Hey Coma, it's good that you have perspective. Try not to beat yourself up about the emotions you have. You can't just turn them on and off like a light switch. We're not built like that. At the same time, it's good that you realize that it's generally not good to lose your temper. Negative consequences can definitely arise from doing so. If you find this continues to bother you and/or is impacting your relations with other people, consider finding someone with counseling experience to help you work things out. I had an incident recently where I felt I was receiving poor customer service and felt strongly that I would be treated differently if I were of a different ethnic background. I got extremely upset, to the point that I was using profanity back inside the car in front of my mother (which I've never done; I cuss, but only among certain friends). I too also felt very ashamed afterwards because I felt some of my actions betrayed extreme immaturity, and it still bothers me when I think about it. I think it's important to be positive (genuinely positive) while not trying to ignore, dismiss, or run away from the negative stuff. Positive about ourselves, positive about people in general. It's easier said than done, of course, but that's another reason why it's good to work with someone together on it, and not just try to fix everything yourself.
There is nothing wrong with saying "hey grandpa, the Civil War called and it wants its war dead back." Or, "what happened, did your granddaughter marry one of us?" I don't see a problem with immediate retribution. A verbal taunt deserves a verbal taunt. The next time someone says "go back where you came from" just say "you mean up in your wife's monkey?" Don't let the b@stards get you down, Coma. If you will dump on them right back, they will go home mad instead of you going home mad.
What Friendly fan said. Outwit them with your intelligence and make them mad as some of them clearly think they are intellectually superior to others.
Coma, it is shocking to run into that hard core crap and I'm white. We lived in a Houston neighborhood for a while where I couldn't have a conversation with any of my neighbors for more than 5 minutes without them using the n word. If my wife wasn't there (Hispanic) they would talk about Spics. Very nice to me, and even my wife. After a while I just wanted to get the hell out of there. We told them we didn't want our 5 year old son hearing those words. It was schocking, I guess, unless you grew up in the South. They were all a bunch of old folks. I think that they just need to die off. I concluded that they'll take their racism to their graves.
glynch -- my business partner is white married to a Mexican woman...he has two children by her and he's from a small town in the Midwest. one day, he had a friend from his old hometown here in Houston visiting...it was his friend's first trip to Houston...they stopped off to grab something to eat...they walked in the restaurant and there were many Hispanics eating inside...it went completely unnoticed by my business partner who had lived in Houston so long...but his friend was weirded out by seeing so many Hispanics...he looked at my partner and said, "man...do you have this many Hispanics living in YOUR neighborhood?" my partner calmly responded, "some...but man, they've taken over my house! i've got nothing but little Mexican kids and women running around the house!" and then he explained that his wife is Mexican. of course, the guy turned pale...and felt awful, removing his foot from his mouth. your story kinda reminded me of that...
One of my godsons is black, Coma, and when he was younger I used to take him places you take little kids to let them play. The little guys all play together, but the ones with racist parents or grandparents show themselves fairly quick. It hurts to see a parent come and take their 3 year old out of a kid's ride and move them because your kid is sitting next to them. At the time, I knew my godson didn't know and didn't perceive this indignity, but I could see it and it hurt. The sight of me with the kid with no adult blacks around perplexed some. They had no idea how this could be. One day a woman who looked about as redneck as redneck gets came up to me while we were waiting for him to get on a ride, and said "is he kin to you?!" And she didn't say it in a nice way. I replied "yes." She asked "how?" I said "we have the same father." I let that befuddled look sit there for a good 5 seconds, then I looked straight up as if to heaven, as I gestured upward with my index finger. "God is our father," I finally said. Make THEM go home mad. That's always been my policy. You don't need to blurt out PECKERWOOD, or Honky, or Cracker, or redneck. They hate being talked down to, so talk down to them and use words they don't know. some people need a verbal bloody nose, so give them one
not to go off topic, but i bet you that the guy with the mexican wife runs into a hell of a lot more racism from mexicans. mexicans don't like white guys with mexican girls. they stare at my and my girlfriend all the time. anyhow...about the racism...maybe i am dumb but i see it as the same thing i went thru in jr high and high school when i was picked on. i'd be seen as a skinny white dork/b****/***, whatever name you want, and i wouldn't stand up for myself then and people would pick on me. i felt like killing everyone...it's pretty bad when you understand those kids at columbine. i made it thru that and it has made me a stronger person for going through it. if someone makes a racist comment and it pisses you off then say something about it. don't just brush it off and let it go. don't hold **** in if someone does something that pisses you off. if some old couple said something like that to me then i would talk **** to them back and at least try to scare them or something. hell why should i give a damn about pieces of crap like that. make yourself feel good at their expense. from how you describe how you feel it's exactly how i felt when people would **** with me. i don't let people do that to me anymore. also...i guess that thing with mexicans staring at white guys with mexicans girls is the most recent instance of racism i have experienced. it happens ALL the time, but i just don't really give a damn or pay attention to it. but if they did say something i understood i would let them know i understand what they are saying. anyhow...thats enough from me
I'm just stumped how white people can tell Mexicans from Venezuelans and Panamanians and Guatemalans and Nicaraguans. It's just amazing really and especially since ya know "we all look a like" and stuff. I appreciate you divulging what Mexicans are thinking though. Can you tell me what the rest of them latinos are thinking when you have time?
