T H E T O P T E N Top ten reasons why all squirrels must die 1. Squirrels are the spawn of Satan. They are evil creatures that live mysterious lives in the forests plotting against the rest of the world. 2. Squirrels cause millions dollars of damage to power transformers and lines every year. They are one of the top causes of power outages and damage to very expensive equipment. They seem to be attracted to transformers and fly into them like Kamikaze pilots. 3. Squirrels have been the cause of deaths of innocent citizens from automobile wrecks throughout the years. How many times have innocent automobile drivers barely avoided running off the road trying to miss (or to hit) a squirrel taunting them in the middle of the road? Some are not so lucky and wreck due to these furry little beasts. 4. Squirrels do millions of dollars worth of home damage. They are masters of break-ins destroying siding, vents, wires, etc. in the process. 5. Squirrels have no respect for privacy or property rights. They move into attics and will not leave. They are not invited. An attic is not an oak tree, and they know this. They are too lazy to build their own homes so they try to take over someone else's. They move around in the attic at night scaring young kids and women. 6. Squirrels are notorious thieves, they steal food and property from other animals and people. They are the most skilled thieves on the planet. They are hated by birds and their watchers all over. They love to steal nuts and fruits. When measures are taken to prevent them from getting the prize, they try that much harder. 7. Squirrels assault people's gardens all over the world causing millions of dollars in crop damage. They get into people's gardens and destroy the vegetables, fruits, and flowers. They rarely even consume them, they just destroy them for the fun of it. 8. Squirrels caused the black plague in Europe and currently carry numerous life threatening diseases including rabies and bubonic plague. It is a historic fact that squirrels, as well as their brothers the rats, were one of the carriers of the black plague in the Middle Ages throughout Europe leading to the horrible deaths of millions. 9. Squirrels are the most vicious animal on the planet and will attack any animal or human they come in contact with. There are countless documented accounts of squirrel attacks. They terrorize people and are vicious foes. It is no accident that squirrels are portrayed in film as they are, insane little creatures that do not think anything of attacking people. 10. Squirrels kill and castrate other squirrels. Naturalists that have studied squirrels have discovered many alarming behaviors among them. Squirrels fight even among themselves. A Male squirrel will invade the tree of an enemy squirrel and bite of the testicles of the young in the nest. HOME www.deadsquirrel.com
If squirrels are so bad, why is this on the list? Maybe #10 is the exception. "9 reasons why squirrels suck and 1 reason why they are better than cats. "
I can certainly attest to #1 and #9, but I'd like to see some stats or other info to support the other 8 items, please? BTW, save your ammo and get a Schnauzer. Shooting at them as they leap from treebranch to treebranch across your back yard is inefficient. Get a Schnauzer (they have a natural hatred for anything rat-like, particularly squirrels), put some food out (on the ground, not in a tree), and just sit back and watch the party... I know this from personal experience. I live in a squirrel-infested area, have a Schnauzer, and don't like to spend too much on ammo.
from a quick google search Squirrel Philosophy Comparison of Squirrel Philosophical Theories in the Late 20th Century Capitalist Squirrels - He who dies with the most nuts, wins. Hari Krishna Squirrels - He who plays with the most nuts, wins. Catholic Squirrels - He who denies himself the most nuts, wins. Anglican Squirrels - They were our nuts first. Greek Orthodox Squirrels - No, they were OURS first. Atheist Squirrels - There is no nut maker. Polytheist Squirrels - There are many nut makers. Church of Christ Scientist Squirrels - We are the nuts. Communist Squirrels - Everyone gets the same number of nuts. B'Hai Squirrels - All nuts are just fine with us. Taoist Squirrels - The pecan is as important as the almond. Mormon Squirrels - Every boy squirrel can have as many nuts as he wants. 7th day Adventist Squirrels - He who plays with his nuts on Sabbath, loses. Southern Baptist Squirrels - If your nut is a Disney product, you have a one-way ticket to hell. Jehovah's Witness Squirrels - He who sells the most nuts door-to-door, wins. Pentecostal Squirrels - He whose nuts can talk, wins. Existential Squirrels - Nuts are a figment of your imagination. Confucian Squirrels - Once a nut is dipped in water, it is no longer dry. Non-denominationalism Squirrels - We don't care where the nuts came from, let's just play with them. Agnostic Squirrels - It is not possible to know whether nuts make a bit of difference. Unitarian Universalist Squirrels - We still haven't decided if the nuts exist. All Squirrels must die
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A18284-2001Oct31 Here is the additional info. you requested about these dispicable, wretched rodents...
Just how inclusive is the umbrella category of squirrel? While I might agree that your standard eastern grey squirrel is a mennace to society, do all squirrel species qualify as evil? Here's a link to a listing of the world's squirrel species. I don't know about you, but I've always found the Marmota species of squirrel, especially M. flaviventris (AKA the Yellow-bellied Marmot, seen bleow) to be a particularly agreeable species. <center></center> How about the black giant squirrel of SE Asia: <center></center> Can't say I've ever seen one of them, but they don't look like your run of the mill squirrels. What about the cute little Chipmunks? or even the flying squirrels? And tell me, how can you hate this guy? He's looking at you, ROXRAN, and saying: <center></center> <center>ROXRAN, I love you! Don't hate me!</center> How can you hate anything that cute?
Thanks, ROXRAN. I really am serious about the Schnauzer. Get one and you will never have a problem with diabolical rodents again. We used to have rats (it's also a rat-prone area - woody), but since we got the little one to patrol the place, not a peep outta them. They're all gone. The squirrels still try to sneak a toke every once in a while, but within a minute the dog is on them like flies on sh*t. No problem here, and I have yet to waste a single round on rodent infestation... Schnauzer's the way to go. What kinda dog are you using? I feel this conversation just passed the "redneck" threshold...
