Life ****ing sucks right now. So my ex-girlfriend left me around 3 months ago because I didn't want to marry her yet. Long story short, we had been together for 2 and a half years and things were good. She gave me the marriage ultimatum around 2 years in because she is 29 (I'm 30) and wanted to know if we were going anywhere. Problem is, she and my mother don't get along so great. I am all that my mother has. I'm the only child and she is divorced. My ex wouldn't understand that, and she had jealousy issues about my mother. She would say stuff like "will I ever be your #1, or is it always going to be your mother?" My ex said that if we were married, she wouldn't be happy if I visited my mother more than twice a week. She wouldn't be happy if I went to my mother's and spent the night because my ex didn't want to be left alone. My mother didn't like my ex because she felt that she didn't do certain things like walk her to the door when my mother was leaving my apartment, things like that. Anyway, I have been hanging out with my ex the past couple of months, about once a week. I know that deep down she still wants me to propose. I really love her and I am happy with her except for the whole mother issue. I am moving out of NYC to Baltimore next week. I'm giving my ex her stuff back from my apartment this Friday. I am contemplating proposing to her then. Things are just so ****ed. I don't know what to do.
Only if you can see yourself living with that girl the rest of your life. I'm kind of in the same boat. My gf gave me the talk about wanting to have a ring on her finger before she's 30. I admitted honestly, I love her but I'm not at all at a point in my life where I'm ready for marriage. I'm back in College and finishing in the spring. Only propose if you love her and feel that's what you want. Not just because you feel bad or something. Good Luck.
First, your girl's right in theory. Wife has to be number 1. Mom can't be. This conflict is why there are so many jokes about in-laws. And, if you get married, it would be strange to go sleep at your mom's by yourself. That said, wife should be Number 1 because you made the choice, not because she demands it. Second, don't put any time locks on yourself. If it is what you want to do, go ahead, but you can probably wait... some time and space might be good for a little perspective. If you just can't stand it, tell her that after you moved, you realized what you had lost and you don't want to lose her again. Third, there are few girls that are good enough for any Mom's son. Disregard the criticisms your Mom has and make up your own mind. Good luck.
you mean if my ex loved me, she wouldn't limit how much I could see my mother? or that if I loved my ex I wouldn't be running off to see my mom?
At the end of the day that girl might leave you because who knows what goes in a female's head. You only have one set of parents.
a lil token of appreciation for the advice and replies so far. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pvYsud2YWg
I would have to say that it is my theory that a man should not be rushed into proposing to someone based on an ultimatum. I think that's dumb, and if someone truly wants to marry someone, they will do it without having to have an ultimatum. That said, my girlfriend and I have been together 4 and a half years. We're still young (I'll be 22 in a month, and she'll be 21 in about 4 months), and I think that's the only reason why I haven't proposed yet. She is the woman I want to marry, and I know that. She is great at just about everything she does, she's brilliant, she's beautiful, etc., etc. (I could go on and on, but I don't want to hijack the thread). My mom has been pressuring me to ask her for like a year now (my family all gets along with her), and her mom has brought it up in the past, also. After saying all that, I will probably propose to her within the next few months.
I don't know how guys like you get by in life. I don't want to see my mom twice a month, much less twice a week. I'd kill myself. Seriously, it is time to cut the umbilical cord and start being a man. If you don't propose, you are doing both of you a favor because you aren't going to be happy unless you are sucking on Mommy's titty every other day and she isn't going to be happy because she's married to a dude that's p***y whipped by his Mom. I know I sound like I'm being a dick, and I probably am being a dick, but Jesus H and a pancake, it's time for you and your mom to both grow up. You can't be her life and she can't live her life through you. It isn't fair to either one of you.
marriage is more than just a union between a husband and a wife. marriage is really a union between two families. so if your wife doesn't get along with your mom, that is not going to be a happy marriage.