I had the unfortunate "opportunity" to work for a guy who was VERY racist. He would spout off about n***** this and c**** that and s**** the other (fill in whatever racist words fit). Of course, it was impossible for me to say anything to the guy who was both my boss and the owner of the company. When I left for more money, I didn't feel too bad about it having been subjected to such abusive talk for 15 months.
jesus man...get off of it. if you are mexican you would know that most mexican guys don't like it when a mexican girl is with a boleo. when i say mexican....i mean mexican...from mexico. don't just assume i am saying all latinos. also, i can't tell where they are from by looking at them but my gf can generally tell by listening to how they speak spanish, but that is not what we are talking about. anyhow, i have seen all the mexican guys stare at me and my gf and she notices it a hell of a lot more than i do. i have seen mexican guys call girls puta and wei (sp?) and such when they are with white guys. the women that my gf works with, who are from mexico and don't speak english, ask her about if she has any problems from mexican guys since she is with a white guy. one of my gf's ex-boyfriends got in a fight with a latino who was trying to hit on her while they were out because she was with a white guy. man you act like it doesn't happen or something.
It goes both ways. My mother used to work with a group of black teachers who used to keep information away from the non-black teachers and would spread ridiculous accusations around the school about the non-black teachers. A couple of them even tried to win over some of the black students to get one of the non-black teachers into trouble so one of the blacks could get an underserved promotion.
I was simply pointing out how ridiculously ignorant this trend is in this country to freely use the term Mexican when referring to latinos. It'd be like someone calling all white people Aussies. Your example is even more ridiculous because Mexicans don't have some superior concept of noticing other Mexicans by sight, so even if you were able to telepathically decipher that a man was Mexican simply because he looked at you and your girlfriend it would be even more amazing that this man from Mexico would be able to tell that your girlfriend was Mexican. I guess you either live in a miracle world or maybe you and your girlfriend regularly engage in Mexican dialects of Spanish in public at such volume levels that everyone can tell where she's from but somehow I doubt that one. Furthermore, you should probably refrain from saying things like "mexicans don't like white guys with mexican girls" because being a non-Mexican native Spanish speaker with an unbiased opinion and having lived in this area for over two decades I can assure you that generality is no more accurate than saying whites don't like latinos with white girls. I suppose if I were to say that in a thread about personal experiences of racism that it just might annoy some people. If I recall correctly this is the same Mexican girlfriend of yours who apparently hasn't experienced an ounce of racism in her life so I found it even more amusing that you chose to use her in this example of Mexicans using their mental powers to know your girlfriend is Mexican and then staring her down and throwing insults at her. This fits in well with your themes of overstated racism against minorities and oppression of white people that you've shared in the past. I will not allow racist generalities about my ethnicity to go unchallanged, sorry I'm not with that.
