[Need Advice] Helping Little Brother (College Dropout) Find a Job

Why won't your parents pay for it? Or at least help him get a loan or something? It's 4 classes for Pete's sake.

 

Try not to be condescending towards the guy. He's immature, he doesn't understand the real world, bla bla bla. You mean well of course, but at the same time it is clear you are very different people who have difficulty seeing each other's perspectives.

One of my closest friends was treated this way and he dragged his ass through a finance degree and working at 2 multinational banks. He has been miserable for it every single day of his life for the past 10 years with little to no savings to show for it. At every juncture, he told me that he's not sure he wants to do this. He was doing it because his father mentally terrorized him about it, saying all sorts of things like "are you going to let me die unhappy?" and "if you want to hang out with your little brothers and sisters, then you're going to play by my rules" - knowing full well he is uber family oriented.

What's he up to now? He quit his job, a 30 yr old guy wondering how to start over.

If you want what's best for him then:

- Support him as best you can but with a deadline.
- Try to get to the root of the problem, dig deeper.

You might find that you were right, but it is worth hashing this thing out so that neither of you regret it later on. If you dig deep and find nothing, he will see that and realize that he is letting an opportunity slip away. There is also the very real possibility that this path was a terrible idea and he has only just realized. Another possibility is that somewhere along the way, he changed and stopped giving a damn about the things he used to give a damn about - which is perfectly normal at his age.

Also, if it were my brother, I would look for any blatant signs of trauma, depression or drug abuse just to be safe. You never know till you know.

Good luck, I wish you guys the best.

 

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Who gives a crap he is a grown ass man. If he wants to deal drugs let him, he is done with high school and consider an adult. HE IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

 

why should his parents pay for it? he's a grown as man. they'll just become enablers.

this thread is a few months old. the OP gave an update to the situation on the last page.


dharocks, i know you want to help your brother but he needs to man up. if you keep babying him, he'll take advantage of your generosity and you'll just resent him.

 

Quit enabling him. If he wants the couch, he finishes school.

 

Tough situation. I am completely ignorant about depression so I have no advice to offer there.

However, if depression isn't the issue, then I'd say he just has no interest in working in accounting/finance for 30 years. There's gotta be something he has interest in. I would suggest he persues that no matter the bleak financial prospects of a career in that something.

 

Sounds like it's going well, great news.

 

Parents don't have to do anything. I'm about to have a girl and I fully plan on paying for her college education just like my parents did for me and my 3 siblings. My younger brother is in med school and my parents pay for it with cash..no loans. We plan on taking care of our parents once they retire even though they should have their own income. It's the circle of life. My parents took care of their parents since the early 80's. Both of my remaining grandparents passed away in the last 30 days

 

you and your brother sound like you want to succeed. that would make any parents proud and that the money they invest in you two is worth it. dharock's brother seems like he is just looking for a free ride.

 

I get that but isn't that when some parenting might come into use? I'll be damned if I let my son or daughter quit school esp with 4 classes left. I guess it's easier said than done but didn't they enable him by letting him stay at home for so long while doing nothing?

 

Accounttemps (Robert Half)
Tempfinders

He should be able to land a job fairly easily. Getting his CPA may be the way to go but he'll work crap hours for ultimately the same pay as O&G jobs.

 

Don't force him to do what he doesn't want to do. It's his life, as long as he's not hurting anyone else he can do anything he wants.

 

Glad he graduated and hope he realizes that he should pay you back for all your help. Most importantly, I hope he starts talking to your parents again. That has to be tough for them. I have a son graduating with a computer engineering degree in December, and another kid who's a junior in high school. It would really upset us if our son suddenly broke off contact... no visits, no phone calls. We spent a fortune paying his way through school (he doesn't owe a dime, and realizes how lucky he is, thank god), and I bet your folks shelled out a hell of a lot over the years, love him, and don't deserve to be treated this way.

Anyway, good luck with him going forward. He's damned lucky to have a brother who cares. Not everyone does.

 

Man, more patience than me. As long as his life was not in immediate danger, I would have let him get a wake up call. I am a lazy bast...I mean lazy, and I work to live, but I can't stand those that just leech off others and sit around wasting away.

 

You are such a good guy dharocks, many blessings will return to you my friend!