My whole life I have been a terribly confident young man. (For you newer members I am 28 live in the hamptons and went to URI with Cuttino Mobley) I was an origonal Drunken poster with Drewdog, and was the father of several I fell in love tonight threads. never having trouble with women I was always confused why I would see absolutely amazing looking women with total duds. Now my arrogance is what makes most guys duds, but I mean they were clearly not wealthy guys too. they were just plain looking guys that did not exude personality and some how landed an amazing woman. now I have dated some specimins, and mainly alot of really nice girls, but it was always stiff confusing to see guys with girls "way out of their leagues" I am now one of those guys I had a girl come to my office to ask me out. She had never seen me, just talked to me on the phone for work purposes. 9 months of idle chatter that was almost completely work related and she decided she liked me. This is the first time that I have had someone like me without knowing what i looked like. and would ya know what... she is absolutely georgous. I dont get it, I have a woman that knows i am not wealthy. she infact makes 7k more than me a year She did not care what i look like, and i happen to be a bit overweight these days 6'1" 220 (20-30 off would be nice) Its freaking me out. I mean I am not incontroll of this relationship. first time in my life and I am not in controll. I went to the ocean with her last weekend and met her family. I am looking like your average 28 year old. a little extra around the middle, but not "un attractive" you know normal guy build. beer drinker body. and i am walking with a goddess and every single guy we walk past is staring. and i know what they are thinking "what does she see in him" the funny thing is that since I feel like i am not in controll I am saying o myself "what does she see in me" and I almost feel like I should watch my step, and do anything in my power not to screw things up. but I guess if she likes me i better just be myself. now she has to pass the 9 month test. No previous woman has lasted more than 9, but maybe since she approached me I will still want to be with her in 8 more months. PEACE
Middle aged, a lil pudgy, lives in The Hamptons and is dating a a georgeous woman. Something so familiar about this ........................
Lucky b*stard. . . congrats! Hope this goes well for you and to wherever you want it to go you lucky S.O.B.
You just had to do it didn't ya? Ka - Stan - Za! Good Luck VOR, you big pimp. Your title of "now im that guy" made me think of the old dude in the clubs that hits on young chicks, I thought you meant you were that guy.
Well, you could always ask her, in a conversational & not too self-depreciating manner, i.e. no "Why the f*** are you with me???" No need to walk on eggshells, just enjoy it, however long it lasts. Be honest & upfront, and if things work out they work out. ALWAYS be yourself. A man who puts on a front or tries to change to fit what he thinks a girl is looking for is no man at all.
KRAMER: Break up with her GEORGE: What? KRAMER: You break up with her. You reverse everything that way. JERRY: A preemptive breakup. GEORGE: A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up which she would do anyway but at least I go out with some Dignity. Completely turn the tables. It's absolutely brilliant. [MONKS] GEORGE: So, I am have to going to break up with you. NOEL: You're breaking up with me? GEORGE: I, ... am breaking up with, ... you.
VOR: Just an observation... Maybe the reason you've never had a relationship last longer than 9 monhts is because you can't imagine why a woman would like you for things that aren't completely superficial. Why would you WANT to date someone who cares only about you for something as blatantly superficial as how you look or how much money is in your bank account?
::Kam walks around looking at people:: How the hell did the Voice of Reason get that chick? Damn you're the man.
VOR, I would also suggest to go with your feelings & be yourself... don't think too much about things at superficial level... I've been caughtup with numerous situations where I was thinking way too much in relationships... e.g. caught up by family background, professions, personalities... & ended up second guessing my decisions & ended up not being myself... Best of luck!
Yeah, just to echo. The more you worry about why she's with you, the more she's going to pick up on that insecurity, walk all over you, then dump you for a more confident man. Just roll with it. She obviously digs you for some reason and maybe you can find that out. However, I wouldn't worry about it, just be happy that she wants to be with you!
well Jeff Maybe i came off a litte superficial I should say that I have always known that I had "the goods" I now am a little overweight, I know i am a poor man financially, I have all of the qualities that a woman can love and that can be used to love a woman, I truely know what I have to offer. and it still is alot. however this time she came for me, and I am at a small lull in physical confidence. also I cant remember the last time a woman wanted me for completely superficial reasons. I mean as a trophy man I have fit the bill at times, but I usually am their fun escape from the world be it sexually, or activity/humor based. After 9 months I usually get sick of them, and I usually realize that all I am is an entertainment provider. so I end the relationship, or at least emotionally end my side of it. part of the equasion is also where I live. 14 years here and it has effected the way i relate to women. Fact Money, and show of money matters here more than pretty much anywere in the world. its one constant rap video. I have had women that i was hanging with say they were gonna look for a rich man at the begining of the summer. not this didnt change my relationship, actually made it more what i was after at the time, but the fact is there that attractive women in the Hamptons do go for rich men simply because they can. also jeff I guess I should also mention the difference between Dating someone and having a relationship I am starting a relationship that hopefully will last. I would date alot of shallow women in the short term. anyhoo Im off the the bank