I remember seeing this guy who looked like your stereotypical redneck [red neck forreal . . .i mean sun tanned to hell] He had to be in his 50s with his obviously Bi-Racial grandchild. He did not speak to her harshly or anything I don't hazard to guess what the homelife is like but it was a genuinely touching moment to me because . . . . acceptence is a beautiful thing he could have easily kicked his child and grand child to the curb he could have been just standoffish with the child but HE CHOSE NOT TO I'm not saying he was EVER a racist this was probably right along with his character but . . .a child . .. can sometimes soften the hardest hearts how the hell can you hate a child? Rocket River
Are you blind or did you feel like completely ignoring the fact that Mexican women acknowledge that a lot of Mexican men don't like white guys with Mexican girls. If that was something that is not an issue then why would the women she works with even bring it up? Also, I can't tell the difference between Mexicans and Guatemalans and Venezualans and so on very well, mainly because I don't see the later as often as I do the former. I was talking to my gf more and she was saying she can. It's not as if it is some amazing ability that Mexicans have or something. It's kind of like being able to tell the difference between a Chinese person and a Japanese person or between a German and an Englishman. Anyhow, I can generally tell what a Mexican looks like...Mexicans do have distinguishing traits you know? It's not as if it is racist to look at someone and think they are from a certain region of the world. It's like being able to tell if someone is from East Africa or West Africa or if they are from South East Asia or Korea or if they are from Sweden or Italy or if they are from America or Europe or if they are African American or African...just reiterating my point. If you said that you have had some bad experience with white people talking **** to you when you were with a white girl then that wouldn't be annoying to hear about, as you say. Finally, she has experienced racism except she doesn't look at it that way. If someone is offensive to her she is usually 10 times worse back to them and is fighting them soon after if they don't back down. While it does make it difficult with her sometimes it certainly makes sure she is always in control and people don't mess with her. Also, I am not overstating anything...it does happen a lot and I'm not trying to be all like "white people are so oppressed" as you say. I'm just saying it's racist and it happens...sorry if you don't believe or don't want to believe it but its true. But it's the same thing as if a white girl was with a black guy...there are white people who will give her dirty looks and talk **** about her. I think white Americans are probably more used to it now and its not as much of a taboo as it used to be, but it still happens often enough for it to be an issue. It's the same way with Mexican guys when they look at my gf with a white guy, except they aren't as used to it. I mean it's pretty obvious when you see the guys staring at you. Also, you know they are mostly Mexican because a lot of Mexicans live here. Mexican means from Mexico! Hope that made some more sense
Originally posted by robbie380 Are you blind or did you feel like completely ignoring the fact that Mexican women acknowledge that a lot of Mexican men don't like white guys with Mexican girls. If that was something that is not an issue then why would the women she works with even bring it up? Am I blind? I must be since I can't determine nationality by sight. You seem to be completely ignoring the fact that x women asking a question regarding the topic neither causes it to be all x women nor most x women that are concerned with the issue. That a Greek, Italian, Chinese, Polish, Irish, German, etc. woman asks another if a lot of Greek, Italian, Chinese, Polish, Irish, German, etc. men don't like white guys with Greek, Italian, Chinese, Polish, Irish, German, etc. women doesn't make it some widespread issue as you'd like to make it seem. If you weren't so stuck on perpetuating racial stereotypes you'd notice this quite easily. In fact in my own experience with dating Mexican girls I've had many times more trouble with the parents than random Mexican men walking past me. The problem in my experience with the parents has far more to do with them being socially conservative than anything to do with race. Also, I can't tell the difference between Mexicans and Guatemalans and Venezualans and so on very well, mainly because I don't see the later as often as I do the former. I was talking to my gf more and she was saying she can. It's not as if it is some amazing ability that Mexicans have or something. It's kind of like being able to tell the difference between a Chinese person and a Japanese person or between a German and an Englishman. Anyhow, I can generally tell what a Mexican looks like...Mexicans do have distinguishing traits you know? It's not as if it is racist to look at someone and think they are from a certain region of the world. It's like being able to tell if someone is from East Africa or West Africa or if they are from South East Asia or Korea or if they are from Sweden or Italy or if they are from America or Europe or if they are African American or African...just reiterating my point. Well maybe your girlfriend needs to be working in Quantico training people. It's not kind of like telling the difference between a Chinese and Japanese. Latinos even within nations are quite diverse in their skin colors/textures, facial features, hair colors/textures. If I were to line up latinos from all different countries you and your girlfriend would fail miserably in determining their nationalities. You're far more likely going on the assumption that they're Mexican and working off of that.
hokay youse splitting hairs, man jew either got balls or you ain't got balls oh, wait, that's Cuban nevermind
timing...i know that by only talking to a few it doesn't mean that everyone feels that way. but when you combine what every mexican woman that i've talked to has said with what my gf has said and her mom and with what i have seen and with what my gf has seen then it probably means that there is something going on. i know not every single mexican man has a problem with it. also, it's not a racial stereotype...if you want to be techinical it would be a cultural one. and your point about the parents is exactly the same thing that i am talking about...it is just closed mindedness on their part. it's the same thing as if a white family got mad about their child dating outside their race. in white families it tends to happen a lot more when the kid dates a black person from my experience. white guys in general will still give dirty looks to a white girl with a black guy. am i being overly stereotypical there as well? maybe i am or maybe it has just been my experience in my life that i have known being a white person. kind of like the experience that my gf has had in her life and what those other women have said. maybe they are being overly stereotypical of the men from their culture and maybe they don't know what they are talking about even though they are mexicans.
