[My 10,000th post] Most Embarrassing Place You've Ever Farted

Oh my, that is funny.

I was alone in the elevator at work and ripped a big nasty. Black Death followed. When the door opened I got out and a male co-worker of mine went into the death chamber. About 10 minutes later he paid a visit to my desk. He said that I was cold blooded letting him walk into that elevator. He said what made it worse, is that two floors down a woman got into the elevator with him and glared at him like he was the one responsible for the fragrant smell in there.

Farting in the car with the wife and locking all the windows is also amusing. The girls just laugh in the back, there still young enough to think it is funny. I'm sure they'll change their minds once they become teenagers.

 

In my bedroom, while having sex with a good-looking woman I had picked up at a gig I did earlier in the evening, right when I achieved the big "O".

I was drunk, and I had Tex Mex for dinner that night.

Needless to say, I never got a second chance....

 

dammit mate, too much information there

 

Great stories! I don't have anything quite as bad to compare... the worst one I can recall is when I was a teenager, talking to a hot guy, and a small but very audible one popped out. It wouldn't have been big enough to smell. I just kept talking like nothing happened - what can you do? - and hoped it wouldn't make it into his long-term memory.

 

In class.

 

Back in the day I always used to enjoy cutting a silent fart in class, and then I would look at the person in front of me really pissed off like they were the culprit. Then everyone else that saw my reaction would assume that the person in front of me was the one who ripped ass. Good times.

 

About 10 years ago I was working backstage at the Alley Theatre on "Christmas Carol". There were alot of young kids in that production. In the middle of the show I had to move a set piece that was right where they kept the kids "corraled" backstage. Before moving the piece, I let one rip and a chorus of 10 year olds squealed in delight and horror as I was moving onstage. It pretty much brought the show to a standstill.

 

I don't know about embarrasing, but one time in the sixth grade, I let out what was probably the loudest fart in my life. Right after I did, I yelled out, "That was a bomber!!"

The whole classroom was rolling on the floor. Even the teacher was laughing...

 

Nothing says, "I'm the boss" like the celebratory, post-coitus blast from the azz.

 

Probably back in second grade, but it wasn't very traumatizing and that was like 20 years ago, so not even a good story.

The best I remember from grade school was in 5th grade when this girl let a fart out. We all heard the first noise, looked at her, and proceeded to watch her try to muffle it by holding on to the bottom of her desk. The result was the exact opposite of what she wanted. Instead of one loud fart, she had four or five shorter loud farts while the entire classroom was watching her try to hold it in.

I've never seen someone run out of a room faster.

 

When I was in HS, we were doing situps on the track. For some reason, I farted, and everyone looked back at me. I said "it wasn't me, it was the guy behind me" . . . turns out, there was no one behind me.

 

I'll never forget this one time when I was in middle school.

I let one rip while we were in the computer lab working on some class project and it smelled HORRIBLE. There was this fat kid sitting next to me who ended up getting the blame. I kept my mouth shut because it was sooooooooooo bad. The teacher tried but to no avail to open the window to air out the room. We ended up getting let out earlier.

So in all, I guess that was the BEST time to pass gas ever. Fat kid got the blame, and we got out of class early. I should do it more often. Hell, I'm in the computer lab right now....

TIME TO LET ONE RIP!

 

Who stepped on a duck?

 

I ripped one while doing the yard one day. Not knowing that one of my neighbors was walking her dog right in front of my house, I then turn to her and asked "Oh hey, How are you?" She looked at me and shook her head...and her little dawg just barked at me.

 

It never fails. You think it's safe to fart in your office, but someone always walks in.

I let one go and sure enough, here comes a co-worker into my office asking me a question. I politely responded, "Let's step outside. We don't need to suffer from this fart I let out."

I then proceeded to carry my fart with me down the hall.

It's called a stretch play.

 

Uh.... hold on a sec..... THERE!

Now, what was the question?

 

After game 7 against the Mavs last year, in the cab home from the bar, I let out a silent one. It was coated with the pungent rage I was feeling after that loss. Didn't embarrass me, but my girlfriend was ashamed for days.

Another time, I dropped another stealth bomber in our friend's car just as they dropped us off. Early Christmas for them. Again, I was more proud than anything.

I also did it once while getting my pipes serviced. Ahem. That was a mistake and I wasn't proud at all. But it was still funny.

 

exactly.

 

10000t, pu-lease...

I don't have any that I've done...Don't get me wrong, I do it all the time , but I have control...

One time I was at the gym riding the bike with a couple of other people when I smelled the black death...Of course, this hot chick comes buy, stops and then leaves while glaring at me...I couldn't say anything, but she thought it was me...

Another time, I was in a meeting with my boss sitting about 3 feet from him, and him not behind his desk and I was going over a laundry list of issues...While I was talking he lifts his leg, rips one and I pause, he says excuse me, and we carry on like nothing happened...weird...