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The Ultra-Efficient Random Video Thread

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by m_cable, Jul 22, 2006.

  1. Cohete Rojo

    Cohete Rojo Contributing Member

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    hooroo Member

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  3. GIGO

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    ^ unintentionally funny R. Kelly's family
     
  4. No Worries

    No Worries Contributing Member

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  5. No Worries

    No Worries Contributing Member

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  6. No Worries

    No Worries Contributing Member

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  7. No Worries

    No Worries Contributing Member

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  8. Cohete Rojo

    Cohete Rojo Contributing Member

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  9. Bandwagoner

    Bandwagoner Contributing Member

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    bill worrell calling a mike tyson fight in 1985 at the ramada in houston.
     
  10. cheke64

    cheke64 Member

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  11. Cohete Rojo

    Cohete Rojo Contributing Member

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    Carl Herrera Contributing Member

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  13. No Worries

    No Worries Contributing Member

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  14. Carl Herrera

    Carl Herrera Contributing Member

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  15. No Worries

    No Worries Contributing Member

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    This is seriously NSFW.

    Hits the politics-religion-sex trifecta



    For those who can not hit play:

    [Verse 1:]
    All my life I've been good
    Do what my mom and dad and God say I should
    Go to church and Bible School
    To live by God's rule
    So whatever people tell me
    That The Bible tells me
    I will do
    Walk the halls of high school with my purity ring
    Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
    It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend
    And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
    But I made a pact to keep my hymen intact
    And Jesus and I are tight
    Never learned about the birds and the bees
    I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
    Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong
    But Jason says that guys can't wait that long
    I don't want to lose him to someone who'll do him
    I need to figure something out
    Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well
    So I can get him off without going to hell
    It's my Hail Mary, full of grace
    In Jesus' name we go to fifth base
    Oh, thank you for making me holy
    And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
    And since I'm not a godless whore
    He'll have to come in the back door
    Therefore

    [Hook:]
    **** me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus
    The good Lord would want it that way
    Gimme that sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
    It's just between you and me
    'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see

    [Verse 2:]
    It's hard to be as pure as me
    To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
    To wait until my marriage bed
    To give my husband my unsullied maiden head
    So take your cock out
    Shove it in my ass
    **** me until you cum
    Oops! I mean let's join our souls
    And unite our bodies
    And fly with the wings of God
    Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
    If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
    And no prophylactics when you put it in
    'Cause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin
    I've emptied my bowels
    And laid out the towels
    I'm ready for romance
    Now I'm praying to the Power that's the Highest
    But of all of my holes, this one's the driest
    And we can't procreate if we anally copulate
    And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight
    And I'm staying pure, no matter what
    So I'm OK with everything but...
    Everything but...
    Everything butt

    [Hook:]
    **** me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus
    The good Lord would want it that way
    Gimme that sweet sensation of a rock hard rationalization
    It's just between you and me
    'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see

    [Verse 3:]
    I do whatever The Bible tells me to
    Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
    Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
    But the rest I live by for sure
    So let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
    And how it condones slavery and killing gays
    because those parts don't count, of course
    Let's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and mine it for ambiguities and omissions
    To circumvent any real sacrifice, but still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
    And don't you dare question my convictions
    And don't look closely at the contradictions
    Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
    And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
    As the only way to measure if you're good or not
    And in a debate, just say to “have faith”
    Because when you're up against logic, it's the only card you've got
    So close your eyes
    Take a deep breath
    And..

    [Hook:]
    **** me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus
    The good Lord would want it that way
    Gimme that sweet sensation of an irrational rationalization
    It's just between you and me
    'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see

    [Outro:]
    Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
    But sometimes you need to think outside the box[/URL]
     
  16. No Worries

    No Worries Contributing Member

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