Where you have everything you want, but you're just not happy. My two boy's are in college (technically, they both just finished finals and are between semesters), I have no material wants that I can't get (within reason, but I'm not a guy that has to have to newest, fanciest, most expensive stuff), I'm financially stable, I have a secure job that seems to really be going smooth right now, I have a roof over my head, I'm relatively healthy, and the things that I'm not happy about, I have no control over anyway.
Think about the other people that wish they were in your position. Perspective always has a way of making you appreciate the struggles you DON'T have.
It's a point in life filled with peaks and valleys -- your right now looks good so think back one year. Are you better now than a year ago -- then you're heading up a peak so stay on target. If you feel worse evaluate what changes you can make to get out of the valley and start the journey back up to a peak.
Don't get me wrong. I'm well aware of the struggles others have had. I've been there myself. I just kind of thought once I got to this point in life, things would be a little more not "blah".
A strong sense of purpose is a key to human flourishing, and it is not necessarily easy to come by. All but a very few go through at least some times of struggle with this. Once I realized I was born to crack wise on a basketball BBS, everything kind of fell into place.
I go through this periodically. Yes, it does help to remember that there's probably a billion people that would trade places with you. At the same time, its ok to want better/more. I just always try to keep pushing. If you're not moving forward, you could get bored.
Definitely better than a year ago. Everything is great financially and professionally. I don't know if its the holiday blues, or I'm getting old and grumpy, or if this is just the way it is when there is little to no stress in life, or I'm going through something I don't understand.
a little volunteer work could get you out of that rut. I personally enjoy doing some community work during the holidays. Reminds me that humanity isn't entirely garbage.
Hmmm....that's something to think about. I've worked so hard to get rid of all the stresses in my life, now that I've gotten there, I don't know what to do.
Yeah, but I've been kind of trying to avoid most people except my immediate family and my best friend.
Do you do any traveling? With your kids in college maybe what you need to recharge the batteries is a couple of trips a year. I'd say start domestically with big cities and then islands and then international travel. Create a list of place you never imagined you'd see yourself, pack one bag and go. That's what I'll be doing in about twelve years, once my son is in college I'm becoming a vagabond. And congrats on getting two kids in college that's an accomplishment as a parent, I hope you take pride in that
I do enjoy traveling, and as a teacher, my big travel trips have to happen in the summer...at least until I retire in 3-4 years, but I do get out of region and state about once every 3 months.
I agree with @B-Bob. I think getting to the place you are now was a purpose and gave you drive. It is a focus and something with the possibility of successes along the way. Successes feel good. Once you get there and adjust then it is a huge change. You no longer have that purpose/urgent drive/motivating goal pushing you on to the next chance for success or failure. Take some time if your profession allows you any free time and do some research. Find a hobby or new passion to give you drive. It doesn't have to be something huge either. It can be tutoring youth in basketball as a part of a charity. It could be helping a charity or some well-meaning organization that isn't organized to get their crap together. Those specific things aren't actually simply targeted to you, but examples of the types of things that might help you find some purpose. I would say try to find something that is more long-term rather than something that is one and done like giving blood. First, take the time to try different things and find something that interests you and for which you have a passion.
EXCELLENT subject. I was thinking about this just this morning. I'm ridiculously fortunate. Retired early, wonderful wife who provides way more than we need, and a son who's the epitome of the perfect child. I have nothing to complain about, and yet I'm unhappy. I blame nothing and nobody other than myself, and perhaps the fact that we're lagging in mental health knowledge. I've got it so ****ing good, and yet I can't seem to enjoy it. Hell, I feel guilty because surely somebody else is much more deserving of my great fortune. I've no advice for you...........other than I hope and pray that mental health science catches up enough to help me before I pass on.
Have you thought about going back to school to just dive into other subjects you never had the chance too? I think it's healthy to not want more and fall too deep into consumerism, but you definitely should think about what you want out of life. You mentioned traveling, maybe throw in more time planning a great trip and the next trip as well to keep yourself busy.
do you have any creative hobbies? playing music, painting, drawing, ballet, ect? if not, maybe now is the time to take up a new hobby.
Don't get me wrong guys, I have a hobby that I absolutely love...fishing on the bay. I think that really brings me the most peace and happiness, but I feel like there has been a definite change in my personality. It is causing some discussion from my gf as to what's going on with me. I think I should have put out there that this is a big change because I used to enjoy going out, drinking, dancing, doing crazy stuff, working out, going on adventures, taking hikes....and now the only thing I am bothering to do is fish, watch TV, go see a movie, or get on the PS4. I have no desire to do stuff, improve stuff, buy stuff...It's like I'm in a hole.
I would recommend trying something that really gets you out of your comfort zone. My wife and I did some country swing classes. I was in a funk and I had literally zero interest in it other than my wife wanted to do it. I dislike country music and dancing. Low and behold I started to get into it and enjoyed it. Try something new that forces you to stretch yourself a bit. If we are comfortable we are not improving, its as simple as that. I feel like we are always subconsciously seeking to get better and improve, and feeling like you have arrived can actually be a bit depressing.
