Bill Simmons: 33 reasons to watch the last 2 weeks of the NBA season

Carl Herrera · Apr 13, 2012

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7809914/absurd-tanking-knicks-surging-miami-madness

Rockets mentions:

24. In case you were wondering, here are my dream Round 1 matchups (and the ones I think you should root for, although it's a free country and you should do whatever you want):

.....

L.A. Lakers (3) vs. Houston (6): An interesting one because you'd have The Team That Isn't Going to Beat Itself (Houston) playing The Volatile and Aging Contender That Could End Up Beating Itself at Any Time (the Lakers). I live in Los Angeles and have yet to meet a Lakers fan who'd trust Mike Brown to place a Starbucks order, much less coach their team for an entire playoff series.
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27. I can't believe I haven't mentioned Goran Dragic's epic free agency run yet! Thrust into Houston's starting lineup with Kyle Lowry sidelined, Dragic morphed into a delightful cross between Steve Nash, Manu Ginobili and Tiny Archibald and helped keep Houston's playoff hopes glimmering. In 20 games as a starter, he's averaging 18.2 points and 8.7 rebounds with 50/42/84 shooting splits, and that doesn't even tell the whole story because he's a killer at the end of games. According to 82games.com, he's shooting a sizzling 70 percent in crunch time. Seventy percent!!!!

Given that he's only 25, what's Dragic worth on the open market to a team with cap space like Portland, Indiana, Toronto or Dallas? Or would Houston be better off re-signing Dragic, then dealing Lowry with their two first-rounders (theirs and New York's) and/or Kevin Martin/Luis Scola for a proven All-Star like LaMarcus Aldridge, Chris Bosh or (in the irony of ironies) Pau Gasol? And by the way, shouldn't we mention that Dragic (a throw-in for the vetoed L.A./N.O./Houston three-teamer) is now more valuable than anyone in that trade except for Chris Paul and Eric Gordon (the prize of New Orleans's eventual haul for Chris Paul)? You gotta love the NBA! There can't be a weirder sport. There just can't.
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Also, I liked what he said about Charlotte, a truly historically horrible team.

1. Do you realize Charlotte has a chance to finish with the NBA's worst winning percentage ever? The '73 Sixers own the worst 82-game record (9-73); the '99 Grizzlies own the worst strike-shortened record (8-42); and the '48 Providence Steamers set the records for fewest wins (they went 6-42) and most times someone said, "They put a team THERE?" (215,563 times and counting). The Bobcats have blown 50 of their 57 games for a remarkable winning percentage of … (wait for it) … .123.

.123!!!!!!

They could win one more game and still set the record (.121), but if they blow their last nine and finish 7-59, that drops them to an unfathomable (and record-setting) .108. Even better, that means Michael Jordan would have direct ties to the best regular-season team ever (the '96 Bulls) and the worst regular-season team ever (the '12 Bobcats). Stay classy, MJ.

2. Sorry, we have to run the Bobcats back because you won't ever witness a more worthless professional basketball team. You can't even call them ****ty because it's an insult to ****. It seems impossible that an NBA team could finish with a point differential of negative double digits (even the 8-42 Grizzlies finished -8.94 in 1999), but Charlotte's opponents have outscored them by a staggering 13.3 points per game. The Bobcats have lost 31 games by 10 points or more. They're 2-30 against teams .500 or better. They're 4-23 at home. They've had losing streaks of 15 and 14 (the current one). They tied a record this week by losing their third straight home game by 20 points or more. They don't have a single player averaging more than 15 points, 6.5 assists or 5.6 rebounds. Their three best players (Kemba Walker, Gerald Henderson and Byron Mullens) wouldn't play a lick for ANY of the league's 10 best teams.

Did I mention that the most homicidally competitive athlete of our lifetime owns this franchise? What the hell? How can Michael Jordan live with himself? And how can we reward this putridity (is that even a word?) by giving them the 'Brow in two months? That reminds me …
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Rockets Jones · Apr 13, 2012

Dragic is 70% in crunch time? We should let him shoot more at the end of games then

RV6 · Apr 13, 2012

I didn't realize the % was that high, but he's clearly been really clutch as a starter.

And he obviously meant 8.7 assists, not rebounds

LCII · Apr 13, 2012

Yeah, if dragic can keep this up, Morey would have to seriously consider trading Lowry and K-Mart for an Allstar. Ironic since at the beginning of the season, no one, including the fans, would have wanted to do that.

Dei · Apr 13, 2012

Truly, what delights me most of all seeing Dragic flourish into the player he is now is how it also smears Stern's face with feces.

rolyat93 · Apr 13, 2012

Dei said: ↑

Truly, what delights me most of all seeing Dragic flourish into the player he is now is how it also smears Stern's face with feces.
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Dear Jesus, this is the greatest comment on Clutchfans in a long while.

Dreamin · Apr 13, 2012

why 33?

Cleepy · Apr 13, 2012

Given that he's only 25, what's Dragic worth on the open market to a team with cap space like Portland, Indiana, Toronto or Dallas? Or would Houston be better off re-signing Dragic, then dealing Lowry with their two first-rounders (theirs and New York's) and/or Kevin Martin/Luis Scola for a proven All-Star like LaMarcus Aldridge, Chris Bosh or (in the irony of ironies) Pau Gasol?
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I would do the trade for Aldridge in a heartbeat. I just don't think the Trailblazers would.

heypartner · Apr 14, 2012

Dreamin said: ↑

why 33?
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do you need a hint?

bill simmons said:

[Thinking.]

[No way I'm jinxing this.]

[Enjoy the weekend.]
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good luck charm number

mdoggnic · Apr 14, 2012

heypartner said: ↑

do you need a hint?

good luck charm number
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Id like to buy a vowel.

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Bill Simmons: 33 reasons to watch the last 2 weeks of the NBA season

Carl Herrera Contributing Member

Rockets Jones Member

RV6 Contributing Member

LCII Contributing Member

Dei Member

rolyat93 Contributing Member

Dreamin Member

Cleepy Member

heypartner Contributing Member

mdoggnic Contributing Member

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