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The Murphy’s Law thread

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by Will, Apr 20, 2016.

  1. Will

    Will Clutch Crew
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    I’m starting this thread for my fellow cynics who enjoy bitter humor. If you prefer to be positive, this thread’s not for you, but please understand that pessimists are fans, too. In fact, we’re some of the strongest fans, because we stick with the team even though we seldom think the weather is or will be good.

    So the theme of this thread is how bad things can get. We know how good they can get: You win the title, you win it again, you become a dynasty, you break the record for games won in a regular season, etc.

    But things can get bad, and then worse, and then worse again, in lots of ways. Usually in ways we haven’t thought of, because people don’t like to think about bad possibilities.

    Right now, we’re in one of those seasons where things keep getting worse. After making it to the WCF, we suck. Players don’t play as well, individually or together, as they did last year. We shell out millions to Corey Brewer, whom I absolutely adored last season, and in return we get … this. We try to salvage the future by trading for a pick, but the trade gets voided. Howard continues his decline. Harden fails to develop an off-the-ball game. We bring in Ty Lawson, and we discuss all the possible outcomes of that trade, and we agree that even the worst-case outcome isn’t bad. And then it turns out that we underestimated how bad the worst case can be. We can’t even find somebody willing to take him off our hands. So we dump him with a buyout. But, hey, at least we won’t lose that draft pick we gave up for him, right? The pick is lottery protected, and we’re sucking, so we’ll keep the pick, right?

    But, no, we manage to lose the pick. Not by getting our act together and playing our way into the playoffs, mind you, but by continuing to suck and somehow being out-sucked by Utah. So now we’ve lost the pick. But, hey, we should be happy about that, right? That’s what we follow sports for: to watch our team get its chance and give its all, right? The playoffs are a whole new season! Except … they aren’t. We suck just as bad in the postseason as we did in the season.

    We could have played a little bit better late in the season and beaten Phoenix or Dallas and made out way to the 6th seed. But, no, we had to do just well enough to lose our pick and face Golden State. Our chance to shock the world, right? A week ago, my worst-case scenario was that we would get blown out by 20 points every game. The good news is, we already avoided that. The bad news is that we didn’t make that happen: The Warriors did, by resting Curry. So now we have a worst-case scenario I hadn’t imagined: Not only will we get swept, but we won’t even get the credit we might have gotten for playing a historically great team. No, we’re headed for the worst of all words: getting crushed by a team that’s playing with one hand tied behind its back. Defeat plus condescension plus humiliation.

    It’s not even enough that they rested Curry for a game at home. No, they’re now going to rest him while they play us in Houston. That’s how little they fear us. Oh, and did I mention that with a healthy Beverly and Motiejunas, our excuses for losing last year are ripped away? It’s as though history has conspired to expose just how inferior we are. I had my own excuse: that Kevin McHale was a bad coach. Excuse gone! With him out of the picture, we still suck heartily.

    So now I’m wondering how the rest of the story plays out. Does visible on-court indifference spread among the players? Do a couple of them get into a fight? Do the Warriors rest two starters and still beat us? Do the ping pong balls bounce for the Nuggets and give them Ben Simmons using our pick? I’m not even sure which bad scenario is the ugliest. Which is worse: Howard leaving, or Howard discovering he can’t get more money and therefore opting in? Brewer staying, or Brewer being traded at negative value and regaining his form somewhere else? And surely we can find a coach worse than McHale and sign him to a 3-year deal. There’s always a worse coach out there. We pessimists have faith.

    But I bet you’ve thought of a worst-case scenario I haven’t imagined. What is it?
     
    4 people like this.
  2. heypartner

    heypartner Contributing Member

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    Even Murphy's Law Threads can suffer from Murphy's Law: tinman is going to take over this thread in attempts to make it positive.
     
  3. boiler

    boiler Member

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    Pacers and Hornets go far in the playoffs with Ty and Jeremy starring?
     
  4. Tenchi

    Tenchi Contributing Member

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    I disagree with you that Motiejunas is healthy. Worst case scenario the Rockets show some grit beat the Warriors and end up being swept by the Mavs in the WCF. It could happen but never will happen.
     
  5. heypartner

    heypartner Contributing Member

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    By sucking so bad, Howard fears getting a good deal as a FA so opts in...and Harden loses it on National TV in response admitting they never got along all season. So, no coach wants to come here after confirmed bickering gone wild (pun intended).
     
