud is resting in peace.

[t_mac1]

Glad your friend is happy, but that's WAY WAY too soon. It takes a very long time to get over a love one's death, esp. if that person is your husband. But we're all on the outside looking in so it's not right for any of us to judge.