BTW, worse than the squirrel, is this evil b*stard: Possums are sort of like redneck trailer trash neighbors. They hang out in the yard, drag their little kiddies around, eat trash, destroy the neighborhood, and give you attitude when you try to run them off. Not only are they destructive, but they're surly when they're being destructive. It completely boggles my mind how the rednecks of Tennessee hunt these giant rats and eat them. Really. I'd rather join the Donner party than eat these things.
All those squirrel pics look the same to me,...You liberals, or squirrel sympathizers always try to portray the damn, little critters as innocent beings doing their own thing, but I be damn if one of you yankees trump an emotional chord with me....We all know how bad they are...hang em high and put em in the icebox I say!
Ottomaton: That squirrel wants to eat your feces. Or your cable lines. Don't think for a second that it likes you, or even respects you... Don't be fooled.
I have four cats. They're all evil bastards. None of them would ever do anything to help me. If I was dying in front of them, they'd probably be arguing over who gets to gets first dibs on the tasty parts. In fact, one time, while playing with one of my cats, he put a cut in my finger that was dripping blood like a leaky fosset. In a fit of anger, I splashed the blood all over him, hopeing that it'd make him realise what he'd done. I swear to god that, after licking the blood off of his lips, the cat gave me a suprised look that said, "Damn, he scratches me behind the ears, and he tastes good. I can't decide which part I like more." I accept, however, that Cats are what they are. They're cute, and just as they use me for someone to provide them food, I use them for entertainment, and we're both up front about it. Also, they're small enough and uptight enough that I know I can always 'shout them down' if I have to. Same for the furry little squirrel. While they may be so destructive as to be considered an extreeme nusence, I've never heard of anybody's pit-squirrel escaping and killing their neighbor, nor have I heard of wild packs of howling squirrels killing cattle in western states. They aren't as angry as Raccoons, nor are they as plain mean and ugly as Possums. There are chipmunks in the Colorado Rockies that will come up to you and politely take peanuts from your hand. Just feet away from Old Faithfull, there are corpulent, lazy marmots that live off of begging scraps from visitors. Both of these squirrel-like creatures feature prominantly into memories of my youth. IMO, their furry, cute, and fearfull/less-than-violent attitude toward people go at least some way towards mitigating the case against them. I understand if you disagree.
#11) My damn dogs never quit hunting for squirrels even for a second. It's all they do...as if they have been pre-programmed to hunt squirrels. To make matters worse, two Ridgebacks working in tandem never catch the squirrels. They always get away. I cannot walk my dogs normally in the park as they are always tugging on the retractable leash to get to the squirrels. So, my dogs end up gagging and choking on the spiked collars and I get pissed and yank on the leash really hard. Then, the vicious cycle repeats itself. It's like my dogs are addicted to crack...but it's not crack....it's squirrel. That tail drives them crazy. Those funny little noises they make drive them crazy. The squirrels taunt my dogs as if their saying I can climb trees and you can't.....hah hah.
One of my cats used to really love to chase squirrels, to no avail. Finally, one day, he managed to sneak up on one from behind a tree and grab ahold of him. I'll never forget the 'what the hell do I do now?' look on his face, as the squirrel ran away. I find it intresting, surfguy, that your ridgebacks are unable to catch the squirrels. Those dogs are the biggest bad-asses in the world. My father used to have a friend who couldn't let his ridgeback in his backyard unattened, as it'd always kill something or other. It used to wait at some specific spot where the birds and squirrels thought they were safe on a fence, an it'd sneak up, jump in the air, and grab 'em off of the top. They were breed to pack-hunt Lions in south africa. Do you not have a yard or anyplace to let them run free?
A breed of dog Surfguy may want to consider and treeman should avoid is the Great Pyrenees. When I had a Pyr, it could never even notice a squirrel. We'd walk in the woods and there's be squirrels darting all about (plotting to kill me) and my dog would be completely and blissfully ignorant of anything that might be about. She also didn't notice birds or snakes. But, she was very attracted to dogs, cats and armadillos.
To my knowledge, they have never caught one. They have been very close on occassion where they overrun the squirrel and it gets away. I did find a dead squirrel one time in my backyard but may have been electrocuted rather than attacked by my dogs. My two dogs are female sisters...I'm not sure if that matters but I was always told the females are more aggressive than the males(which may not be true). My dogs use the sneak tactic as well....they just haven't perfected it. They fare much better at hunting frogs where the one will try to eat the frog and end up foaming badly at the mouth. They try to eat little chicks that fall from their nests. Those are hilarious moments and I always come to the rescue of the frogs and chicks. As far as my yard, I have a huge backyard full of trees and squirrels. When they were puppies, they didn't even notice the squirrels. I guess that genetic hunting instinct kicked in. I have a big shed in my backyard and they always try to use that for sneak attacks where basically they barrel around the shed going 30 mph hoping a squirrel is behind the shed. They are strong dogs and when they play together....they play rough. They run around the yards at full speed and get all crazy biting at each other(most dogs do this anyway but the ridgeback excels at this type of rough play). I'm well aware of the Ridgeback background as far as hunting goes. They are great dogs...they were a little tough to raise from puppyhood and the teething...man...they chewed up the trees and bark...the furniture....a lot of stuff. Crate training helped a great deal and I would not have survived without it. At one point, I almost called it quits because they were little fanatics but they have matured and gelled nicely. Maybe if I actually took them hunting for real...then they could have perfected their skills. Squirrels know not to wander to far from the trees or they will be toast. It's a strange relationship between a ridgeback and a squirrel. Their always messing with each other. Surf