  6. Pizza_Da_Hut

    Pizza_Da_Hut I put on pants for this?

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    So Calvin Murphy was a self hating rockets fan? Or is that the law that the team that scores 100 points wins.
     
  7. Deuce

    Deuce Context & Nuance

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    We don't know, but by getting into the playoffs the Rockets might not have had enough time to woo Thibs if he was their #1 target (sounds like he would have taken the Minny job anyway, but you never know).
     
  8. conquistador#11

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    jvg decides to give Lex a second chance, takes the job. Then, the superbowl happens and harden's date from instagram forgets to wake him up but takes all the cash. Harden is late for team activities....gets traded at the dead line.
     
  9. Mr. Clutch

    Mr. Clutch Contributing Member

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    Dwight on an expiring? Might not be a bad asset to have
     
  10. Os Trigonum

    Os Trigonum Contributing Member
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    uh, I just want to compliment Will on this masterful summary of the season . . . really nicely done, and captures every step of the way with extreme accuracy. well done, hat tip to you. ;) will get back to you with my worst case. pretty sure it ends up with Harden and Durant on the Lakers.
     
  11. Fuzzybear

    Fuzzybear Contributing Member

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    In my book, the next worst possible scenario is...

    - Sign Scott Brooks to a multiyear
    - Durant decides to go somewhere else
    - Morey gets fired
    - We get a "Basketball guy" like Bryan Colangelo who starts using up capspace on mediocre talent

    This would be an absolute doomsday scenario into complete and utter despair for the next 5-7 years reminiscent of the Steve Francis Iso Era.

    Best Case Scenario

    - Scott Brooks signs with Washington
    - JVG spurns us
    - We actually get smart and sign Ettore Messina
    - Kevin Durant decides to come here anyway
    - We get Al Horford or some other solid pickup
    - Our Offense and Defense makes a Mark Jackson -> Steve Kerr level jump
    - We roll over the league and shut up the haters

    I can dream, can't I... sigh I know it'll never happen esp. with Les
     
  12. Giant9erRocket

    Giant9erRocket Hakeem Olajuwon Status
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    Worst case scenario:

    We sign Jeremy Lin in the offseason.
     
  13. HR Dept

    HR Dept Contributing Member

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    Howard opts in and James opts out by demanding a trade. Morey trades Harden to a team like Boston and stockpiles picks, and the organization tries to sell us on their plans to continue the legacy of big men and build around Howard. Morey hires Lionel Hollins as the new coach even though Hollins' supposed luke warm stance on analytics is partly why he was run out of Memphis. The GARM becomes full of threads about Isaiah Canaan, David Andersen, James White, Mike Harris clones on the roster and why they're the next big thing and should be starting or given more playing time.
     
    #13 HR Dept, Apr 20, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2016
  14. whiskeyred

    whiskeyred Contributing Member

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    Great post - How is it not Harden, I like the guy but I feel no one wants to play with this guy.
     
  15. Will

    Will Clutch Crew
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    Good point! That would be useful. Therefore, per Murphy, it won't happen.
     
  16. bigred77

    bigred77 Member

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    Good lord.... I'm an ETERNAL optimist to the point where I still hold out the last shred of hope that we can shock the world... but these are my worst fears:

    - Dwight getting a serious injury in this series, and then opting-in to the last year of his contract, and using next year as rehab for one final contract :eek:

    - The Rockets signing Scott Brooks as the next head coach:eek:

    - Harden going on a rant that antagonizes the entire city of Houston to the point that the organization has no choice but to trade him :eek:

    - Finally, Morey becoming so exasperated that he re-acquires Jeremy Lin :eek:
     
  17. Zergling

    Zergling Member

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    We didn't give Denver a lottery pick since we made the playoffs, so at least we can say they can get Simmons from our pick.

    Dwight opting in isn't the end of the world since we can immediately trade him. Question though is can we even get a bag of beans for him? His huge contract would help a lot as a salary filler though.
     
  18. Zergling

    Zergling Member

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    Look, as bad as all of this is, keep things in perspective. Even just within the realm of sports. We still have a team. Look what happened to Sonics fans.
     
  19. basso

    basso Contributing Member
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    Les retires to his wine club in the hamptons, sells team to Trump.
     
  20. alethios

    alethios Member

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    This team has taught me to embrace pessimism. They are truly a miserable team.

    But it will all be over soon.
     
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