Okay, in light of my recent opening up in here, I feel all warm and fuzzy about this site now, and yes, this is a sober post. But I started to think of this place in terms of a weird sort of extended family unit. And then, as I am wont to do, I went way too far with it...and started to think of who fills what stereotypical role in here. SO I thought, as i am also wont to do, hey, why not go throw a few thousand more words at your BBS friends and listen to their half-hearted, tolerant, and mostly pitty inspired responses while chuckling about how clever I think I am...( was that out loud?) So, if you were to view this place in a sit-com family dynamic light, and were to think of who fills what standard role, who would be waht? I know that there are problems with this; I would rpefer to not base things on gender, and have purposely corssed that line, and i know that there are several prominent posters who don't really fit into a specific role, and hope that they won't take not being mentioned as somehow being less significant. Also, since taking several blows to the head in the last...er..lifetime, I have a poor memory for names of anyone but historical or sports related people I don't know personally. Ok, here goes: Mother: Manny Ramirez. Or, rather, manny is the mother we wish we could get. He's also make an awesome older borther, but there are more candidates for that role, and manny is the kind and gentle conscience of this place. Father: First instinct is to say Clutch, fo obvious reasons, and as i don't want to get sent to my room, I'll stick with that...But some day soon I will rebel against paternal authority, I swear... Older Brothers: Jeff...the cool, laid back one whom all your friends like, and not just cause he'll score for them. MadMax... The goal oriented one that comes in for meals and messages, and gets hollered at for treating the house 'like a hotel'! Mrs. JB...The sarcastic one who always does well at everything, making following in her footsteps really annoying. " Why can't you be more like him!?!?' is the (semi) unspoken opinion of ma and pop. Older Sisters: HP...The one who always makes sure that no one is smoking in the house, and gets on your nerves for being so straight and narrow, but probably the one you turn to with a problem. Chance: The one always taking music lessons, and going into the bathroom to do her vocal excercises...and then asking you over and over if you like how they sound... Same Age Siblings of No Specific Gender: RM95..The one whose girfriend always hangs around the house, eats dinner with the family, and won't, no matter how hard you try, agree with your No Shirts In the House policy... glynch: The socially conscious one always wearing a protest T-shirt, and demanding to know if you've heard about the poor treatment of the Abjasquaka Indians in south central Peru, or somethin similar. treeman: The one who always had the haircut grandpa approved of, had a car at 16, and will beat up anyone who threatens you...or your friends, if the mood strikes him. Another Brother: The one who makes you laugh...after lights out...so you get into trouble with Father...and meanwhile AB is in the bedroom pretending to snore... Batman Jones: The one who will steal your girlfriend...even if you don't have one...and then act all sympathetic about your loss, and console you and look all sensative and **** just as the potential next girlfriend walks into the room... Younger Brothers: Codell: the one who is really nice, even if he's hanging around treeman too much, will help out with all the games, even if it means he's left keeping score, and will probably end up being your boss one day. Kam: the one who wants to play in every game, always swearing that he'll beat everyone, and tries to live up to the hype by taking every shot available...even if 'available' means the other side of halfcourt... Oski: The one who knows the name of every hot girl within a 5 mile radius, irrespective of whether he's met them or not. rimbaud: the one who'se always walking around, seemingly aimlesly, reading a Playboy magazine...with a copy of Gibbons' The Fall of The Roman Empire hidden underneath... Younger Sisters: Wind and Sea...the one who all your friends have a crush on, and whose room they always seem to 'end up in' on their way to the bathroom, although she is oblivious to the effect she has. DavidS: The one who embarrases you when your friends are over by knowing more about sports than you do... Lynus: The one who the family dog trails after, even when he yealls at it to leave him alone. Funny Uncles Named Bob: Bob Finn, B-Bob, and Smeggy...The ones who always crack you up, and who you wish were your father, even at the family bar-b-ques when they get drunk together and 'sing' the guitar riffs to Smoke on the Water...for hours... Other Uncles: Behad: the one who looks nostaglically at the three above at the bar-b-que, but keeps his drinking firmly in check, for family responsibility reasons... Refman: the one treeman takes after, except less so, if you know what I mean. Aunts: moestavern...The one who's always cleaning up after others, and gets no credit... Will: the 'succesfull' one on the family, who only shows up at holidays now, but always has a story to tell when she does. Cousins: johnheath: the one who will win every argument...if only because he will say " I know you are, but what am I?" forty more times than you will ever be able to respond to... Timm: the one who works for the Rockets...and will, ahem, get you free tickets when you ask. Dakota: The one who everyone in the family really likes, and as such, you can't stand... Okay, there are plenty of others...and I actually decided to leave off some of the more notable characters (r-HEAD, Cohen, Timing, Gater,etc.)in the hopes that someone will feel inspired to write something subsequent out of pity for me and to give others their due... So...how about it?
Mmmh...okay... Macbeth's alternative: 1) Spend an hour with a p*rn star. (-) 2) Spend an hour writing a really long post about some guys on the Internet you have never met. (+) Dude, you have issues .
Macbeth, The older brother who is in prison and has internet access so he can live in his alternative world. All the while laughing as innocent victims fall for his incessant lines of BS. How does that suit ya? DD
I'm the forgotten middle child. The studious but balanced nerd, who's unobtrusive nature allows him to somehow meddle in the rest of the families goings on. Oski has to be the wisecracking neighbor who lives next door but spends more time at the house than his own.
huh? evil? Anything but...although her laugh can sound sort of jarring at times, which was a surprise, but not in an evil way.
Lol! I actually did forget about A-Train, which is bad. There are other great posters I intentionally left off, to encourage follow-ups, but Mea Culpa A-Train...you deserve mention. Anyone have any ideas?
Can I be the malignant, deformed stepson hidden in the attic that nobody ever talks about? PSJ and SJC can be my haggish playmates.
